Continue reading From Here To The Stars Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’
03
From Here To The Stars
Feb
2009
Ok, I didn't get all melty and weepy here about the inauguration two weeks ago, because I was too busy getting melty and weepy (and um, drunk) in real life to write about it.* But two weeks after the swearing in, it's starting to sink in enough to write about it. And have you SEEN these pictures of the Obama family?
Continue reading From Here To The Stars
Continue reading From Here To The Stars
23
For Better Or For Worse
Feb
2009
Laura left this comment on today’s post, and I thought it needed to be shared right here, front and center:
I was married in 1979. Our area of the country was hard hit in an economic downturn. My husband and I were at times both without real jobs. We did yardwork for hire, we painted buildings, we grew our own food, etc. It was difficult but it was also a time I would NEVER wish had been different. When you are with someone you love, hardships are lessened and joys are amplified.
Oh, right! Right! This is the whole point!
(And a special note to all the parents reading this blog: I’m so glad you are here. Feel free to share your wise words of wisdom in the comments, no matter how young and tech savvy that seems. They are so good for all of us to hear.)
26
Do Not Lose Sight Of The Goal
Mar
2009
Go read this right now. I was crying by the end. True and smart and exactly how I feel. This is why we get married, not for the matching stationary or the dress or even for the really fun party.
Eyes on the prize.
11
Musings on Marrage
Jun
2009
As our wedding day approaches, I'm finding myself wanting to write about marriage more and more.* To muse on why we do this - why we put ourselves through shoe buying and guest lists and what kind of a dress we want. Because while all this stuff can be both fun and maddening, it's not the point. This wedding planning is just a snippet of our lives, it's a moment of transition between one phase and then next. We're struggling to find our way out of our cocoon, exhilarated and terrified to unfold our new wings.
This snippet on marriage is from a Real Simple article (Febuary 2008) called Love Letters - two letters written by writers Cathi Hanauer and Daniel Jones, after fifteen years of marriage. It is such a honest portrait of what I hope married life will bring us, that I clipped this article and re-read it from time to time. So now, I'm sharing Cathi Hanauer's words with you:
Continue reading Musings on Marrage
This snippet on marriage is from a Real Simple article (Febuary 2008) called Love Letters - two letters written by writers Cathi Hanauer and Daniel Jones, after fifteen years of marriage. It is such a honest portrait of what I hope married life will bring us, that I clipped this article and re-read it from time to time. So now, I'm sharing Cathi Hanauer's words with you:
Continue reading Musings on Marrage
18
Musings On Marriage: Leaps Of Faith
Jun
2009
Reader Lizzie sent me this fantastic passage by Jewish feminist writer Anita Diamant from her book "Pitching My Tent." In this passage she discusses the reasons why she married her husband, and had a wedding - not just courthouse vows. It is so lovely and wise that I had to share:
Why marry? Because marriage publicly affirms the possibility of moving toward another person without reservation. With that momentum, we are propelled toward the center of the heart, toward the center of the universe, and however far that gets us is farther than we'd otherwise go alone. Why marry? Because every wedding enacts a personal connection to the universal story of the human hope for wholeness. Because by stepping into the hyperbarically charged space on the altar (in front of the priest, under the canopy), the bride and groom join in a dance that goes all the way back to the beginning of memory. Getting married is an attempt at turning air into matter, transforming the ineffable workings of the heart into things that are "real": the invitation, the dress, the ring. The words that constitute a wedding are magical incantations of the highest order. In the presence of witnesses and voiced by a vested authority, two people are pronounced a single unit. Ta-da! And by the way, the legal arguments for extending the marriage franchise to queer couples simply acknowledge that gay men and lesbians are members of the human family, complete with photographers, caterers, and the challenge of juggling Thanksgiving between two families of origin. Every wedding is an invocation of peace and wholeness and connection and joy. Good wishes flow from family and friends, through history and community, with wings and prayers and everything that might turn out to be holy in the universe. So that's why Jim and I got married --- to receive that shower of blessings, hoping with all our hearts to make them last."
