In a strange and wonderful way our elopement helped us figure out what we want our wedding to be, and much of what our marriage already is.

Ultimately, we agreed to have the wedding indoors, in the Natural History Museum. If we weren’t going to be married outside, we were at least going to be married surrounded by taxidermied animals.

When you pour so much of yourself into something, sometimes you sit on the other side wondering if anyone noticed your hard work. And sometimes I forget that all of that stuff wasn’t really the point.

While we were getting ready, I opened a gift from Brian that perfectly summed up the entire wedding—a framed embroidery of Jessie Spano’s historical meltdown.

The bottom line was this: I was going to marry my favorite person in the whole world. No lack of alcohol or limos or individually wrapped pie pops or whatever else could change that.

Sitting on the back off that motorcycle in my wedding dress, I practiced some Ujjayi Pranayama breathing and found my wedding zen.

The best part about creating your own playlist is that you love every song; the worst part is that, because you love every song, you don’t want to take a break.

My emotional response astounded me. I knew marriage was a big step, but I felt prepared. I had embraced the zen! But it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Our wedding is a short but beloved chapter in the book about Who I Am. It’s a chapter that taught me that the next time I’m stuck with the memory of a disappointing event, I’ll be brave enough to fight for my own well-being.

When I think about my wedding, I don’t think about the ruined menus, but how I felt as John twirled me on the dance floor while everyone we love stood around us singing, clapping, and laughing.

It was a ceremony which my Dad later described to me as ancient, fervent and as real as it gets. It was the most tangible love I have ever experienced and unsurpassable in its significance in our lives.

You will constantly have to decide whether or not the things others suggest or want to help with will cost you anything, literally and figuratively. When they cost you nothing and will benefit the other person, just roll with it.

When you say yes, your community says yes. That raw, ragged, expression of love opens hearts so wide that something important changes. Your wedding will matter.

Jeff and I are passionate about social justice, poverty and human rights. We had just spent time with children who literally lived in dumps. How could we balance this reality with the expense that a wedding tends to carry?

Our wedding felt like one awesome mini-lifetime; everybody seemed to just be bubbling up feelings of love, and there was a crazy dance party to end it all.

There is nothing better than having a yard full of people there for you and your partner because they love you and support you. It was like having a zillion birthdays& Thanksgivings & Christmas’ all rolled into one perfect night.

I met Reiko at JFK Customs and we drove into the city to my very tiny apartment in a huge sky-scraper. We now celebrate that date as the day we began our lives together.

Perhaps if I had one chance to freeze time, it would have been at the wedding reception as the sun was going down, so I could stop and appreciate all the love that we have in our lives. Soak it all up.