A Sit-In, And Also Snippets

Well. It’s been a sort of insane week at APW. Three (ok, four) posts with 60gajillion comments, a guest post at Get Rich Slowly, CNN coverage, and all the APW related hustling and bustling I’m doing behind the scenes. Oh, and my job. Because I have one (thanks US health care system).

Last night we were trying to make the bed, well, David was making the bed and I was trying to make the bed, and I just totally lost my sh*t. I was like, “I hate fitted sheets they are the devil, I can’t read all my comments, I’m working all the time, I need a nap and GOD*MN IT I HATE THESE FITTED SHEETS, F*CK.” And then I just sat down on the floor. You know, I had a little sit-in.

So. I thought today maybe I’d just post a few things that I’ve found inspiring around the web, yes? I mean, you guys are way behind reading the 60gajillion comments right? It’s NOT JUST ME, right?

Ok. So:

Let’s start with P and the wedding Mitzvah. You’re going to have to go over to What Possessed Me to get the whole story, and you should give her a hug while you’re there I think, because she may also be having her own sit-in, but let me quote you this magic:

I love this photograph because it transports me to that windswept moment of heightened emotion, but also because it represents the sweetness that weddings seem to inspire in others. All of the distasteful elements of planning a wedding were offset by the fact that getting married somehow made me an undeserving recipient of a wonderful series of mitzvahs – acts of kindness – from friends, family and strangers. Now that I am an ordinary civilian and no longer a bride, I realize how special that time was – and how tender that liminal state.

That liminal state. Yes. That’s the bit I’ll remember forever.

Next, remember Ali & Elroi & Avi and our discussion of family equality? Well, a lot of you asked what Ali & Elroi were doing differently as parents, exactly, so you totally must go read Ali’s post on parenting outside the gender binary on Offbeat Mama. It really startles you into thinking (even if you live in a LGBTQ friendly world), but I was most moved  her discussion of the fact that parenting is always fundamentally the same – even if you’re participating in what might be viewed as radical-gender-theory parenting.

Finally, for the ‘simple-is-sometimes-best’ file, this wedding from 100 Layer Cake. Mostly, I love the brides short kicky dress, which is a white bridesmaids dress, and I think one of you should go buy this now, and send me pictures. Yes? Yes. Pairing it down to basics really works, people. Short dress, sexy heels, feathers in hair? Yee-ow. And it doesn’t exactly hurt that the groom is wearing a tailored suit from London (Men, tailor your suits. No, they don’t come pre-tailored. Yes, you can afford it. No, you can’t afford not to. That’s my public service announcement for the week.)

So that’s it for me. I’m going to go have a beer now. Let’s just say I’m looking forward to vacation in August (more super-cool blog related details coming on that front soon).

If you’re getting married this weekend WE LOVE YOU.

And that’s it till Monday.

Smooch, and also F*ck!,


Photos by: Unknown, Our Labor of Love, Gucio Photography (see more and the couples cute baby here)

Featured Sponsored Content

  • Eliza

    That awesome awesome short dress was already in my “LOVE top 5 best dresses I totally want to get married in” list… and then I saw it in a non-bridal-model setting and !!!!!!!!!

    …which is by way of saying, you may have luck on one of us getting married in that dress! (When I figure out how to get them to ship to Australia. Anyone with notes on how to get US companies to ship to Aus when they don’t normally, let me know! I suspect this is about to prove a problem for me.)

    I really love their whole wedding vibe. Especially the scooter photos, and the groom’s rockin suit. And Meg, big hugs for you in your sit in. Today was a day of multiple sets of stupid-wedding-planning-no-time-ahhhh tears for me; I’m feeling you on this one. Do you have time to take a long bath? Long baths are the best.

    (Now I will go try to catch up with the rest of everything!)

