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Posts Tagged ‘APW Book Club’

Caitlin Moran How To Be A Woman

Yesterday I mentioned that I spent a chunk of my vacation rather greedily gobbling up books, and well, I needed to clue you in about one of those books in particular. Thanks to a recommendation from Cate, I snapped up Caitlin Moran’s How To Be A Woman in the Heathrow Airport. We can’t get it easily in the States, but I’d been told it was amazing and contributing to an ongoing discussion of feminism in the media in the UK. (Why don’t we have that Stateside? I want to know!)

So I picked it up, and my mind was blown. Because, you guys, this is one of those rare books that feels like it was written for me in particular. It felt like it was written for you guys in particular. It is a book with our names on it. It is a funny, feminist, honest discussion of what it’s like to be a woman today. It was, rather obviously, the next APW book club pick. I couldn’t help it. It picked itself.

Because here is the thing: I’m a feminist. Obviously. But I’m not a very angry one (unless you get me started on name change and children’s last names on a personal level, and then I’m quite pissed off). I’m more the funny kind of feminist. And there is not anywhere near enough of that going around, if you ask me. So while How To Be A Woman isn’t technically about weddings or marriage (though she touches a bit on both), we’ll be reading it. In fact, I’m going to go so far as to make all of you in the US order it from the UK, because it’s that good.

Specifically, it’s this good:

Caitlin Moran

In case you were wondering how many copies you should buy of a book that you want to give out to everyone (perhaps a sane wedding book by someone you know, coming out at the end of the year?), the answer is five. It would have been more, if I thought I could fit them in our carry-on luggage at Heathrow, but five will do. Because Caitlin Moran says things like this:

However, whilst chipping in your six penn’orth on what it’s actually like—rather than what we pretend it’s like—to be a woman is vital, we still also need a bit of analysis-y, argument-y, ‘this needs to change-y’ stuff. You know. Feminism.

And this:

I don’t know if we can talk about ‘waves’ of feminism any more—by my reckoning, the next wave would be the fifth, and I suspect it’s around the fifth wave that you stop referring to individual waves, and start to refer, simply, to an incoming tide.

But if there is to be a fifth wave of feminism, I would hope that the main thing that distinguishes it from all that came before is that women counter the awkwardness, disconnect and bullshit of being a modern woman not by shouting at it, internalizing it or squabbling about it—but by simply pointing at it, and going ‘HA!’ instead. Continue reading APW Book Club: Caitlin Moran’s How To Be A Woman

{Signs from the Raleigh-Durham party.}

This weekend, in advance of the big Yay New York party in NYC, APWers all over the country got together to celebrate marriage equality, thanks to the massive powers of organization of Cindy of Crafty Broads in Chicago. I expected people to throw little book club style parties, but Team Practical does not go halfway in the party department. There were more fabulous baked goods than you can imagine, champagne flute towers, and raffle prizes. It was a taste of what’s to come in NYC on tomorrow (tickets here). Let’s start with DC’s blowout party thrown by long time APWer DDay Porter:

The DC party took place at a semi-private room off the upstairs bar at Dupont Italian Kitchen (DIK Bar—yes, it’s a gay bar, the name is intentional). Despite the torrential downpour that broke over us right as the party was supposed to start, we had a good turnout. We had a raffle, champagne, and rainbow cupcakes. Raffle prizes were: Yay! New York limited edition tote, gift certificates to Scion Restaurant (owned by an APW lady, who just got married on Saturday), and a 10-class pack at STROGA (strength + yoga). The crowd was mostly APW ladies and their friends and partners (and my mom!), but we were very excited to meet two ladies who saw the party listed in DCist’s Weekend Picks and decided to check it out (we think APW gained two new readers!). And we had several guys wander in from the bar area to see what the party was about, and a couple of them stayed to hang out for a bit.

*****

Then there was Raleigh-Durham, which will quite possibly put all future APW parties everywhere to shame. Including the *actual* Yay New York party. They do not play in North Carolina. Yes, that’s a Yay New York Logo brownie cake. Yes, that’s a champagne flute tower.

The party in Chapel Hill (technically the Raleigh-Durham regional party) was so much fun! Most of the people didn’t know each other to begin with, but conversations throughout the night ranged over a ridiculous number of topics, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Well, they obviously were, because while the party was supposed to be from 7pm to 11pm, people didn’t leave until after midnight! The APWers got to explain all about APW, Yay New York, and why we were fundraising for Lambda Legal. If it hadn’t been such a frenzy to get everything ready, I’d probably want to do this every weekend—there really is nothing better than five straight hours of great conversation, good food, cake, and champagne.

*****

Then there was Ohio. Not to be out-done by a logo brownie, Maggie made a tiered rainbow cake. I know. I know. The actual Yay New York party is starting to be scared for it’s life. Continue reading Yay New York: Regional Party Wrap-Ups

{APW book club photo by Christy of Moodeous Photography in Denver}

For the most recent APW book club, we read For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage, by Tara Parker-Pope. This was the first time I’d gone with a book club pick that I hadn’t yet read (after a wonderfully democratic voting process), and that was perhaps an error. Let’s just say, I wouldn’t have picked it as a good APW match if I’d read it. As we discussed in yesterday’s book club round up, there were problems. Correlation does not,  in fact, equal causation; egalitarian marriages are very possible; and gay couples are not a brand new development to be studied, even if gay marriage in the US is just now becoming legal (but thanks for playing, researchers). But, what are you going to do?

{Emily‘s not so sure about the book, by Allison Andres Photography in the Bay Area}

So, I thought I’d dive in with a list of awesome things I’ve learned, and let us discuss the good and the bad of the book in the comments.

