Since we've gotten engaged, I've found it personally upsetting that we are getting married in a country where our gay friends still can't legally get hitched. This has always been a issue I cared deeply about, but I was a little blindsided by how personal it suddenly became. Now, David and I are not those heterosexual couples that have decided to wait to get married till everyone can get married (clearly). We think there are more practical ways to fight for that kind of equality. But it bothers us both. We feel a little like we are crossing a picket line. Part of our more intense then expected feelings probably stem from the fact that we happen attend a LGBT focused synagogue here in SF. We know that when we get called to the Torah the Friday before our wedding, we'll be standing in front of our community, the vast majority of whom don't have the right to the legal, financial, and cultural benefits we are about to receive. And that just sucks.
So, we are trying to figure out how we want to deal with this during our wedding. We want to find a way to address this issue without getting too preachy about it. I tend to feel that a wedding is not the right place to drag out my soapbox and climb up onto it. So we are weighing options. We might put a small statement in the program. We've heard of people incorporating a reading from the Massachusetts Marriage Law into the ceremony, but its not super poetic, and it feels a little heavy handed for me. Ariel of Offbeat Bride handed off her bouquet to her lesbian aunts, but we don't have any lesbian aunts!
Continue reading Marraige Is Not An Equal Right (just yet)
Thoughts & Action
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Marraige Is Not An Equal Right (just yet)
May
2008
The California Supreme Court had overturned the ban on gay marriages. You should know, that when the news hit, I was at my computer, hitting refresh on my New York Times browser. (I might like talking about weddings, but in real life, I’m a political junkie). I was so overjoyed that I teared up, and David is still reading all 108 pages of the decision. We each celebrate in our own ways.
Hopefully it will still be legal next August. It’s important to remember we have a long road ahead of us.
**Update: we just got back from The Castro, since we thought today would be a nice day, symbolically, to pick up my wedding ring, which was getting resized. A store had a sign up with a rainbow flag that said ‘Proud to be a Californian’ and I teared up all over again.**
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Happy Gay Marriage Day, California!!
Jun
2008
Today is a historic day here in California. Today, for the first time, gay weddings will be performed across the state legally. There are few things I believe more strongly in then the universal right of people who love and are committed to each other to have all of the rights and privileges of marriage. This is truly the civil rights issue of our time. I could not be more proud to be a native Californian today.
I’ll see you at City Hall. I’ll be the one cheering and in tears.
Picture via Vassar Alumnae Quarterly
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Remembering What It’s All About
Jun
2008
So, as you all know, gay marriages were legally performed in California for the first time this week (hooray!) David and I went down to City Hall on the very first day to cheer the happy couples, and it is something I will remember forever. Watching couples who have been together for years finally get the legal right of marriage was such a important reminder of what all this wedding stuff is about. It's not about our colors, or our favors, or the big party, or even about the beautiful dress. It's about the privilege of pledging to share your life with someone.
Continue reading Remembering What It’s All About
03
Vote No On Prop 8
Nov
2008
I've been a outspoken advocate for gay rights since I was in the 7th grade, when I wrote my social studies thesis paper on the right of gay Americans to serve in the military. After I presented my paper, my ultra-conservative teacher told me that while he still didn't think that being gay was right, I had convinced him that regardless of what he thought, it was not his right to discriminate against people for being gay. Mr. Espinoza, wherever you are, this one is for you.Tomorrow is a huge day for America, with a important and historic presidential election. But for California, and for this blog, the day has special meaning. Tomorrow we will vote on whether or not we amend the constitution of this state to include discrimination - to strip the new found rights of gay and lesbian men and women to marry and have a legal foundation on which to build their families. We can not let this happen. So wherever you are in the state tomorrow, and whatever you are doing, go vote. I don't care if you are tired, if you are sick, if you have never voted before, if you don't think politics has anything to do with you, if its hard for you to get off work, if the voting lines seem long, or if you think the presidential election is in the bag. You need to walk out your door, and walk to the polling place and vote no on Prop 8.
Continue reading Vote No On Prop 8
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Justice, Justice, We Will Pursue
Nov
2008
I realized that I couldn’t not say something what happened in California today, when we found out that Prop 8 passed by a narrow margin, and that gay marriage would be legally outlawed in California. First of all, I can tell you that getting the news felt like getting drop kicked in the stomach. It was a horrible feeling, and particularly strange coming right on the heels of a night that was filled with elation for so many of us.I’m known for being something of an eternal pessimist, but not today. I refuse. No matter what happened last night, those of us who are on the side of LGBT rights are on the winning side of history, and this will not stand. My family has been fighting actively and loudly for gay rights since I was ten years old, and for the first time in my life victory and justice are so close that I can taste it, and so close that I can see it, just over the horizon. Now is not the time to give up hope, now is the time to pick up the banner and keep marching forward.
Continue reading Justice, Justice, We Will Pursue
