Posts Tagged ‘DIY Wedding’

Nov 2012

*Sam, Semi-professional Writer & Stew, Professional Nerd*

We’ve talked a lot about DIY (and DIT) on this site. The good. The not so good. The ambivalent. It’s one of those topics that ends up being surprisingly polarizing. I think maybe because most of the wedding industry seems to have bought into that Batman tagline about it being not about who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you. (Am I the only one who knows that movie by heart? Embarrassing.) Because the next logical step in that thinking is that if you do more for your wedding, your wedding will in turn be more. And that’s a lot of pressure, especially for those of us (raises hand) who are slightly less crafty/maybe just a little bit lazy. Which is why I love Sam & Stew’s grad post today. Because as Sam points out, it’s not really even about what you do or don’t do, what you make or what you buy. What really matters, is the why. Because chances are, whether we choose to DIY or not (and if you fall into the latter camp, may I suggest this brilliant post from a few months ago on choosing not to craft for your wedding?) if our wedding-related decisions come from an authentic place (and if we can just resist the urge to listen to those niggling WIC voices), then the end result will be exactly enough.

—Maddie for Maternity Leave

Last year, in September, I married my dinosaur-for-life on a beautiful morning, in our home country, South Africa. We cried, we laughed, we ate, we danced. It was fab.

But, I feel like I need to come clean before continuing… My name is Sam, and I was a DIY bride.

And, I don’t mean we wrote our own vows. I mean we designed a bespoke monogram, we hand-stamped favour bags, strung-up escort cards, and made beribboned swizzle sticks to match the paper straws in the mason jars. There were hand-tied bouquets, cutesy fabric buttonholes, handmade cookie favours (with hand tied tags), hand-stitched (don’t ask) programs and incredibly complex self-assembled paper invitations, homemade chalkboard menus, carefully collected soda bottles… And you know what? I friggin’ loved it.

We DIYed for a couple of reasons—sometimes, it really was cheaper; it matched the laid-back, slightly wonky feel we wanted for the whole day; it allowed us some control over the finer details (we were planning a wedding in Africa, from London); but mostly—because I love making stuff, and I have a verypatient partner. I find solace in creating things and can happily lose myself in a day (or a year) of gluing, folding, and cutting.

Don’t get me wrong—it wasn’t all paper roses. There were moments (say, half-way through the eighty-ninth invitation) when I literally wanted to set fire to all the craft supplies scattered around our house. But, then there were also other moments. Like the evening me, my husband-to-be, and my future dad-in-law, sat painstakingly ironing (I know—craziness) the pre-folded outer covers of those same invitations in a pokey little room in Wales, watching cr*p TV and generally bonding. It is one of my most treasured and favourite pre-wedding memories.

Because, to me, that’s what the handmade DIYing was about—putting a little piece of ‘me’, of ‘us’ into as much of the wedding ‘stuff’ as we had the energy to do. Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Sam & Stew

Posted in: DIY & DIT, Wedding Graduates | 21 Comments »

Jul 2012

Guerrilla Wedding: Angie & Rohan

* Angela, Pursuit Coordinator & Rohan, Retail Clerk * Photographer: Melejane Latu Motulalo * Soundtrack for reading: “Out On A Limb” by The Los Dos Bros * Venue: Rivertown Revival and their $5 weddings (rad) *

One sentence sum up of the wedding vibe: It was a fun, relaxed, festive, “go with the flow” type of day; we got to play dress up and so did our guests!

Continue reading Guerrilla Wedding: Angie & Rohan

Posted in: Wedding Graduates, Wordless Weddings | 21 Comments »

Jul 2012

Madeline: The Wedding Investment

I’ve had two mini-receptions since I last wrote, one in New York and one in Ohio. Meg says I’m allowed some time to process those before I get to wedding graduate level. Instead, I want to write about a concept that helped me reign in some of the financial panic of the last few months: the Investment Wedding.

A wedding is an investment, of course. That’s what makes it so daunting if, like us, you have barely any assets to funnel into it. I’m just not used to spending money! What helped was finding ways to spend it that felt lasting. Weddings seem so fleeting; I wanted something concrete.

