* Lauren, Wedding Photographer & Aidan, Philosopher * Photographer: Gabriel Hacker * Soundtrack for reading: “Strangers“ by The Kinks *
One sentence sum up of the wedding vibe: A Scottish wedding, homegrown with lots of love, and a few confused/amused/eventually very drunk Americans in attendance (They had whiskey for the toasts! What were we to do? We were overwhelmed!)
* Julia, Program Coordinator & Wade, Trader of Other People’s Dough * Photographer: Zachary Hunt (APW sponsor) * Soundtrack for reading: “Wagon Wheel” by Old Crow Medicine Show *
One sentence sum up of the wedding vibe: A non-traditional, traditional great time—a country church wedding laced with very quirky and special touches throughout—or, as Wade puts it: bitchin’!
* Kate, Client Associate in Investment Management & Conor, Finish Carpenter * Photographer: calin + bisous photo (APW Sponsor) * Soundtrack for reading: “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long (To Stop Now)” by Otis Redding *
One sentence sum up of the wedding vibe: The most relaxing, family-filled summer week of our lives capped with an amazing afternoon of love, music, and incredible food.
*Natalie,Economic Development Specialist & Eric, Reporter*
Today’s wedding graduate post just nails it. I mean, NAILS it. Natalie wraps everything I learned while wedding planning into one little ball and ties it with a bow for you. It reminds me more of my own wedding graduate post than anything else (and with totally gorgeous pictures). All of you in the trenches of planning are totally mandated to read this. It’s required. Love, Meg.
I have tried to write this post many times, started it many ways. Mostly in my head. But thinking about what I needed to hear when I was engaged and reading this site, I think what I want to say is this: It is worth it.
Whoever you are, your engagement has its own trials and tribulations. Some of mine were figuring out where to have the wedding when our family and friends are so wildly dispersed throughout the country, stressing out over the last thing I thought I’d ever care about (the dress), being long distance for the last five months of our engagement, navigating through different perspectives about the meaning of a wedding and the role religion plays in it.
Those were mine. You will have yours too. You will work through them, just lean on your partner, try to be true to yourself and considerate of others.
The week before the wedding, I was sitting on a couch in a rented basement apartment with my mom, folding paper and tying ribbons to mini vodka bottles while watching a romantic comedy. I remember very clearly telling her that I was just so ready for everyone to go back to not caring about me or my decisions. I am not someone with an extremely defined sense of style, a good details person, or very decisive. So the process of making decision after decision that would be held up for inspection by everyone close to me was, at times, agonizing.
I thought I would be SO done with weddings.
Cut to: a few months ago, when a business trip landed me in San Francisco City Hall on a Friday afternoon, which happens to be high tide for marriage ceremonies. I must have seen a dozen brides and grooms, and it took all of my professional decorum (and the fact that I’m really shy around strangers) to not run around hugging all of them and yelling “CONGRATULATIONS! You’re getting MARRIED TODAY!” I was just positively overjoyed for these people I didn’t know because I knew now what kind of day they were having. Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Natalie & Eric
*Katherine, Teacher & Spencer, Teacher*
I’m super excited about today’s wedding graduate post, and not just because it was shot by APW sponsor Allison Andres, or because Katherine and Spencer got their cake from the same bakery that we got our cake from. Nope! It’s because Katherine talks about planning a wedding with her inner flower girl in tow. I’ve talked pretty frankly about how much I’ve been obsessed with weddings since I was super teeny, so I completely feel Katherine on this. But in the end, I love this post the most because of her message of letting go and realizing when you’re marrying something you love… everything really does work out. Somehow. Inner flower girl and all.
Months ago my father wrote his own piece for APW about his wedding some thirty-five years ago. He waxed eloquently on the idea of the wedding being a beginning, on how life will have its twists and turns. Today I will tell you a story about what a hissyfit over beer and wine taught me about myself. My dad is a professional writer, and I am simply a first grade teacher who tries to keep it real. Here is my story:
My first brush with the wonder that is a wedding came when I was six years old and was tapped to be a flower girl. I remember going to a seamstress with my mother and grandmother to have my dress made. Oh my gosh you can actually have a dress made just for you? I was sold. Later on, after the wedding, I would routinely put on my flower girl dress, crank up Whitney Houston, and dance on my bed. Doing this made me feel invincible.
Fast-forward roughly twenty years to the invention of reality television. This genre has brought us many guilty pleasures such as American Idol, Survivor, and Dancing With The Stars. And, of course, The Learning Channel, aka TLC. Only God knows what exactly we are supposed to be learning from this channel, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t produce some fascinating television.
I loved watching to see the types of dresses brides were buying, the different centerpieces that were featured, and if a birdcage veil was considered appropriate. Were most brides choosing to go with a buffet or a plated dinner for their big day? Inquiring minds want to know!
Over time my love of weddings turned into judgment of weddings. Since my brush with greatness as a six-year-old flower girl, I had been crafting my big day in my mind. As I watched more television (and eventually read more wedding-porn blogs) my crafting turned into criticism. I would find myself attending the weddings of friends and loved ones and thinking, “Ugh, I would never have only one choice of cake. Guests need variety,” or, “Why on earth would you pick this song for your first dance?” I moved from being a woman with my own ideas, to being downright critical. And it was not good. Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Katherine & Spencer
If you are like me, you have been waiting around tapping your toe, wondering when our own Shotgun Shirley (whose real name is Rachel… long story) would write her wedding graduate post. Rachel shared a bit about planning her Shotgun Wedding (which we both agree is the funniest term in the world, so we’re using it) last fall, when she found out rather suddenly that she was pregnant. And now she’s back, with a beautiful wedding story (that dress!) and… A BABY! Rachel’s story is a perfect complement to this morning’s discussion of accepting life, our partners, ourselves, and our union exactly how they come… and letting there be perfection in the imperfection.
There are so many ways to approach this that it’s taken me a while to get started. (And I’ve had three false starts already.) Do I talk about including each of my six siblings? The mama (in-law) drama? Planning it almost by myself because Anton had to study for the bar exam? But what’s really different about our story is that it was a shotgun wedding.
We were proto-engaged for over six months, then we got officially engaged and BAM it turns out we are two months along—what?!? Despite our best efforts, our plan to have a family became a bit off schedule.
We had been considering a Fall 2011 or Spring 2012 picnic reception at my parents’ house. We even did some landscaping to prepare during the secret proto-engagement. So, why did we go for a shotgun wedding? Well, there were the legal benefits, and the tax benefits, too (when one of you makes $0, you get a nice big tax refund, which can help pay for a nice big party), but that’s not the only reason. When it comes down to it, we wanted to be married before our daughter’s birth. It was important to us personally, and it also seemed more practical. (I am so glad I didn’t have any postpartum wedding planning!)
We had a civil ceremony a month after our official engagement, in November 2010, and scheduled our religious wedding for January 2011. That way I still had plenty of pregnant time to switch from my OB to an awesome midwife, prep for the birth, and get ready for a baby. A shotgun wedding was the most practical option for us, and that’s why we did it, difficulties and all.
Now, onto the how. A lot of the wedding planning was not particularly “shotgun”—we set our budget and our priorities early on (family/friends, booze, food and funk) and went from there. Invites and reception venue had to be figured out ASAP since we already knew we’d be married in my family church. We had just announced our engagement and now we had to spread the baby and wedding news. We mostly waited, except for close family and friends, until we could announce both.
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