Nadine, Writer and MPA student & Jared, Writer and Sales
One sentence sum-up of the wedding vibe: Feminism, sequins, whiskey, one long-haired groom, and lots of dancing on a Sunday afternoon.
Soundtrack for reading: “Only You” by Yaz
Other Cool Stuff We Should Know About
I’m interested, always, in what it means to be a woman in this world, and I became especially interested in what it means to be a bride. The wedding industrial complex, and related issues of body image, consumerism, competition, and Pinterest, were all very interesting to me; I wanted my wedding to reflect a love of my husband and community, as well as disdain for the torture women (and brides) are endlessly subjected to.
I found old magazines, articles, and photos from the early to mid-twentieth century—even a medical journal from 1898 about “disease of women familiarly explained” and the “mysteries” of the uterus—to decorate. Our photo booth was made entirely from vintage dictionary pages.
Most guests loved this kind of energy and weird materials, and it was extremely hands-on decor. By the end when everyone was drunk, “How to Attain and Practice the Ideal Sex Life,” a book from 1940 with an opener from Margaret Sanger, was across the room and people were taking home pamphlets about abstinence from 1963. I loved that.
Out of an antique German book of butterflies, Tate created an homage to my mother with hundreds of hand-painted paper butterflies to be written on and pinned. It served as a guest book as well as decor, and provided meaningful presence for my mother.
IFTT was the best possible thing we could have done, techwise. All the little things that people captured—even their outfit prep that morning—were such happy surprises afterward.
I got my second romper outfit at Topshop because I wanted to dance in shorts. By the end of the night the romper was covered in booze, bronzer, and a drop of someone’s blood (still not sure what happened).
Our cocktails were called the Antler and the Tentacle. Tentacles were generally an important part of the wedding design. Our rehearsal dinner was at a dive bar in Brooklyn and a pre-wedding party was held at One Last Shag, the Bed Stuy bar where me and Jared first made out and he proposed (different days).
I kind of want to cry thinking about it all.
Our People
Our officiant, Joshua Tjaden, is an LGBT activist who was integral to ending Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. He integrated our shared politics and progressive values into the ceremony that made everyone cry. We did rock paper scissors, in the spirit of equity, to decide who went first for vows.
Our ring bearer, Maria Schirmer, is a teaching artist and expert in the intersection of politics and art; she did an amazing speech uniting Breaking Bad and John Steinbeck’s dedication from East of Eden before presenting us with a handmade ring box she and her father, a famed Iowa woodcut artist named John Schirmer, made for us. We did a ring-warming around the room; very special.
Our wedding witness was Leigh Goldenberg, the Marketing Director of Wash Cycle in Philadelphia—it’s a triple bottom line small business that does green laundry services while creating jobs for people overcoming issues of homelessness and former incarceration. My bridesmaid Erica Cardwell is Assistant Director of Arts and Culture at HMI, which serves homeless LGBTQ youth. Jared’s sister works for Families First in Boston, an organization working to create health parent-child relationships amidst crises that affect families like homelessness and poverty.
Our friends, Nic Ishaq and Ben Trawick-Smith played a live version of “I Buried a Bone” for the ceremony, just magical. We also incorporated a quote from Ron Currie Jr.’s Everything Matters! a sci-fi novel that Jared introduced to me when we first met. Kind of a morbid excerpt about what happens after life—the answer is nothing, so get it while the getting is good. There was also a moment of silence for my mother, who passed of complications of MS almost exactly four years earlier.
I sound like a LinkedIn profile, but it’s these people and their values that made me so happy to get shit-faced and celebrate in one room, for one day, all together.
Favorite Thing About The Wedding
The best friends and family in the world—this giant pack of artists, activists, weirdos, and scientists—going nuts in the middle of the dance floor on the sunniest Sunday in May.
