Posts Tagged ‘DIT’

Jan 2012

*Alix & Shawn*

To build on yesterday's conversation about Why A Wedding, we have Alix, whose wedding in LA's Natural History Museum makes me want to hug the world. But what I find particularly fascinating about Alix's Wedding Graduate post is how she talks about figuring out what a marriage is when your parent have been divorced for as long as you can remember. And, taxidermied animals aside, the part of this post that makes me gasp with delight is this line, "The thing is that the experience of getting married is in some ways indescribable. It is as if you walk through this invisible door and something happens, but you can only see it by looking back through the door at where you were before." Because that's how it was for me, too.

From the beginning planning our wedding was strange for me in that the whole idea of marriage had been so foreign my whole life. My parents were divorced before I was one, so I had no memories of them together. While I always believed in commitment, I was not raised with the concept of marriage and for most of my life I did not imagine I would get married.

It wasn’t until the past few years when Shawn and I started attending our friends’ weddings did I begin to see the significance of marriage and actual weddings themselves. When Shawn asked me to marry him it was as if this weight I had been carrying around my whole life without realizing it was lifted from my shoulders. I had found the one person I wanted and he had found me.

So we embarked on planning this event, this huge party tied down to tradition and loaded with emotional significance. Despite my excitement, it was difficult for me at first. While there were the usual stresses of choosing venues and wardrobe and staying within our budget, the hardest part was feeling like I was alone.

I didn’t feel like I had that core group of friends or a close family to help me through the process. It wasn’t that the people close to me were absent, I just didn’t know how to ask them to be a part of the experience with me. Then I found APW and all the intelligent, thoughtful ladies who inspired me and helped me through the process with their own stories. I was no longer alone.

When I started to imagine our wedding I imagined an intimate outdoor affair where we would be surrounded by those closest to us in the midst of nature. This was my dream. Shawn on the other hand was adamant about having an indoor wedding. He warned me about what happens when it rains on outdoor weddings. I proclaimed that it never rains in sunny Los Angeles.

Ultimately, we agreed to have the wedding indoors, in the Natural History Museum. If we weren’t going to be married outside, we were at least going to be married surrounded by taxidermied animals. Needless to say, it poured on the day of our wedding. The skies opened up and let down a flood of water, and in a way it was one of my favorite parts of the day as we still had the fury of nature in the middle of the city. Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Alix & Shawn

Posted in: Wedding Graduates | 28 Comments »

Jan 2012

Wedding Graduates: Jenn & Brandon

*Jenn, Architect/Stationer & Brandon, Data Technician*

Today's wedding graduate post encompasses a single, and hard to accept fact about our weddings: we can't control how we're going to feel, either during them, or after them. Maybe we'll show up and be swept away by radiant joy, maybe things will feel gritty and raw, maybe it will just be a fun party. But today Jenn, she of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Dress (who now has a hot new stationery shop), talks about coming to terms with not adoring (but liking) her wedding after the fact. (And yeah, you know it, this afternoon she's talking about the dress.)

There have been a number of wedding graduates who have spoken before about not loving their weddings. This post is only half like that—I loved my wedding, and yet, here I am five months out, in post-wedding limbo. I'm somewhere between remembering my wedding with joy and fondness, and still caught up in planning and what might-have-been. I imagine there are a tons of recent brides out there like me, not certain how to feel about the day of the wedding.

When I was planning, I was planning. A little intense, yes, but doing otherwise wouldn't have been very me. This is one thing I am at peace with about myself—making things, and then making them complicated appears to be a central tenet of my personality. I threw myself into wedding planning and DIY/DITing with intensity.

I collected blue and white china vases at thrift stores so I could do my own flowers. When I couldn't find enough one weekend, I decided I would buy some porcelain paint and create my own. The vases were totally worth it—my relatives loved that they got a tangible, useful item to take home with them, and they love that I made a bunch of them myself.

You may have read my post about making your own letterpress. I went on to make the rest of the paper goods for the wedding, and a guestbook/scrapbook collection of our old photos.

I became obsessed with the idea of a photobooth wall that people could stick their faces through, and then I became even more obsessed with the problem of transporting it to and from my venue.

My biggest DIY failure (notice I didn't say only failure) were these huge urns I had bought to be an altar backdrop. I painstakingly spray painted branches to stick into them like trees, then made little hanging votives for them and bought LED candles. I thought they would be so cool... except once inside the niches of my venue, they were so small as to be laughable. On any other day I think this would have really bothered me—on the day of the wedding, I giggled to myself, and moved on.

I felt amazing on the day of the wedding. There was no one thunderbolt moment, but I was happy, and Brandon and I got married with as many of our nearest and dearest who could make it in attendance.

