reclaiming wife

Marriage Equality

Since we've gotten engaged, I've found it personally upsetting that we are getting married in a country where our gay friends still can't legally get hitched. This has always been a issue I cared deeply about, but I was a little blindsided by how personal it suddenly became. Now, David and I are not those heterosexual couples that have decided to wait to get married till everyone can get married (clearly). We think there are more practical ways to fight for that kind of equality. But it bothers us both. We feel a little like we are crossing a picket line. Part of our more intense then expected feelings probably stem from the fact that we happen attend a LGBT focused synagogue here in SF. We know that when we get called to the Torah the Friday before our wedding, we'll be standing in front of our community, the vast majority of whom don't have the right to the legal, financial, and cultural benefits we are about to receive. And that just sucks.

So, we are trying to figure out how we want to deal with this during our wedding. We want to find a way to address this issue without getting too preachy about it. I tend to feel that a wedding is not the right place to drag out my soapbox and climb up onto it. So we are weighing options. We might put a small statement in the program. We've heard of people incorporating a reading from the Massachusetts Marriage Law into the ceremony, but its not super poetic, and it feels a little heavy handed for me. Ariel of Offbeat Bride handed off her bouquet to her lesbian aunts, but we don't have any lesbian aunts!
Continue reading Marraige Is Not An Equal Right (just yet)

The California Supreme Court had overturned the ban on gay marriages. You should know, that when the news hit, I was at my computer, hitting refresh on my New York Times browser. (I might like talking about weddings, but in real life, I’m a political junkie). I was so overjoyed that I teared up, and David is still reading all 108 pages of the decision. We each celebrate in our own ways.

Hopefully it will still be legal next August. It’s important to remember we have a long road ahead of us.

**Update: we just got back from The Castro, since we thought today would be a nice day, symbolically, to pick up my wedding ring, which was getting resized. A store had a sign up with a rainbow flag that said ‘Proud to be a Californian’ and I teared up all over again.**

We’re still celebrating the CA Supreme Court Ruling out here in San Francisco, so I can’t resist posting this! I wanted to share this amazing Moulin Rouge-esq wedding with you because it is so cool, so stylish, so inspiring, and so unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I baffled why it hasn’t made it’s way all over the blog-o-sphere already. It was shot by the super talented Our Labor of Love out of Atlanta. So here goes!

Meet Aly and Elroi:
This is so cool I might fall out of my chair. PIRATE bird cake toppers. It’s like all my favorite things in one!Check out the reception hall! Moulin Rouge meets a wedding. I love it. Continue reading Aly, Elroi & The Pirates

Today is a historic day here in California. Today, for the first time, gay weddings will be performed across the state legally. There are few things I believe more strongly in then the universal right of people who love and are committed to each other to have all of the rights and privileges of marriage. This is truly the civil rights issue of our time. I could not be more proud to be a native Californian today.

I’ll see you at City Hall. I’ll be the one cheering and in tears.

Picture via Vassar Alumnae Quarterly

So, as you all know, gay marriages were legally performed in California for the first time this week (hooray!) David and I went down to City Hall on the very first day to cheer the happy couples, and it is something I will remember forever. Watching couples who have been together for years finally get the legal right of marriage was such a important reminder of what all this wedding stuff is about. It's not about our colors, or our favors, or the big party, or even about the beautiful dress. It's about the privilege of pledging to share your life with someone.
Continue reading Remembering What It’s All About

Have you been checking out Jessamyn Harris‘ adorable gay weddings? If you haven’t you totally should be.