Continue reading Musings On Marriage: Leaps Of Faith
Why marry? Because marriage publicly affirms the possibility of moving toward another person without reservation. With that momentum, we are propelled toward the center of the heart, toward the center of the universe, and however far that gets us is farther than we'd otherwise go alone. Why marry? Because every wedding enacts a personal connection to the universal story of the human hope for wholeness. Because by stepping into the hyperbarically charged space on the altar (in front of the priest, under the canopy), the bride and groom join in a dance that goes all the way back to the beginning of memory. Getting married is an attempt at turning air into matter, transforming the ineffable workings of the heart into things that are "real": the invitation, the dress, the ring. The words that constitute a wedding are magical incantations of the highest order. In the presence of witnesses and voiced by a vested authority, two people are pronounced a single unit. Ta-da! And by the way, the legal arguments for extending the marriage franchise to queer couples simply acknowledge that gay men and lesbians are members of the human family, complete with photographers, caterers, and the challenge of juggling Thanksgiving between two families of origin. Every wedding is an invocation of peace and wholeness and connection and joy. Good wishes flow from family and friends, through history and community, with wings and prayers and everything that might turn out to be holy in the universe. So that's why Jim and I got married --- to receive that shower of blessings, hoping with all our hearts to make them last."
Continue reading Musings On Marriage: Leaps Of Faith
05
On Paying Attention
Jul
2009
So as we approach the one month point before our wedding (Thursday!) I'm going to be blogging a bit more slowly. It's not so much that we have piles left to do (we really don't) but it's that I want time to pay attention.
It's been really interesting to hear from you guys if you felt a shift in your relationship after getting married, some of you have said emphatically no, some of you have said emphatically yes. I think for us, there will be a change. Our day to day life will obviously stay mostly the same, but here at the one month mark I can feel our relationship changing a little bit at a time, and I want to make sure I'm present for that... just like I want to make sure I'm present for the wedding. So I'll be here on the blog, but maybe three times a week, and maybe not every morning... my posts might be a bit more scattered and surprising. But, hopefully you will stick with me for the ride.
In the meantime, I have to say just how much I'm being inspired by all the past wedding graduates as they grow into their new marriages. There is the adorably pregnant Cate Subrosa wrote about marriage (and you must go read the whole thing): Our dear friend Frog stood up at our wedding and confidently proclaimed, "marriage makes you free." And I have no idea how he knew it, but he was right. For me, anyway, marriage makes me feel free.
And then there is Down To My Soul who's gone from making her wedding dress to making a baby (and being the cutest pregnant woman in all the land)
And East Side Bride negotiating what a partnership means, how sometimes we bring in money and sometimes we allow our creative sides to be supported.
And, and, and... I could go on all day.
But finally, there is Kristina of Lovely Morning who not only helped launch the fantastic 100 Layer Cake after her wedding, but is filling our heads with inspiring visions of what a marriage can be: growing vegetable gardens and having wayward chickens in the kitchen.
Continue reading On Paying Attention
It's been really interesting to hear from you guys if you felt a shift in your relationship after getting married, some of you have said emphatically no, some of you have said emphatically yes. I think for us, there will be a change. Our day to day life will obviously stay mostly the same, but here at the one month mark I can feel our relationship changing a little bit at a time, and I want to make sure I'm present for that... just like I want to make sure I'm present for the wedding. So I'll be here on the blog, but maybe three times a week, and maybe not every morning... my posts might be a bit more scattered and surprising. But, hopefully you will stick with me for the ride.
In the meantime, I have to say just how much I'm being inspired by all the past wedding graduates as they grow into their new marriages. There is the adorably pregnant Cate Subrosa wrote about marriage (and you must go read the whole thing): Our dear friend Frog stood up at our wedding and confidently proclaimed, "marriage makes you free." And I have no idea how he knew it, but he was right. For me, anyway, marriage makes me feel free.
And then there is Down To My Soul who's gone from making her wedding dress to making a baby (and being the cutest pregnant woman in all the land)
And East Side Bride negotiating what a partnership means, how sometimes we bring in money and sometimes we allow our creative sides to be supported.
And, and, and... I could go on all day.
But finally, there is Kristina of Lovely Morning who not only helped launch the fantastic 100 Layer Cake after her wedding, but is filling our heads with inspiring visions of what a marriage can be: growing vegetable gardens and having wayward chickens in the kitchen.
Continue reading On Paying Attention