    • Tanya

      If you email me at terremotia (at) gmail (dot) com, you can ship it to me in NYC and I’ll ship it to you in AU (PayPal safe)

  • ddayporter

    bahahah “Smooch, and also F*ck!” not too many things can get a chuckle out of me this early in the morning but you did it! thanks. :)

    also if I may be possibly awk and say, if you’re NOT getting married this weekend but you are somewhere near enough to Fairfax, VA, Jenn and I are meeting up for an in-person hand-off of the traveling dress… thought it might be fun if anyone wants to join us! Firehouse Grill, Fairfax VA (google it), 3pm. tomorrow! some people had expressed interest in joining us so I hope it’s not too weird of me to post this here. :)

    • meg

      Oh right – APW meeting this weekend in Virginia girls! (Rachel – do you want to leave contact info?) otherwise email me and I’ll pass it along.

      • ddayporter

        OH yes, you can email me at rachelandrewsporter at gmail dot com. or just show up! I have no idea how long we’ll be around there but I imagine the more people show up, the longer we’ll hang out! :)

    • j

      “Smooch, and also F*ck!”


    • Sarah

      Me! Me! Me!

      I would LOVE the chance to meet some of you ladies! I’m less than a month from my wedding (!!!) and could definitely use some joy (had my own sit-in last week).

      Meg, I’ll email you in a bit. =)

      • ddayporter

        yay please come! see my email address above if you need more info. :)

        • IRMCK

          I live in DC, but I can’t come this weekend! :(

          Have a great time!

          • ddayporter

            I’m bummed the timing didn’t work out for you, hopefully we can arrange another one in the area sometime!

    • Alyssa


      We should somehow organize these things for other cities.

      With Meg’s blessing, but without her direct involvment unless she wants to. Just so her head doesn’t blow up and go boom.

      • Chelsea

        There’s gotta be a way that we can put the APW facebook page to use for this, right? Maybe Meg could make “discussion” topics for different regions and those of us that live in those areas could take it from there… would be minimal work on her part and then some of us could get together!

        (Not to tell you how to run your facebook page or anything, Meg!)

      • I LOVE this idea! It would be useful in terms of sharing vendors as well as for meeting up. I’d love to give New York City/ Long Island brides a list of some cool AND affordable venues that I scoped out.

      • meg

        And THAT’s why it didn’t get a blog post.

        If someone wants to step up and run this on Facebook for me, let me know. At the moment I don’t have two braincells or two seconds to rub together to make this happen.

        As for venues, I’m hoping to make that happen towards the end of this year-ish, with some web-development magic. i know you guys want it!

        • Alyssa

          See what happens? One of your kids gets soemthing and then suddenly they ALL want it…

          I’ll post to the Facebook to see what we can drum up….

    • Cool! What a great idea, DDay. Wish I could join you ladies but I’m up in NY. Have fun!

    • I am so excited!!!!!! :) Anyone who wants to meet up, please do!

  • Sometimes a “just let it all out” moment is just what we need.

    Also, men in tailored suits…yes.

    • liz


      josh’s suit cost almost as much as my dress to tailor. and hot damn, was it worth it.

  • Meg!!!!! I was feeling the same way recently – as I also work a ‘regular’ job and then run my own business on the side. Couple that with the hubs being unemployed since last November – which was 6 months into our marriage – and you have the perfect mixture of stress for some of those “AHIOEJFSJKAL!” moments as well!

    Thankfully lately I’ve been feeling more of the “Holy crap – if I keep working my butt off my dreams could come true and I think I’m going to make it happen – for real!” type feelings, rather than what I used to have: ‘I”m so overwhelmed, have one million things to do – I can never catch up – and get no sleep EVER – and so you better step away from me hubs or I may lose it!” ha ha

    Anyways – thanks for the post -I’m glad I’m not the only one! Enjoy your weekend! Get some rest & chill out – you deserve it – you hard working chica! (Also – yes, I just couldn’t keep up with all the comments this week!! At some point I had to cut myself off or I would have gotten NOTHING else done outside of the ‘regular job.’ We were super chatty! haha)

    • I totally feel this comment. I have a full-time job, work on my dreams on the side, and my husband is in school but is out for the summer so he has all the time in the world to sleep and do nothing while I’m stressed out most of the time… (I can’t wait until he’s done with school and gets a job so we can share the financial burden!) Anyway, I lose it a lot of the time. :( I’m not proud but it happens.