Things progressed smoothly, if not flawlessly. Even though I had guests dropping out at the last minute and stage manager/sisterhood-member extraordinaire Rachel had to dash around changing place cards, no one got confused finding their seats. Even though the Reverend had messed something up every time we rehearsed the ceremony, on the day of when it mattered, he got it perfect.**

Despite the fact that my caterer had been duped into buying some bad seafood and had to swap it out last minute for other things to put in the pasta, all the guests enjoyed the food. People were having trouble using the remote and camera I had set up for the photo-wall, but were taking it into their own hands and we got some great photos anyway. The dance floor wasn't packed, but that gave the rest of us more room to move.

So when people asked me how the wedding was after I got back from the honeymoon, it was really upsetting to me to find that my typical response was, "I think it was ok." I had a great time, and I got married. To a man I love. Nothing went wrong. I spent the better part of a year and a half crafting every meticulous detail I could think of. And it all seemed to go beautifully. Why didn't I feel more positively about the wedding?

Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Jenn & Brandon

Posted in: Wedding Graduates | 42 Comments »

Jan 2012

Wordless Wedding: Lauren & Jared

* Lauren, High School English Teacher & Jared, Ph. D. Candidate in Cognitive Psychology * Photographer: Elissa R. Photography (APW Sponsor) * Soundtrack for reading: "Love Should" by Moby *

The Info—Photography: Elissa R. Photography (APW Sponsor) / Venue: Southwest School of Art / Catering: True Flavors / Ceremony Coordinator: Krystle McCollough / Rentals: San Antonio Rentals and Party Planning / Invitations: Samantha Fisk (Lauren's twin sister!) / Floral Design: Uptown Flowers / Wedding Cake: Cathy Young / DJ: Music Connection / Hair: Erin Jackson of Emali Lane Salon / Make-up: Yvette Rosenstein / Ceremony Dress: Allure via Mayfair Bridal / Reception Dress: Nordstrom / Bride's Shoes: Nine West / Tuxedo: Hugo Boss / Groom's Ring: Brent & Jess (APW Sponsor) / Groom's Shoes: Kenneth Cole / Bridesmaid Dresses: Anthropologie

Other cool stuff we should know about: Our secular wedding was officiated by a good friend from college; he did such an amazing job that my uncle, who is currently becoming a Catholic deacon, asked him where his congregation was. As a nod to marriage equality, we included a quote from Massachusetts Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall’s opinion in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health: “Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family.”

Our wedding was very much DIT. Jared crafted our ceremony and vows, and we chose all of the music for the ceremony and reception together. A family friend and I did the calligraphy for the invitations. My creative twin sister designed our invitations from an inspiration board that I made for her. She also painted our table numbers—which were actually various Texas wildflowers—and we built our seating chart together with fabric and corkboard. While these decisions did save us money, the real benefit was that they helped us create a wedding that felt special and unique.

One sentence sum up of the wedding vibe: San Antonio-inspired elegance with a laid-back atmosphere.

Favorite thing about the wedding: The epic dance party at the end. Mere seconds after a very traditional father-daughter dance to Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable,” Madonna’s “Into the Groove” began blaring out of our DJ’s speakers. I lured our guests onto the dance floor with an imaginary lasso and Madge’s opening lines: “Come on…I’m waiting.” From there, the dance floor was packed with friends and family, many of whom I’ve never seen dance before, for the next three hours. We loaded our playlist with 80s classics, Motown, the standards, and a few modern songs, with help from Meg’s “How to DJ Your Wedding with an Ipod” post. The best part about creating your own playlist is that you love every song; the worst part is that, because you love every song, you don’t want to take a break (even when you’re dripping with sweat).

This post includes Sponsors, who are a key part of supporting APW. For more information, see our Directory pages for Elissa R Photography and Brent & Jess.

Posted in: Wedding Graduates, Wordless Weddings | 28 Comments »

Dec 2011

Wordless Wedding: Irene & Bob

* Irene, Non-profit Manager & Bob, Freelance Computer Security Consultant/Ethical Hacker * Photographer: Zachary Hunt (APW Sponsor) * Soundtrack for reading: "Gimme All Your Lovin'" by Whiskey Shivers

The Info—Photography: Zachary Hunt (APW Sponsor) / Venue: Springdale Farm / Food: Provided by East Side King, Franklin's BBQ, and Torchy's Tacos all served on serpentine tables wrapped around a lit up pecan tree / Music: The Inheritance & Whiskey Shivers / Limo Company (haha yeah right): Austin Bike Zoo (handmade multi seat bikes in the shape of insects and reptiles)* / Bride's Dress: The Cotton Bride / Bride's Shoes: Vibram FiveFingers Speed / Groom's Threads: Custom made linen/silk pants that were made in Thailand when we did our pre-honeymoon earlier this year. Shirt was also from Thailand adventure. / Desserts: Rustic display of pies and cobblers and sweet thangs provided by friends

*I was brought to the venue on the serpent being ridden by my father and three brothers and surrounded by 30 members of our bike gang.

