BUT! People keep saying things to us like, "I'll see you in two weeks, but I won't SEE you." or "You'll be too stressed to talk, but I'm excited to be there." or "I'll see you from afar, but you won't have a minute to talk," or, or, or.... and all I can think is if we don't get to hang out with people over the weekend of our wedding, if we don't have chats, if we don't have gossipy drinks, if we don't have teary hugs, and excited arm waving conversations, if we don't really SEE people, then... this is one over-priced party.
So, sanity check, my wedding graduates. I suspect that, if you put your mind to it, you will actually see people at your wedding, and actually enjoy time with them. It's like remembering your wedding... if you want to, you will.
Continue reading Being There, And Seeing
The evening of our wedding day we were browsing in a used bookstore (this is not surprising to you, is it? Of course not). I was looking through the magazine section and I stumbled upon a wedding magazine, a wedding magazine that I *like* at that. And I had this dull feeling in the pit of my stomach.
And suddenly I realized, “It’s not my problem anymore!” And I felt terribly terribly free.
You hear a lot about post-wedding depression. You hear about how when you wake up the morning after your wedding you will feel happy, but also a little empty… sad that the party is over. Maybe. Maybe this will happen to you, I don’t know. But what I can offer you is a ray of hope – it did not happen to us. Our wedding was wonderful. Our wedding was absurdly joyous. Our wedding was one amazing party. But it was exactly the right length, and when it was over I ran out of that door, making long strides in my silver heels as I dashed to the car.
Thursday, in London:
David: We should make a goal that we will go to a different pub, everyday that we are on our honeymoon.
Me: And *that* is why I married you.
One of the great things about this blog (and something I don’t have enough time to do as much as I would like) is clicking back through to your blogs when someone leaves a particularly kind or smart comment. That’s how I discovered the dear-to-me Amanda of First Milk. Most recently I got a comment from Sarah, and clicked through to find the “i do” chronicles, which is notable not because it’s a wedding blog, but because Sarah is such an excellent writer. I wanted to share this snippet about her husband’s nieces at their wedding, because it was so lovely I teared up right away when I read it:
I love this photo of all of Patrick’s little nieces standing around us. We were waiting for our first dance, and they were all looking at us with that sense of awe. Later, after we returned from the Bahamas, we were sifting through notes that guests left for us. A sign and a jar marked “wishes” greeted guests at the door of the reception, inviting them to leave “wishes, memories, or a bit of wisdom for the bride and groom.” Most of the note cards contained traditional words: “We wish you a life of love and happiness.” And then we pulled out the first little wish. “I wish for a dog, elly,” said one, a name scrawled below the wish. And then another: “I wish I go to Hollywood.” And finally, “I WANT A PERSON.” That last one really moved me. If we are lucky, we find a person — to love, honor, to care for. Isn’t that what we all want? Someone. And that’s the magic of a wedding.
Aside: When the stewardess just came by passing out landing cards, she asked if we were a family, and David said, “Yes.” So how great is that?
So. I want to tell you about the wedding, a little bit at a time. This community made me far braver, calmer, and more honest on my wedding day, and that made all the difference. Because of that, I want to share some of that joy with you. The problem is, like East Side Bride before me, I’m having a hard time writing about our wedding. It’s not so much that I’m afraid of shaking the glitter off, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t come off if I tried and I know that there are parts of the wedding that we’ll keep just for us. The problem, I think, is that the wedding feels so big. People always tell you about their wedding details, or their wedding timeline, and I suppose I could tell you about those things, but they miss the point. They are not the wedding I experienced. This is the wedding I experienced: Continue reading Back From Bliss