The Surprise Good

As Meg mentioned in her Letter From The Editor yesterday, the internet has a way of magnifying the bad (the good too, but a lot of the time, the bad). I see this particularly when it comes to our relationships. When we’re mad at our partners, or when we feel like we’re in a slump, some days it’s just easier to hole up in a room and practice the art of rumination with our internet friends rather than turning our energy towards change. And while occasionally this can be helpful (sometimes you just have to vent, you know?), most of the time it just makes us sadder, angrier, and more focused on the things going wrong. So to combat this cycle, we want to focus today’s open thread on the good in our relationships.

Meg and I have talked about this at length with each other, but we both have a tendency to frontload our worry. Which means that when it comes to big life changes, we anticipate the worst, only to find ourselves pleasantly surprised by reality most of the time. It’s one of my worst habits, and it often leads to a spiral of everything that has ever gone wrong, ever, which means obviously this thing I’m about to do will also go completely wrong, obviously. Usually the only way to get me out of the funk is for Michael to remind me that the doom spiral I’m feeling is probably not real and in fact most things I’m worried about turn out perfectly fine.

So in the spirit of reminding people like me that The Good exists, today’s open thread asks: what was something you were unsure of before you got married, that turned out just fine? (Or even better, that turned out to be kind of awesome?) For me, I was terrified that marriage was going to take away part of who I am, but instead it’s allowed me to be a less-filtered, more-authentic version of myself that I like so much better than before.

So now it’s your turn. What’s been your pleasant surprise of marriage? Let’s turn this place into an echo chamber of awesome today.

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