Things I Learned:

  • Women can sniff out immune system genes called ‘major histocompatibility complex’ or MHC. Women think partners with very different MHC to their own smell delicious. But! Hormonal birth control screws up our ability to sniff out compatible mates, so researchers think ladies looking for a partner to pro-create with should maybe get off the pill. I realized I was off the pill when David and I got together, and was oddly relived. Men? Well, they can sniff out fertility. Ofcoursetheycan. (p. 54) Continue reading APW Book Club—For Better, The Discussion

{Denver book club, by Christy of Moodeous Photography}

Let me sum up this month’s APW book clubs for you in two sentences:

  • Everyone agrees that correlation does not equal causation.
  • Lots of booze.

{San Francisco boozes it up, by Emily Takes Photos}

We’ll dive into a proper discussion of For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage, by Tara Parker-Pope tomorrow, but for now let’s dive into the pictures, and sum ups of what happened in some of the many meet-ups.

{Chicago book club: shot by Christy Tyler Photography}

Sidenote: it’s pretty crazy to think of all these groups of smart women meeting up all over the world on the same day to have similar conversations, isn’t it? Several people asked me how it felt to be responsible for all of it… and all I can tell you is that I don’t really know. It feels like this bizarre phenomenon, like herding cats, but not like something I started (even though I did). But what the hell? Let’s celebrate it, right?

{Edinburgh meet-up, shot by Lauren McGlynn Photography}

First up, a meet-up that it kills me I was not at, because it took place in one of my favorite cities in the world: Edinburgh. This was written up by Kirsty of A Safe Mooring, and also of our Wedding Graduate section (She cut her hair. It’s super cute, right?):

We chatted about the book a bit, and it sparked some interesting conversations about divorce rates, how we argue with our partners (apparently instead of saying “you forgot to buy milk”, we must say “I am sad that we have no milk”. Hmm), and so on. I had bought a copy of the book second-hand from Amazon, and when it arrived someone had already filled in their answers to all the questionnaires, which was bizarre and hilarious in equal measures. But the consensus among those of us who had read the book was that it was pretty dry and, erm, kind of dull.  So instead we talked about our lives, our weddings, our families, school, work, religion, the hideousness of the majority of Scottish wedding photography and how to make skirts out of men’s t-shirts. We also drank cocktails out of jam jars, which I highly recommend. It was so fun to meet such a variety of intelligent, interesting, beautiful women whose paths would perhaps never otherwise have crossed – it’s like APW leapt off the screen and came to life. (More here. Though the editor is secretly disappointed that so many cocktails and so little whiskey was drunk. Not whenever I make it into to town!)

{London!}

Next up, London. If we’re being frank, I’m slightly miffed that I wasn’t there. It seems almost rude that London is holding parties without me, but still. They do look like they’re having fun, right? Alicia sends the following report: Continue reading For Better—APW Book Club Meetups

Ladies,

It’s that time again. It is APW book club weekend! In case you missed it, we’re reading For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage, by Tara Parker-Pope. I need to hustle up and finish it (and I bet you do to), but y’all? It is good. I’m halfway through, and I’ve learned a lot (mostly things we’re doing right, or ways that our relationship is a little different from average). I even made David take some quizzes while we were on vacation in Mexico, poor thing.

Most meetups are happening all over the world on Saturday June 4th, 1pm. Thanks to our long-suffering assistant editor Lauren, we have an update for you on book club locations. Please click the above image (twice!) to see it nice and big, and see exactly where your local meetup is being held. If you have any questions go to Facebook for more information and find your cities meet-up thread (San Francisco is having one, they are just still searching for a location). And side-note… can we talk about how crazy it is that we have so many book clubs all over the country? It sort of boggles me. Also, I pretty pissed that I won’t be attending the meetups in Edinburgh or London or New York City. (Though I swear I’ll make it one day.)

Now! Just like always, we’re going to crowd source some book club questions to kick off discussion and break the ice. If any of you have already read or are currently reading For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage and have suggested questions, throw them out in the comment area. Just questions though, no discussion! I’ll post a list of questions tomorrow afternoon, and we’ll follow up next week with lots of online discussion for those of you who can’t make it to the book clubs.

As for the rest of you, get reading! And after the book club, please consider posting pictures in APW’s Flickr pool, and send me notes on what happens. I’m out of town where there is no meetup, so I need notes! I need tweets! I need to follow along! And I swear to you, I never get tired of seeing your faces, and cows, and sex club shopping trips, and sparkles.

Till Saturday!

Meg

(Note: Need to buy the book?  All links in this post are associate links, which means if you buy the book by clicking through the site, you help support APW. Yay!)

The votes, are in!   The next APW book club will take place on Saturday June 4th, 1pm.  (This time is a suggestion, it can be adjusted as your individual club sees fit.)

In case you missed it, we’ll be reading For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage, by Tara Parker-Pope.  (Hint: if you buy it through this Amazon Affiliate link and a portion of the sale goes to support APW. Though if you buy it at a brick and mortar independent book store, we’re behind that too.) I bought it this week, and thus far, I’m fascinated. It’s really compelling to read about marriage through the lens of scientific study, instead of self-help chatter. Particularly when science tells you that you’re doing something right (which I am, apparently! Win!). And, fact: You’re going to pass this one to your partner when you’re done. And if you’re like me, he might actually read it, because he likes facts more than warm fuzzies.

So! Organizational details: local meet-ups will be organized through the  APW Facebook discussion page.  Some city threads have been started; if your area isn’t featured please add threads for new locations as needed. Once we get closer to June 4th, we’ll give the official locations and book club point persons, as well as brainstorm discussion questions.  So head over here and start talking about things, like time, place, what you’ll wear, and drinks.  You know, the important stuff.