If You Had To Describe APW In An Elevator…

Ok. I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a long time, but was waiting for the right moment to do it. And this feels like the right moment, whhheeee!

I’m starting to get busy figuring out what the next steps for APW. Some of those steps are things like wresting my soul back from bl-gger,* after the Rather Unfortunate Incident. Other steps are things like maybe getting some of APW on real live paper (I so prefer reading things in paper. Sometimes I rub the Sunday New York Times on my face and then lick it), and figuring out how to expand this conversation that we are ostensibly having about weddings into other things. That last step might be a little harder to take, but we live to dream.

So. I was hoping you all might be willing to answer two questions for me in the comments, since I often find that with your outside-my-head view, you see the big picture of what’s going on around here a little better than me.

Questions for your consideration:

  1. Why do you read this blog?
  2. If you had to sum up this blog in one sentence, what would that sentence be?

I could do this over some closed-form survey, and I probably will throw a survey or two at you over the coming months. But I think this will benefit from your magnificent group brain. I’m really interested in hearing from loyal lurkers (yes, you can stay totally anonymous) because I find that you guys often read the site for surprising and thrilling reasons. Also, if you are NOT planning a wedding, could you especially answer these questions? Pretty please? And all you loyal lovely commenters must answer, of course of course of course (smootch).

So really all I can say is please, please, please. It’s a big favor to me, but if it were possible for me to love you from the bottom of my little heart a little more, I would after you do this favor. But it probably isn’t possible. So there is that.

*edited out in case they are WATCHING ME. They are so on notice.

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  • Anonymous

    1) Because it is the only space I have found which manages to join together the doing-making-planning and the incredible emotional heart of having a wedding and then being married and in doing so makes the entirety both simpler and greater than the sum of those two parts…
    2) Sanity in blog form

  • 1) You talk about important things in weddings and marriage.
    2) A Practical Wedding is a wedding blog you can go to, not just as an amazing wedding planning resource (which it is), but for a sigh of relief with the rest of the wedding industry is driving you nuts.

  • polkadotcupcake

    1. i read this blog for perspective, for someone to say the things i feel but can't put into words myself. For something to take to heart and use for life, not just weddings.
    2. This blog is a place for real women, real people, who have real conversations about things that matter, over and above matching, personalised wedding favours.

  • Jo

    1)because I got hooked when I was planning my wedding and now I can't/won't stop reading. (by the way you are the only wedding blog still in my feed…all the others have gone!) Also I like the fact you talk about more than the fluffy stuff in a sensible and normal way.
    2)smart women talking about smart stuff disguised as wedding talk.

  • Kit

    Because I will go live with my love next month, and while I'm in no hurry to get married, it's nice to jot down ideas & solutions and read about different point of views on the matter. I even sent my boyfriend a few posts of yours.
    (ps: you also write very good and sensible posts. you are in my daily readings via feed :-)

  • 1. Because you are an intelligent, thought-provoking woman who expresses themselves incredibly well, who I happened to find because you were blogging about your wedding. But really you are blogging about your life, and I will read your blog no matter what you blog about, because you say stuff that make me email your posts to people saying "Yeh, what she said".
    2. An awesome blog by an awesome person that just happens to be mostly about weddings and what it means to be married, but in an awesome way.

  • Anonymous

    Loyal lurker here…

    Your blog is the only one which doesn't make my chest tight about everyone else's amazing weddings and how mine is not going to measure up. It is almost painstakingly non-judgemental (reading sites like the Knot or even esb give me heartburn sometimes). You also talk about marriage, which most other blogs seem to ignore behind a blizzard of either WIC or alterna-WIC details.

    I enjoyed your posts before you got married, but I must admit I'm enjoying them even more since you got married. To echo the commenters above, there are important life issues being discussed here that are not addressed on other wedding blogs which are more focused on "the details". I appreciate your thoughts and posts on these issues. In fact next week (after my fiancee has recovered from the nightmare end of the school term) I am going to show him your post about things you discussed with your husband and rabbi before marriage and how valuable you both found it. (I suggested "pre-marital counselling" once before and he recoiled.) If you hadn't written that post I would have nothing to guide the discussion that I am hoping to have (in the absence of getting him to come with me to counselling).

  • 1) I found this at the very end of my wedding planning and have continued to follow it because of the marriage related posts and still enjoy reading about weddings.
    2) A wedding blog that chooses to emphasize the importance of the MARRIAGE that is taking place while still acknowledging that the wedding is a special day that requires a lot of thought.

  • I started coming here while I was planning my wedding to help me stay sane and to read about other women who wanted to plan a wedding without losing themselves or their partner to expectations, whatever those might gave been for them. It was a place where I could find my thoughts written out loud. A place I could say, exactly! That is it exactly. It is still that place for me as I figure out what the words wife and marriage mean to me. I love the variety of opinions and the variety of methods used to accomplish the goals of getting married and having a marriage.