      • Elissa – yes!!! I used to reeeeeeeeeeally struggle with it – but then my husband had an epiphany (his word – not mine) a few months ago and realized that if I’m constantly working at my own business/dreams and working a regular job on top of it – I should not come home and have to work MORE. So now he handles the dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, car maintenance, etc. He’s basically my house-husband (as we call it now)! :) haha

        I still struggle with him having all the time in the world – while I feel like I have NONE. But I realize he’s doing the best he can to help me and is definitely saving my sanity by taking care of our place. Now it seems I have more difficulty with the situation simply because I feel guilty that I don’t spend more time with him because I’m constantly working. So we have two nights a week that we set aside just for ‘us’ time and that seems to have helped some as well.

        So hang in there! It’s bound to get better! And every once in a while an occassional freak out is necessary (and okay!) – just try not to aim it at your man… :)

  • Hugs, Meg! And nope, not just you, no effing way am I able to read all of those comments…sigh, work deadlines eating up my life.
    Thanks for all of the pretties.

  • Sara

    Here is my public service announcement: You do not have to use fitted sheets! Flat sheets work just as nicely on the bottom as they do on the top. I do not miss fitted sheets and neither will you.

    Thank you for all your hard work. It is much appreciated.

    • Do you have to be skilled at “hospital corners” in order to use the flat sheet as the fitted sheet?’
      Cause if so, I’m a lost cause!

      • Sara

        Absolutely not. Just place it on the bed as you would a top sheet and move on with your life. I guess the only thing that could potentially be problematic is if anyone who sleeps in the bed is a really rambunctious sleeper. If you’re only moderately rambunctious, you should be okay.

  • A-L

    Step away from the computer, relax, have fun, and come back refreshed!

  • Ack, how do I love you so much. This post made me sympathize and then laugh out loud. Hang tight girl, you’ll get through all of it. Also LOVE the short dress and yes, I’m teaching my fiance the value of the Tailored Suit. I’m doing a traditional (but inexpensive) long dress for my ceremony and a short cocktail dress for our reception/celebration a few weeks later. Never thought of looking for bridesmaid dresses, awesome suggestion! Thanks!

  • You have been working overtime dear. You’re completely right, even readers need some down time from emotionally charged posts (even if we agree with the poster, it still can be hard to process the deepness of the content). Lovely post today to wind down a week. Please do take care of yourself, and take a mental rest day when you need to! Your work is much appreciated!

  • Class of 1980

    I wondered how you could possibly read all these comments. It’s impossible. ;)

  • Allison

    Okay now I don’t feel so bad about the string of bad words when I was making the bed on sunday…

  • Amy

    I think I had my own quiet “sit-in” mentally last night. Last minute plans, worries about heat, etc. i did finally hit that “bride zen” spot, where I realized that everything with the wedding is trundling along just fine, no one’s going to care about X being “not perfect”, and all was right in the universe.

    And as a bride getting married this weekend (yey tomorrow!), thanks Meg. We love you, too. And thanks for a site that kept me focused on having a sane wedding. :)

    • Sarah


      Have a lovely lovely wedding day!

  • Marty


    I’m a next-weekend bride. I wanted to thank you for being one of the sanest and sweetest voices I have encountered during this process.

    And don’t feel bad about hating fitted sheets. They suck. I bet it’s easier to do hospital corners with flat sheets.

  • bria leeann

    I spastically love this blog. get drunk fast and sleep hard. Fitted sheets are for mother-in-laws.

  • THANK YOU for posting that wonderful short dress bride picture! I took all the “inspiration” blogs off my reader a while ago when I realized they were making me stabby. And since we recently just decided to say f*ck it and go to the courthouse next June, I’m in need of some simple, short dress ideas. The Jenny Yoo dresses are wonderful! (I wish they didn’t cost $400, but you know).

