Yay! You Made It Through the Holidays

couple walking in confetti

This holiday season was a little bittersweet for us. In mid-November we began planning a cross-country to the Bay Area (aka APW territory), meaning we were preparing ourselves for leaving loved ones in the southern US. We’ve moved across the country before (…more than once), so we’re kind of pros, but it’s still nearly impossible to avoid getting a little weepy about it. We spent much of the holidays with different sets of family—our plans included spending the night at three separate parent homes—and watching our favorite holiday films (Love Actually, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Charlie Brown… etc.), while cheers-ing over mimosas or cocoa, depending on age.

This is our ninth holiday season as a couple (and eighth as a married couple). We’ve spent some holidays at home together, some at the homes of friends (especially when living across the country), and others by catching up with family over late lunches or early dinners. We got married pretty early in our relationship, and subsequently found out we had several years of relationship building to do—both between ourselves, and also with the various new members of our new, bigger family.

Which, when you think about it, is the nature of long-term commitment and new family. Part of getting married means you all of a sudden bring on another family as your own, and you have to put in the work of getting to really know one another, forming bonds, and fostering relationships both within and outside of the duo that is your marriage. Some years, this means you end up getting into a big fight with the in-laws that don’t get you. Other years, this means you and your mother-in-law happy-cry about life on the back porch together, while the dudes do the cooking and the child sleeps. Every year in a marriage or long-term commitment brings new lessons, and the holidays usually carry the year’s penultimate lesson.

So now we’re gearing up for life in a new-to-us spot, complete with figuring out the best bike routes, farmer’s markets, and home school-friendly stuff. Here’s hoping your holidays were equally chill, since 2017 is likely going to be a tumultuous year for many of us. I would love to know what you did (and didn’t) learn this holiday season—what worked for you, and what absolutely did not. What relationships you’re so happy to have, and which ones you hope to keep working on it. It’s a process, you guys. We’ll all get there.

How did the holidays go for you? Did you start any new traditions—or did you make sure to observe your favorites from years past?

This Glittery Portland Fête Will Make You Want to Have 3 Weddings, Too

26341935662_0ba4f5603e_o

Jessica, writer & Chintan, engineer

Sum-up of the wedding vibe: A sparkling fusion between the traditional and contemporary—with peacocks and donuts.

Planned budget: $10,000

Actual budget: $9,500

Number of guests: 40 at the reception

26714542241_71a9f075db_o26688998802_bbf52ee8d3_o26368089411_feb6c05e5e_o

Where we allocated the most funds:

It is definitely the gown and the peacock bouquet. I didn’t mind splurging on the gown, as it was something that meant a lot to me. Also, the bouquet wasn’t necessarily the most expensive element in itself but I suppose it was pricey for its purpose. It was actually handmade from a seller on Etsy and had real Swarovski crystals and jewels in it, but I figured since they weren’t real flowers, the bouquet would be a beautiful memento from the wedding to treasure forever.

21557427836_1d02afc680_o26161423900_97951922d8_o26180065733_669fe8405f_o26759211906_8f8be0cfbd_o

Where we allocated the least funds:

Definitely the venue! Having a civil ceremony at a courthouse saved us a lot of money, and so did having the reception at our home.

26690046612_0f41306d10_o26690044662_7caa303169_o26690045692_c2aeec9620_o

What was totally worth it:

The dress! I could not have been happier with how it looked and fit. The fabric used and golden details matched our overall theme so beautifully.

25831458793_776757e7ae_o26511189240_e9e31b53ee_o26511184290_d8dcfb04af_o

A few things that helped us along the way:

Considering that we had an extremely large, traditional wedding in India just a few weeks before our American ceremony, it really helped to put the whole process into perspective for us. The Indian wedding was so much more stressful just due to the size of the celebration, so we know that once we got to our American ceremony, we could just relax and not stress over tiny things.

26511186750_3feb452f6e_o26178914443_9ab9b54357_o-copy26434269915_f9f3612d0e_o

Favorite thing about the wedding:

For an hour in between the ceremony and reception, we took a pedicab tour around downtown Portland. It was time we could just spend together before hosting the party at home. We also got married again (our third time after India and the second at the Portland courthouse!) at Voodoo Doughnut where legal ceremonies are performed with blessings from the “Voodoo gods.”

26511172460_1ed98f6b15_o26511196910_f159b72e9b_o

Anything else we should know:

Prioritize making time to spend with just your partner on your wedding day! After all, that’s what it’s really about.