It’s no secret that the wedding industry is a pretty sexist place. Grooms are almost universally ignored as human beings, and it’s assumed that all women have been dreaming about their wedding days since birth (and that’s not even counting the numerous ways the industry ignores LGBTQ couples at large). But sexism in the wedding industry isn’t always as overt as say, this diamond ad. Sometimes it’s more subtle. Like, in the way photographers pose couples for portraits.
So this week, as we were writing a post about how to make wedding photography more egalitarian (coming soon to an APW near you), we asked Vivian Chen Photography and Emily Takes Photos if they’d be up for helping us put together some examples of poses that don’t play on the typical masculine/feminine dichotomy. But while they were at it, they couldn’t help doing a gender swap on some of the more traditional wedding poses, and the result was too good not to share:
The Headless Groomsman
When to use this pose: If your partner has really sexy ankles. Or if they are in the witness protection program.
The Breast Friends
When to use this pose: When your partner just switched their shampoo, and you can’t quite tell what it smells like, but you’re pretty sure you like it.
The Two Tickets to the Gunshow
When to use this pose: If your partner has been working out, and you want to show everyone how much you appreciate their biceps.
The I Carry Your Heart (I Carry It On My Back)
When to use this pose: You accidentally bought your shoes a size too small, and now walking kind of hurts.
The Oops, I fell Over
When to use this pose: If you’ve have too much champagne and it’s time to take a nap.
Works best if: Your partner is wearing a lot of tulle (makes for a great pillow.)
We’ll be back next week with those useful tips on making wedding photography a little more gender neutral, but in the meantime, enjoy the absurdity. Eat your heart out, Pinterest.
Related: A similar take on engagement photos, and this hilarious groomsmaids video from BuzzFeed.