Other cool stuff we should know about: I never really considered doing anything traditional, and the traditional elements that came out did so because they naturally made sense for Bob and me. We homemade as much as we could: our invitations were from recycled Whole Food bags; we collected egg shells from our four chickens (who we are obsessed with) over a nine month period and every time we cracked the egg we cracked it so we retained as much of the egg as possible and then dyed those eggshells many different colors and made confetti, candles, votive, strings of eggs, hanging mobiles, and other multi-colored egg-citing decorations; we brought back from Thailand some really cool geodesic lanterns and multi-colored twine balls for Christmas lights that were a big hit; we hung probably 400 feet of multi-colored tulle and ribbon all over the farm from trees and fences that blew in the wind throughout the ceremony and evening; we made a carnival-style light up sign with our names that shone all night and made me smile so big every time I looked at it; we had "flower" girls who wore homemade tutus and "pretzel" boys who wore colored ties around their heads with feathers sticking out who threw colored eggs along the aisles and then smashed them as they marched/danced on, so we had a multi-colored walk to enter the ceremony; we played a made up game that was basically a bastardized version of capture the flag/freeze tag with frisbees and the live Bluegrass band starting and stopping the music; we made a huge Jenga set that I sanded and colored and we used as our guest book and we will have for years to come... can't wait for our kids to use it as blocks; and....

Favorite thing about the wedding: The Bike Posse/Bike Gang. We each got got ready at separate houses. At the departure time, I boarded the Austin Bike Zoo serpent with my father and three brothers, and we had a bunch of our friends (about ten) meet at the house. We rode to a specified meeting corner to connect with Bob and the rest of the gang (another fifteen or so) to form the biggest and best Wedding Bike Gang ever. We all biked the remaining mile as a posse to the farm and joined everyone else, as well as the two Austin Bike Zoo Butterflies and scary red-eyed Bat. It was so wonderful a) to see the other "Bob" bike gang from a distance come over the horizon (my heart fluttered), b) to take over the streets with our mini critical mass, c) to have so many I loved share something that both Bob and I love so much and is such a ginormous part of our lives (biking), and d) to bike down the long mulch path of the farm through fields of okra and other late summer veggies to beautiful scenery, libations, and acoustic music, where everyone else was waiting and clapping and so excited to see us (and vice versa).

One sentence sum up of the wedding vibe: Super homemade, uber-colorful, personality-enhanced, deliciously-tasty, rip-roaring farm showdown with a bonus bike gang.

This post includes Sponsors, who are a key part of supporting APW. For more information, see our Directory page for Zachary Hunt Photography.

Posted in: Wedding Graduates, Wordless Weddings | 19 Comments »

Dec 2011

Wedding Graduates: A & S

*A, Heritage Education/Outreach & S, Media Anthropologist*

Today's wedding graduate post is, like all the wedding graduate posts this week, written from more than a year's perspective on the wedding. It's a lovely thing because the story we tell about our wedding, a year or more into our marriage, is a little different. We talk less about the dress, or the details of the day, and more about the emotional journey that we've been on. A's story, incorporates what she learned about rites of passage working on her PhD in anthropology, and it's meaty stuff. Her discussion of rites of incorporation is exactly what I was discussing when I talked earlier this week about owning our new family holidays. So here is to the journey of creating family.

“Life itself means to separate and to be reunited, to change form and condition, to die and to be reborn. It is to act and to cease, to wait and rest, and then to begin acting again, but in a different way. And there are always new thresholds to cross.”

(Arnold van Gennep, The Rites of Passage, 1960 p.189)

Maybe it’s the word "graduate" that I keep sticking on. With its air of finality, of having passed through the gauntlet of training and preparation (like an 80s movie montage, complete with sweatband) and emerging on the other side newly transformed and accredited. Maybe that’s why I’ve started and not finished this post several times in the last year and a half since we got married. Because we celebrated getting married not just once but a whopping four times, and still I’m not sure if there was some mystical moment where we passed into a new state of being.

So lesson 1 of wedding planning: Getting married is a process, and you might not know when it's over (if it ever is).

Like many couples before us on APW we got married in a series of transatlantic steps. There was the original proposal where I freaked out and said, “Not yet.” There was the second proposal where I asked him and he said, “If you’re sure…” There was the legal wedding complete with fake flowers and wood paneling at our local London registry office after which we giddily toasted with friends at the pub. There was the wonderous, boisterous, big wedding in Cape Cod where we sang and danced with family and friends all around. There was the party back in Oxfordshire where S’s uncle’s band played Tom Jones covers and everyone drank warm ale. And finally, there was the celebration for my parents’ friends in the Bay Area where we ate amazing cheese and introduced the Northern Californians to the joys of mince pies. When we talk about the “year we got married” we literally mean we were getting married all year.