    I would describe this site as a place to come to discuss the role of weddings and marriage in our society.

  • I have never commented before, but am a faithful RSS reader :) Here goes…
    1. I read this blog namely because I am engaged (but I started before it was official, shh!) and it is refreshing to step back from the chivari chairs and STDs and things to remember what it's all really for. We're planning a long engagement, so getting caught up in the details doesn't make any sense at all, but hearing advice and getting good things to think about concerning weddings and life afterwards is fantastic to me. This is the best wedding "porn" on my reader, and believe me I have a lot of it :)
    2. Breath of fresh air

  • I have totally put the cart before the horse….BUT. I'm not engaged yet, but I'm highly confident that I'm getting engaged in the near future and I've started a Google Wave about it (hilarious). Anyway, I've been amassing as much information as possible (dresses, flowers, advice, etc). I keep getting more and more links in my "words of wisdom" section from you. I've read your "Promise" post several times; I just discovered your premarital counseling post; I love your wife-word posts. I don't even always agree with you, but I feel like I'm having a good conversation with a friend about this stuff. As someone else said, it really is a breath of fresh air. I like reading about millinery netting and crinoline as much as the next almost-engaged-and-thus-married girl, but I love reading your posts. They make me think…weird for a wedding blog!

  • Anonymous

    Its the only wedding blog that doesn't make me feel inferior :)

  • Anonymous

    Hi, I've been lurking for a while and never commented yet, but felt I should now. I started reading because I was trying to plan a wedding that followed what we wanted and not what everyone 'expected' and was taking a lot of flak for that. Plus, I found it really difficult to find ideas/discussion about how to do your own thing, without it being all about being 'different' for the sake of being different, if that makes sense? We got married 6 weeks ago and it was the best day of our lives and the overwhelming response from our guests was 'that could only have been your wedding – it was so you – we get it now' which is just what we were aiming for. Now we are married, I still come back here (and again, it's the only 'wedding' blog I'm still reading) because like most other people here, despite the fact that our wedding planning took so much time and effort for the last year, it always truly was more about the marriage, than the wedding, and now I enjoy pondering what it means to be married and a wife. In short, it feels like you are going through the same stuff as me and it's nice to hear (read) someone else talk about the things I'm already thinking about. So thanks very much – keep it up :-)

  • I started reading because I was planning my wedding. My wedding was 2 weeks ago and I deleted all the other wedding blogs from my reader, but not yours because nowadays you've started having really interesting conversations about marriage and what it means (and how a conversation about marriage != a conversation about parenting, which THANK YOU).

  • 1)Because I'm planning a wedding and APW is the place that not only inspires me and makes me think about what is important to me in both a wedding day and a lifetime of marriage, but also because it is the one place that tells me on a regular basis "whatever works for you is fine" and "you don't need to have/do X to have 'real' wedding" (and trust me, I need to hear that! Regularly).
    2) A place to hear and discuss weddings, relationships, marriage, being an adult, goals, and life in general with sanity.

  • 1) this is one of the few blogs that tell the "real" story behind weddings and wedding planning. You keep this bride-to-be sane and you make me realize that it's okay to be myself and not try to live up to anyone's expectations.
    2) APW is an amazing wedding blog that allows brides-to-be to get great advice on not only marriage, but life itself.

  • 1) I love that each time I look you're talking about something different that I never would have addressed (even though often I'd have thought about it). Plus you have such an easy writing voice. It's wedding talk, but not as we know it :)
    2) Thoughtful and fresh insights on all the stuff that really matters with weddings and marriage which people often forget.

  • kerstin

    I read because what you write is real — I'm no longer planning a wedding — and haven't been for over a year — but yours is the only wedding blog i continue to read – because you're not about *weddings* (even though you are, sometimes) – you're more about *life* and living one that is true to who we practical brides are – and a couple's wedding is *one* expression of living that true life – marriage is another – and i believe you've transitioned beautifully into discussing marital issues *as well as* weddings. so, to break it down: you're real, you're honest, you bring up really interesting and though provoking content, and you're sassy. i like that. it's entertaining, and i feel like we're friends even though we've never met!
    (2) a lovely respite that encourages self reflection and joy-seeking in wedding planning, wedding doing, marriage, and *life*

  • 1) I read because when I began wedding planning I started drowning myself in blogs and APW seemed to be different from all the rest. I still look at other blogs, for pretty inspiration pictures mostly, but APW always reminds me about the junk that doesn't matter. This junk ranges from my bridesmaid who wants to wear crocs to affirming that it's okay if I don't care about my non-coordinated paper products. And to think about the marriage, the life-time relationship, itself and not just the wedding DAY.
    2)A place for a weary blogged-down bride to catch her breath and clear her head.

  • Mary F.

    1) I am a 53 year old bride-to-be. Yours is one of the few blogs I can count on to really give practical wedding and marriage advise.

