Style Me Pretty fetured Miya Hirabayashi's wedding this weekend, and while it was really lovely, what struck me what their personal ceremony. Miya wrote more about it on her blog, and the gist of it is this. Miya and Jordy asked married family members to get up and give advice about marriage, and then each family member asked them a question, and those questions formed their vows. Some of the advice was this (grab a tissue, this made me cry):
Continue reading Miya & Jordy’s Personal Ceremony
Continue reading The Simplest Wedding
I’m so excited to introduce Amanda’s first post on words to read at your wedding. The only advice I can offer is that if you love these passages, but they are feeling a little dense to read over lunch at your desk, print them out. I’ve printed them out myself, and I’ve been reading them at night before I go to sleep. I find a bit more inside them each day. Without further ado, I’m going to let Amanda herself explain how she picked the texts.
I tried to stay away from religious texts (not because I don’t think they’re appropriate and full of lovely, but because folks have such strong feelings about them, and because many of them are so well-known) and Shakespeare (obviously, even Sonnet 116, which was very hard to ignore), and found myself drawn toward passages that I love anyway–not just for weddings. There isn’t a lot about love, I’m afraid, because I figure by the time folks are getting married, well, there’s just more to it than that squishy kind of love. And I tried to come up with passages with which people might not be so familiar (or might simply have forgotten about), some of which are classic, and some of which are more modern. That’s all.
This week, a collection of those that cry to me of lovely and transformation, of what is real, what is full, what is peaceful, waves, swells. As for the whys and wherefores of choosing, I’m not sure I have much to say—it is my hope that these pieces will sing for themselves.
Clear water in a brilliant bowl,
Pink and white carnations. The light
In the room more like a snowy air,
Reflecting snow. A newly-fallen snow
At the end of winter when afternoons return.
Pink and white carnations–one desires
So much more than that. The day itself
Is simplified: a bowl of white,
Cold, a cold porcelain, low and round,
With nothing more than the carnations there.
This weeks fabulous set of readings, as collected by Amanda of First Milk, bends towards the classics (see Part I). It ends with a passage that lights up my face, one Amanda selected without having any idea that I loved it so much I’d used it in a performance piece when I was just 21. So I give you images, readings, magical synergy. Amanda, take it away…
Gifts and ornaments, wishes, grins. For giving, for keeping, for sending off, raising high.
There is our pact and pledge, our secret sign,
Built into that bed—my handiwork
And no one else’s!
An old trunk of olive
Grew like a pillar on the building plot,
And I laid out our bedroom round that tree,
Lined up the stone walls, built the walls and roof,
Gave it a doorway and smooth-fitting doors.
Then I lopped off the silver leaves and branches,
Hewed and shaped that stump from the roots up
Into a bedpost, drilled it, let it serve a model for the rest. I planed them all,
Inlaid them all with silver, gold and ivory,
And stretched a bed between—a pliant web
Of oxhide thongs died crimson.
There’s our sign! Continue reading Words To Read When You Wed: Olives, Leaves
I just got this email from VERY newly married reader Cindy. And All I can say is: getting married better feel like this! It just better. The best part? You know how everyone tells you that you won’t remember your wedding day or your ceremony? Cindy did. I love that. You will be consumed by joy by the end of this post:
We were both so in the moment. So clear minded and happy. I remember every moment of it and don’t think I’ll ever forget. I felt loved and calm, yet excited, and spent the entire weekend just knowing this was right.
While our wedding was traditional in many elements, we worked hard to make it our own and it paid off. My mom and I argued about flowers all year and I eventually gave in BUT I wore a wrist corsage so I could have my flowers with me ALL NIGHT. It was simple and lovely and inexpensive and wonderful.
Things I loved:
- Walking down the aisle to The Weakerthans – (Manifest). My dad had a mini freak out since it wasn’t a romantic song but then smiled at me and patted me on the arm. Best. Feeling. Ever.
- Walking back down the aisle with my husband to Green Day – Pop Rocks and Coke, which solicited cheers from the crowd
- Having bouncers instead of bridesmaids, basically a couple of friends manned the doors and one of my girls, from LA, wore leg warmers! I loved it! It was like 20 degrees that day. Perfect.
- High fiving my bouncers on the way back out and shouting, “Yeah, Girlfrizzles!”
- The impromptu receiving line that had me running around hugging everyone like a maniac
- Our limo ride, which was a wonderful surprise gift from the best man
- Deciding at the last minute we wanted to be introduced as we entered the reception room, choosing “Hot for Teacher,” and walking into the place like we were movie stars heading to the Emmy’s. It was flashbulb fantastic!
- The cake. The cake. The cake. The cake. Oh my god, the cake.
- The dancing. Just about everyone got out there and moved. It was awesome.
- Despite choosing a dress without a train, my husband still managed to step on the edge of the dress and tear it. Two left feet on that guy. He said, “I’m just doomed, aren’t I?” I laughed and told him it’s just a freaking dress and it doesn’t matter, it’s coming off in a little while anyway. That seemed to cheer him up quite a bit.
Our winter, partly D-I-Y wedding rocked so hard and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Can I get a rousing cheer? Don’t you all just want to stand up and wave your arms around and dance? Because H*ll yes. H*ell freaking yes. (I love you guys!)
We’ve come to the end of the ‘Words To Read When You Wed’ series (Part I, Part II), at least for now. This last batch of readings from the fabulous Amanda of First Milk is, hands down, my favorite. It treats marriage as the serious act of finality that it is – worthy of celebration because of it’s simplicity. The fact that two humans are willing to say I take you now, and always. Now, on to Amanda:
Josiah Franklin and Abiah his wife
lie here interred.
They lived lovingly together in wedlock fifty-five years;
and without an estate or any gainful employment,
with God’s blessing,
maintained a large family comfortably;
and brought up thirteen children and seven grandchildren
From this instance, reader,
be encouraged to diligence in thy calling, by constant labour,
and honest industry, and distrust not Providence.
He was a pious and prudent man,
she a discreet and virtuous woman.
Their youngest son,
in filial regard to their memory,
places this stone. Continue reading Words To Read When You Wed: Ashes, Tea