This informed many decisions. I bought a fancy outfit, but all things I’ll wear again. I took an eco-friendly make-up lesson and skipped the makeover. (H/T Meg, Kate Middleton.) We bought Brandon a suit, and now he looks extra-dashing on job interviews.

My concept of investment changed with time. I was sure we wouldn’t miss flowers, because nothing sets off my brain’s “waste of money” alarm like overpriced bouquets that will rot in a week. But APW kept posting DIY tutorials—So cute! So easy!—and I changed my mind. The day before the dinner reception siblings, mother, best high school buddy and I hit up the New York flower district. I took $200 cash, which was both much more than I’d ever imagined spending on blooms, and much less than any WIC budget will tell you is a self-respecting minimum.

Helpful sibling rocks the flower district

Turns out, purchasing armfuls of flowers is fun! Lugging them to Stumptown coffee for a pick-me-up—fun! Filling the bathtub with peonies and watching them open while you pee? Fun! Cramming stems into all the bottles and containers we could find in our apartment—OK, there were times when I worried it was all going to go horribly wrong. Then I took a nap and let my team take over. Fun again! I let my mother deal with setting them up in the restaurant, and it looked amazing. And while I’m pleased about that part, I’m even happier that the process was such a memorable part of the weekend. Turns out money wasn’t the issue at all. It was time that was being invested—time with folks who’d flown hundreds of miles to join the celebration. Continue reading Madeline: The Wedding Investment

Posted in: Planning: Journeys | 47 Comments »

Jul 2012

Wedding Undergraduates: What It’s All For

So last week was adventure week on APW, and holy moly, what an adventure we got (whoopsy!). A pregnancy announcement, two posts on weight, and the announcement of our new P&G partnership, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. So for this week, which is a holiday week here in The States, we’re lightening things up. It’s vignettes week. Short stories about planning, weddings that were planned quickly and easily. Good reads, but stuff you can read on your iPad by the pool (as I hope many of you will get to do, since that’s the staff’s plan). So after our discussion of why we get hitched (or don’t) this morning, we have a post from Erin about temporary wedding planning insanity, and how maybe, just maybe, that’s a perfectly ok thing.

It was as I was frantically rubbing WD40 onto the sixty-seventh dusty mason jar—with two-hundred-some-odd left to scrub—that I said aloud to myself in the empty garage, “What am I doing? What is this all for?”

The easy answer was, I was removing labels from the “antique” canning jars (read: awesome and old, but also covered in dust, rust, and mouse detritus from being in an elderly woman’s basement. $100 for 350 of them had seemed like an incredible deal at the time) with WD40, which Google said was the best way to do it. These were the jars from which our wedding guests would drink their microbrew beer, and would also be filled with wildflowers and scattered around the tables at our reception. Obviously. But they couldn’t be used in their current state, as much as I insisted to my guy that a “wash your own jar” station at our reception would be fun for all ages.

This easy answer was a checkmark on my list of “Stuff To Do For The Wedding,” which I realized in the car that morning was three months away (or 96 days, according to my daily email reminder). THREE MONTHS. SO MANY THINGS TO DO AND PERSONALIZE AND CRAFT AND PLAN. With that thought as motivation, I pulled into the Michael’s parking lot to pick up some stationery for signage and ribbons for escort cards. THREE MONTHS. After the stationery, I stopped by several local stores to find boxes to transport aforementioned mason jars to and fro—something I hadn’t thought of until now—and was met by several disgruntled store managers. Apparently, I’m not the only one in need of lots of free boxes these days. Fifteen minutes later, unscathed and with an armful of boxes, I got back in my car—THREE MONTHS—and promptly had a panic attack.

What is it all for?

When my guy and I got engaged last September (and as a longtime APW reader), I thought I was versed in the dangers of the WIC. I knew that it would be so easy to fall down the rabbit hole and be lured into a world of sparkles and money and wedding fluff. We pledged that we would stay true to ourselves and our relationship as we planned this wedding. In the end it was all about the commitment we were making to each other.