    • Sara

      I’m another short-dress, courthouse-wedding bride (though, my “courthouse” is a Standesamt in Germany and my wedding is next month.)

      Finding this blog is totally the best thing that could’ve happened to me. “Your wedding is not a photo shoot,” is my mantra. :)

  • “All of the distasteful elements of planning a wedding were offset by the fact that getting married somehow made me an undeserving recipient of a wonderful series of mitzvahs – acts of kindness – from friends, family and strangers.”

    So beautiful. I’ve had moments of deep gratitude like this in the past where I literally cry until I’m exhausted and lack the energy to release another tear. I can’t wait to experience this kind of blessing again at my wedding in 2 weeks!

    Thanks for sharing.

  • liz

    i have a set of expensive sheets from the wedding. and the fitted sheet just puts itself on. like those cars that parallel park by themselves? that’s how these work. or something.

    no but seriously, it makes me want to buy only expensive fitted sheets. and then ikea pillowcases and flat sheets to make up for the cost.

  • I love reading your posts. And I think all of us go through those stress moments where we just need to stop, relax, refresh and then step back into the hectic chaos that is our lives with a thousand and one things to do.

  • LaurenF

    The bridesmaid dress option is a genius one, and one that many brides probably would not even think of; I seriously considered this option before deciding I wanted something more elaborate. For anyone looking for a fairly simple, fairly reasonably-priced gown (of course that’s all relative, especially in the wedding world), this seems to be a great way to go. Even if you want a full-length gown, there are plenty of cute options available. The Dessy Group (www.dessy.com) makes about a million of them, and they all come in white and/or ivory. Personally, I think this one would be pretty fab in ivory: http://www.dessy.com/dresses/lelarose/lx128, and it’s $340 at shopjoielle.com.

    • meg

      Oh, have I not gone over this recently? Maybe we need a dress review. I thought the white bridesmaid dress was a standard APW tip by now :)

      • LaurenF

        As a somewhat recently engaged person who has read lots of (but perhaps not all) your archived posts, I hadn’t come across this idea yet on this blog. It came to me when looking for bridesmaid dresses for my sister. Prior to that, I didn’t even know bridesmaid dresses came in white/ivory (why would I, I guess…I haven’t been a bridesmaid since I was 14). So all of that is to say…yeah, maybe it would be a good idea to do a dress review in a future post! Not as deep as most of the ideas we’ve been tackling lately, but certainly quite practical.

        • Meg P

          Is it just me or does the WIC seem to have a monopoly on labels? Something is either a “Bridal gown” or a “Bridesmaid dress”, and never the twain shall meet…

        • meg

          Herm. Ok. Dress review. Soooo many posts have talked about it, half of the brides have done it.

          Maybe post summer I’ll do some “APW tips” sum ups. Kind of a best of.

  • LaurenF

    Also, regarding sheets (you know, the important stuff!), I personally hate flat sheets and prefer fitted. My flat sheets are sitting in my closet now, and I just use the fitted (I’ve never been a fan of sleeping under sheets anyway). Go figure!

  • I tried that dress on. It’s gorgeous.

  • Alison

    “Men, tailor your suits. No, they don’t come pre-tailored. Yes, you can afford it. No, you can’t afford not to. ”

    I love you Meg!
    You get a gold star for that! Heck, go ahead and take two ’cause you’re cute too.

  • Sophia

    “Men, tailor your suits. No, they don’t come pre-tailored. Yes, you can afford it. No, you can’t afford not to.”

    F*CK YES.

  • Crazy sheets you have there… Hehehe… Love the pictures. Thanks for the post.

  • <3 (easy to read and how I feel about you!)

  • Soon you will be on vacation, everything will be ok, there there. Comments can go unread for a little bit. Have a bourbon. ;D

    I’ve been having a “there’s no time to clean the house” meltdown lately – everything’s underfoot and annoying, and I don’t have 2 seconds to think about it. Sigh.

    • meg

      Oh look! I just read this comment (I cheated, I started at the bottom).

  • Meg, thank you so much for the shout-out! I am honored to appear on your amazing blog. xox