But, lesson 2: The process of getting married wasn’t all about big crowded rooms.

There were little milestones too—hard ones and silly ones and weird sneaky sideways ones.

The time that we got into our first big fight after getting engaged and realized that no one was walking away. There was sitting down in a pub garden and making a "mind-map" (we’re both arts educators) of what we wanted the wedding to feel like (participatory, like-an-anglo-american-village-fete, crafty, relaxed), and making it happen. There was the insanity of organizing our wonderful party together and understanding that I had to trust S to sort a lot of logisitical crap out (and watching him come through).

And, amazingly, there was the process of writing our wedding contract together and using it as a way to talk about our hopes and values as a couple. And later there has been hanging it on our wall to remind us of what we promised to each other, when the going has gotten tough.

And eventually there has been learning to say the words "husband" and "wife" without feeling the need, as Caitlin Moran says, to “temper [them] with invisible quote marks.” Continue reading Wedding Graduates: A & S

Posted in: Wedding Graduates | 31 Comments »

Nov 2011

Wedding Graduates: Hanna & Billy

*Hanna, Theatre Practitioner & Billy, Stage Manager*

Well here we are, back after the long weekend that is American Thanksgiving (hopefully after some naps, eating, and gratitude). Because we knew that a handful of you might be coming back newly engaged (APWers are non-traditional, but lots of you get engaged over the holidays), we thought we would kick off the season with a fabulous, gritty, and deeply emotional wedding. Hanna & Billy's English-wedding-by-way-of-Scotland was shot by Julie Kim, and it is stunning. But the real reason it's stunning has nothing to do with money spent or details crafted. With two theatre people at the helm, it's creative and beautiful and raw. Hanna talks about how their wedding was impractical, but it's actually deeply practical in the why-I-started-APW sense, because it's exactly right for the two of them. They didn't have the wedding they were told they had to have; they dreamed up the wedding they needed. And that's what APW is all about. For those of you newly engaged (or about to be over the holidays) may this help you dream up what you need, whatever form that takes.

There was nothing remotely practical about our wedding. I freely put up my hands and admit that we made it really difficult for ourselves. We knew that many of our choices were irrational, impetuous and hard for others to understand, but then again, if it is true that weddings should be a reflection of a couple at that given moment in time, then our wedding was certainly true to us and the journey we were on.

In fact, it's rather fitting that our guests have now nicknamed it ‘The Battle of the Somme’, favoring war-like adjectives to describe it. Epic, intense, poetic and muddy are a few that often pop up. If truth be told, every time I think about it I become impossibly exhausted, like I am running a marathon. Maybe that’s because I am a newlywed who is about as madly in love as is possible. Maybe it’s because getting our wedding on its feet took the superhuman all-night efforts of us and our closest friends. Or maybe it is because I am now writing this a million miles away from those people. The day after our wedding we packed our bags, dumped our suit and dress and moved half way across the world. Romantic yes, but not practical at all.

Billy and I got married on the 3rd of September 2011, on a remote beach, off the western coast of Scotland. For clarity's sake, neither of us are Scottish; we lived in London, as did virtually every single wedding guest. But for reasons which completely baffled our families, we decided to get married in a place about as remote as they come. For Billy and me, it was never the planning that was tough. Yes we had our fair share of introspection, soul searching and family dramas, but it was always going to be our wedding, done our way. You can neither get married outdoors or write you own vows in England so we upped sticks from London to Scotland where both are legal. We found a humanist celebrant who was happy to let us write the whole ceremony and didn't blink when her first draft was returned vitally unrecognizable. We persuaded fifty people that our remote converted cowshed was not that far from the city, that this would be the ultimate in leaving parties and that they would love to sleep in caravans for the weekend. Sounds like a bloody good adventure right? Well it was, but by God it was a lot of work, and for us it turned out that the wedding itself that was the most challenging and demanding of the whole experience.

We both work in theatre. We work to create beautiful moments, on a budget, for a living. A wedding is not too dissimilar to a theatre production. We were meticulous with planning our setting, lighting, soundscape and script. We knew our blank canvas of a cowshed was in need of some work but we planned its fit up with the uttermost care. We had our game faces on and were totally 100% in control of the task in hand. Then the inevitable happened. We got there, everyone we love arrived and we forgot about our game plan. We were so caught up in spending every last second with our guests that time ran away with us and before we knew it, we were swamped.

As with any theatre production, at some point you will inevitably work into the night to get the show up on its feet; this is a given. Where weddings and theatre diverge (as we quickly learnt) is when the people responsible for setting the stage are also required to remember their lines the next day. It was manic. Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Hanna & Billy

Posted in: Wedding Graduates | 34 Comments »

Posts Tagged ‘DIT’

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