About a month ago, Rachel emailed me asking if could point her towards any APW advice on shotgun weddings, because, “I think I’m going to have to plan one pretty soon.” And I started grinning. I don’t know if it’s because Rachel used one of my favorite terms EVER, or because one of my favorite girlfriends had a shotgun wedding, that also happened to be one of the most fun weddings I’ve ever attended (highlights included the bride telling me she got her wedding dress at the “d*mn, I got knocked up” wedding dress store, and the 14 year old brother of the groom tearfully announcing the pregnancy to a crowd of onlookers who did not in fact KNOW about the pregnancy). Or maybe it’s just because the wedding world is completely silent on the shotgun wedding, making me think that I’m the only girl around who has gone to them. So, I emailed Rachel back, and asked her if maybe she wanted to write the APW book on pregnant wedding planning, and she agreed. I am, of course thrilled. So today, I bring you Rachel’s first shotgun wedding installment, the “Oh God we’re doing this thing,” edition. And um, when I sent it to intern-Lauren she said, “I think this is one of THE MOST common inspirations for having a wedding and we must run it,” so here we go.
So, I’m afraid I am lacking in wisdom these days; my wisdom regarding shotgun wedding planning may most easily be summed up as TRY NOT TO EVER HAVE ONE! Of course, even the latest technology and the best of plans can fail, and the essence of the shotgun wedding is that it is hurriedly planned, but DAMN!
A week after we got engaged (almost a year after deciding we wanted to marry each other, and 5 months after actually getting rings), we found out I was pregnant. So much for my dream “sunny picnic/laid-back tailgate/backyard-bbq-dressed-up” wedding – outdoors doesn’t really fly in January, even in Southern California.
Our main theme is now “quick, schedule the darn thing, and don’t break the bank” while somehow trying to make the timing work so that as many friends/family can be included as possible, (while not being too close to the bar exam in February). We considered just sticking with the 9/10/11 date we’d wanted, but there is no way I’m planning a wedding post natal!
A couple weeks ago in the comments we had a discussion comparing weddings to baby-making – everyone thinks they can do it with less stress than those who went before. Well, I was – silly me – in that “I won’t be as stressed” category until this mess. And even after we found out, for maybe a week, I thought – it’s cool, we’re doing everything we’d planned on doing, just on a shorter time-line.
And then I had my first breakdown this weekend, over the most inane of things: how late we were to a free Sears engagement photo shoot. I don’t even like Sears. After FH calmed down my sobs – “I know this isn’t about the photos.” “Why are we always late to everything, and how come we can never follow a plan!?!” we rescheduled to an appointment 2 hours later, and ended up with a cute cheesy B&W semi-candid shot. Yeah, that was predictable.
We are almost on the way to a good wedding plan too. I have friends who have offered to help (I still haven’t told everyone I’m expecting, hence no pictures of us yet) with invites, food, sweets, flowers, coordinating, etc. I may even be able to fit into my sister’s dress (lace up back, yes!).
But we still don’t have this scheduled! The date we loved, with the super cheap venue deal, is not an option in the Catholic Church. Saturdays are too expensive (everything cheap we’ve looked at is booked for January), and we’re hoping for a Sunday or weekday at 4pm. A Friday or Monday (MLK day!) or Sunday wedding forces travelers to take a day (or 2) off but we’d save so much money I feel like we have to do it. Unless one of the community centers in the area magically turns out to be available after all. (This “what day do I wed” question may be good for the Ask Team Practical Friday segment…)
My wisdom so far is scarce, but here goes:
1. We have a short list of what’s essential to us at our wedding (Family/Friends, Funk, Booze, Flowers) and really nice to have (Karaoke, Photo booth – he proposed in one).
2. We’re focusing on keeping the budget down and only spending on what we care about. His mom proposed we have dresses made for all my sisters and I had to say no in the nicest way possible (maybe not the nicest, but I have hormones to blame at least).
3. We’re still getting the marriage preparation in; even if it wasn’t a requirement of getting married in the Catholic Church, I would want to. Our priest didn’t even bat an eye when we told him we were expecting.
4. Eating right! Two hard boiled eggs a day, lots of veggies… and folic acid!
That’s it from me for now. Wish I was a little farther along the way with this whole thing, but I’ll keep you updated on my progress. I’m so glad I have APW as a resource to turn to for inspiration and pick-me-up in this rather harrowing time.
Picture: Rachel’s little alien/panda cub baby!
