Just Married? High Five!
So you just got hitched! Welcome to the other side. Switching from wedding planning to married-being can be slightly disorienting. But not to worry, the APW community is still just as much yours as it was before you got married. In fact, when Meg got back from her honeymoon, she started a section of the site called Reclaiming Wife, which has now expanded to our Marriage & More section. If you’re just back, you can start with her holy-shit-I-just-got-married posts, that read something like this: I am married! Fuck you wedding, I don’t have to plan you anymore! I am blissed out! I have been married for a month, and I still love it! After getting through the fog of glee, you should read about the genesis of Reclaiming Wife (because the word wife has some icky, 50’s connotations, no?).
Career & Marriage
Don’t get me wrong, our career section talks about more than just the intersection of careers with relationships. But it just so happens that balancing careers and marriage in a feminist way (or as I like to call it “fairly”) can be really tricky. And that’s without kids.
We have a wealth of stories on getting married young and broke, and building a life together. Being Broke Doesn’t Break You is one of the best. Here is story that will calm even the most jangled pre-marriage nerves—forget loosing yourself in marriage, you can get fired and travel world trip on your own. But no pressure. Maybe you want to live a life that seems boring, but is really anything but.
Then there is the career and kid’s question. You can start with Meg’s post In Praise of Daycare, read about Contributing Editor Liz’s life as a work from home mom, and then read about being a stay at home (for now) mom. Then then there is Unplugging & Work Life Balance, and you’re off down the rabbit hole.
And finally, are you thinking entrepreneurship might be your thing? Lucky you! We have a whole section.
Kids/ No Kids
Maybe you know exactly where you stand with kids: you want them, you’re happily child free. And then there are the rest of us. Even if you’ve always wanted kids in abstract, the idea of having them in reality can be a little daunting. So let’s dive in. Our goal is to have honest conversations about the decision making process, pregnancy, infertility, motherhood, all of it. Because you have to start somewhere, may I suggest: Marrying the Shit out of Myself? It’s a poignant essay about how the biggest challenges in this whole fertility business have a way of leading us home.
Because if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: you cannot would not should not, walk down the aisle till you’ve had some serious conversations about divorce. To get those conversations started, or if you’re in a bit of a rough patch, may I suggest Secrets Of A Gay Marriage (hint: they didn’t get divorced, in fact, they got re-hitched). And also Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover (and start over again), is empowering shit. And finally, It’s Still Worth It.
Here at APW, we’re big proponents of the idea that managing money is one of the important ways we take care of each other in marriage. While merging finances can be an emotional pain in the ass, we really believe it will continue to pay dividends over time (see what we did there?). Check out Meg’s manifesto on the subject: Marriage as Mini Socialism. If you don’t think merging finances is for you, it’s extra important that you take time to educate yourselves on local laws pertaining to marital division of property (because you might well be legally merging finances without realizing it). Our post Prenups Are So Misunderstood, Not Even Attorney’s Want Them (along with the zillion comments) is a great place to get that conversation started.
But enough about money…
Let's Talk About Sex (baby)
This one speaks for itself. I mean, I hope so.