Fast-forward nine months, and here we are, three months away from our big day. Every night, as half-finished projects race through my mind and keep me from sleeping, I have to remind myself that a perfect wedding does not lay the groundwork for a perfect marriage. Every day, as just-one-more-thing-to-plan is uncovered, I have to make a conscious effort to keep my (once) level head. My sanity is threatened by the long-lost relative that just has to be invited, and addressing the envelopes for my own surprise bridal shower, and choosing the perfect first dance song, and making just one more decision that—really, when it comes down to it—will not have an effect on our life together after September 29, 2012. Continue reading Wedding Undergraduates: What It’s All For

Posted in: Planning, Planning, Wedding Undergraduates | 28 Comments »

May 2012

Wedding Graduates: Hannah & David

*Hannah, Marketing and Publicity Intern & David, Law Student*

I’ve been waiting for this post for two years. No joke. Two whole years. Hannah has been reading APW since back in the very early days, and when she got married, the note she sent me about her experience so closely mirrored mine it was eery. Gorgeous pictures? Check. Day full of love? Check. Feeling of being emotionally raw and overwhelmed and Oh My God Is This Right Has Anyone Ever Felt This Way Before Am I Broken? Check, check check! So for me, this post is what no one ever told me about getting married. The thing is, the raw emotion is perfect, in it’s own way, but if it hits you, it’s nice to have a voice in the back of your head telling you, “Normal, this is normal.” So, as we explore the theme of Memory this week, coming off the US’s Memorial Day, let’s start with Hannah’s wedding, explored at two years distance.

I’ve been planning on writing this post since before I got married. I’ve been reading APW since before I met David and I assumed that after reading so many Wedding Graduates and having such reasonable non-WIC expectations. Remember my parents? I was expecting to have a nice party and go on with my life. I thought I’d be able to tell you how the Wedding Zen set in and I felt the love of my family around me and I basked in it and it was amazing.

Nothing anyone said prepared me for what it felt like to get married. I felt raw and shocked, my soul felt different and weird. I was scared. I went back to the B&B and cried myself to sleep because I felt wrenched. No one told me it was going to feel like that. I’ve seen a gazillion pictures of gorgeous glowing brides and no one told me that when your dad gave a speech and you cried it wasn’t a photo op, you were REALLY CRYING and a lot of people were looking at you crying and you were actually sad. I think it’s okay to feel raw and wretched. Marriage is a big deal. It is something to be taken seriously. I felt bad about feels scared and sad and raw and wrenched. I felt really guilty.

None of which is to say that I didn’t love our wedding. I did. It was a gorgeous wedding. When David proposed I was in my ninth month of being unemployed and within weeks my dad lost his job too. Out of economic necessity and my own long-lived devotion to make stuff I crafted and my sisters crafted, and my mother and my friends crafted.

I made the cake topper because I couldn’t afford one and because I made clothespin dolls with my mum as a child; I couldn’t afford a florist so my bridesmaids and friends and I put together made the most beautiful flowers ever; I poured candles for weeks; my maid of honor and my little sister did hours of calligraphy. We didn’t have any money but we had a lot of time and we built our wedding out of nothingness. I made flowered headbands for the flower girls and tote bags for the bridesmaids; David and I hung papel-picado and bistro lights and we swept the barn and my mother and cousin made fresh blueberry chutney and sandwiches on wedding day for us all.

I heard time and time again during wedding planning that the details don’t matter and for some couples maybe they don’t but my sister’s handwriting on my place card, my brother’s band playing, my nephew carrying the ring bowl my mother made, the bridesmaid assembled flowers everywhere, the tissue paper pom-poms hanging from the rafters, the flowered combs in my hair made by my friend who drank a box of Franzia and burnt the hell out of her fingers with a hot glue gun, these things mattered. I can’t even tell you how much they mattered. They felt like a gift and I felt wrapped in the sweetness and the love and the care that had gone into them.* It was a gorgeous wedding and I felt the love. I felt the magical love we are supposed to feel but I also felt like I had been hit by a bus. Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Hannah & David

Posted in: Wedding Graduates | 65 Comments »

May 2012

How To Make A Slightly Fancier, But Still Totally Easy Tablescape