*Christy, Wedding Photographer & James, Student/Wedding Photographer*
We're kicking off this week with a long awaited (by me) wedding graduate post from Christy Tyler. Many of you know Christy as the powerhouse behind Christy Tyler Photography in Chicago. But Christy isn't just a talented photographer, she also (like, well, all of our elves) is a fabulous person. And I've been bugging her for more than a year now to submit the story of her wedding. But then, when I was on book tour, Christy took me in for dinner in Chicago, and I saw pictures of her (insanely hot) wedding dress, and we had a long chat about what happens when your life doesn't turn out quite how you expect it... but somehow... once you can wrap your head around it... is better. So this week we wanted to explore the idea of "Change of Plans" (which is somehow the core and key to wedding planning). What do you do when your life takes an unexpected turn? How can that be magical? (Not to mention the fact that this wedding graduate post is an absolute must-read for anyone struggling with not loving memories of their wedding.)
Whether or not I’d like to admit it—since long ago—in the back of my mind I had a vision of the man I thought I’d marry: college educated, non-smoker, never been married, comes from a middle-class family, and we’d meet in college (like my parents had—obviously). I had a vision of the life we would live… we’d date through college, get engaged in our senior year, get good jobs after school, buy a house, get married, and a year or so later we’d start having kids. This was the life I pictured. I prayed for it even when I was dating guys I thought were "the one" and things weren’t going so well.
Instead, I met the man I would some day marry (we’ll call him James… since that’s his name) when I was least expecting it and definitely not looking for it. I was 25, and contrary to my long-held hope—I was not yet married, I did not have a house, and I did not have any kids on the way. Instead, I had just broken up with the guy that I thought for a long time I would eventually marry (you know the one: we met in college, non-smoker, college educated, middle-class family… see above). I was done with the drama of relationships, and wasn’t looking for anything from anyone. For the first time in my life I wanted to be alone for a bit. I was lost, and I was trying to figure out my life. I was finishing up my second degree, this time in photography, and wanted to focus on me.
Right at that point in my life (and a similar “I’m done with all of it” point in James’ own life), we met. And we did not hit it off. He was an overly confident guy that took it upon himself to play a one-sided version of twenty questions within minutes of introducing himself to me. Somewhere in the middle of quizzing me on my life, background, and age (I had to be 25, he didn’t date girls younger than that “because their brains aren’t fully developed yet.” Yes he said that to me within minutes of meeting me!!), I came to find out that he was recently divorced, a smoker, never graduated from college after completing two years of studies, and was raised by a single mother. This guy was not the guy I had pictured in my head my entire life. And certainly in that moment I did not think he was the guy for me either. But for some reason—by the end of that night—something about him had intrigued me enough that I wanted to know more. He was so different than anyone I knew, and while we had so many differences in our upbringings and backgrounds—it turned out we had a lot in common when it came to our mindsets, beliefs, and priorities in life.
To make an already long story shorter, we began dating that day, and a little over a year after meeting—we were engaged to be married.
At this same point, most of my friends from my hometown (a small town in Wisconsin) and college were married or getting married within the year. They were all buying nice houses before doing so, and saddling up for the life I had always pictured in my head. But not James and me. I was struggling to pay the bills, clawing my way out of some serious credit card debt from college, and starting my photography business while working a full-time job at a law firm downtown. I found myself constantly comparing my life to theirs—comparing what they had achieved to what I had not yet achieved. And I always felt inadequate. Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Christy & James