    There is no way I am going to start this phase of my life out in huge debt for a one-day event. We are totally in love and we deserve a beautiful wedding to celebrate the significance of this union.

    However, we do not need to shovel tons of money out for "stuff" that someone else has decided is important to a wedding.

    Your blog is a breath of very refreshing air in a wedding world gone mad with details!

    2) One sentence summary: A Practical Wedding is a smart blog for those interested in the true important matters surrounding weddings, marriage and life in general!

  • Anonymous

    1. I read APW because I hate weddings. There, I said it. I thought I hated weddings until I was in the position to plan my own to my loving and devoted partner of 10 years. What I hated was all the "have to" things. You have to wear a veil, you have to have a maid of honor, you have to have special matchbooks. After more than a month of insanity, I stumbled upon Meg and APW – and cried. You mean, I don't have to do any of that stuff? You mean, my wedding can really be about our marriage? You mean, we can have a great party that celebrates our excellent past and better future? And you mean I don't have to do anything I don't want to?! GENIUS!
    I love marriages and I love my soon-to-be husband, but I'm learning to love weddings- of all kinds.

    2. APW is about focusing on the end result of a wedding – a meaningful day and a start of a healthy marriage.

    thanks meg!! Karen

  • dear meg,
    i got married last year. {seems like forever ago!}. i was realistic with my budget and didn't go overboard. i'd like to say that i had the common Midwest wedding {ceremony = church and reception = reception hall/hotel ballroom}. i still have a wedding blog and i even do a little calligraphy on the side for brides & their wedding invitations…so i like to think that i'm still in the loop/in the know w/ the wedding industry. you know what's been pissing me off lately? i see a BEAUTIFUL wedding featured on one of those "big time" wedding blogs and i ooohhh and ahhh all the way thru the post…til i get to the bottom. then i see that her dress was from vera, shoes from jimmy choo, that she had a super expensivo wedding planner and her wedding flowers cost more than my honeymoon did. and, to cap it off, it was a destination wedding in bora bora or something. i mean seriously…its gotten to the point where i feel like my wedding wasn't good enough. i didnt spend spend spend and i absolutely didn't do enough DIY projects {that would have taken $$$$$ and too much time}. And you know, this blog is one of the FEW out there that let brides know that ITS OK to have a morning followed by a light lunch rececption. It's ok to have your wedding in a park and not hire a string orchestra and a limo driver. More brides to be need to hear these practical words. Otherwise, its too easy to feel like you have to spend a lot of $ and have the prettiest wedding just like all the couples featured on the blogs. Its just not about the day…its about the act of committment. love you, love your blog. i'll now go back to lurking :)

  • I was married in October and this is the ONLY wedding blog I continue to follow. Why? Because the way you (Meg and Team Practical) approach and talk about weddings transcends the wedding material hysteria (photo booths! favors! matching stationery and monograms and bridesmaids and..and..!!) and truly gets to the heart of why we put ourselves through this sometimes trying process: love, partnership, faith, soul, commitment and hope for the future.

  • vanessa

    As of August 1st I was no longer planning a wedding. I was now a wife, but I still come here, every. single. day. So to answer your questions:

    1. I read this blog because I love your "voice". You're passionate about your thoughts & what you have to say, you're articulate, you're real, & you help to keep us grounded. I tend to think you have a great sense of humor too. You also ask great questions.

    Most wedding blogs tend to stop seeing us as people, (specifically intelligent women) and just see us as "brides". A lot of times other sites important wedding questions consist of "what are YOU putting in your OOT bags??". Its bullsh*t.

    I also love when you feature real weddings. While over blogs point out the pretty favors, you point out the blissed-out B&G; having the time of their lives. LOVE.

    2. APW is a refreshing dose of sanity in an insane world of wedding planning.

  • Meg

    Well, I'm not planning a wedding – not yet, at least. My boyfriend and I know that's where we're headed. I'm excited to get married to him and have a wedding but we're just not there yet.

    I read this blog because it makes me feel so lucky to have a guy to whom I want to be married. We will have a practical wedding and all this inspiration is like a big warm hug. This site reminds me that a wedding is just that – a wonderful day. It's not something to make ourselves sick over, nor should it send us to the poor house. I love reading your blog and getting a peak into the myriad ways people have chosen to express themselves and their love on their wedding day.

    More than anything, however, I love the way you write about marriage. It's honest and so refreshing.

    Sum up this blog? If you are planning a wedding, this is the place to go if you care more about love than perfection.

  • Anonymous

    1) I read APW every.single.day because, well, I'm planning a wedding. I'm also trying to plan a sane wedding–I love the fact that I can come here and get a daily dose of REALITY. My view on weddings has changed soooo much since I started reading this over a year ago. Let's face it: I'm a perfectionist, and I love details. Since reading this and thinking about our own wedding, (Yes. OUR wedding. Not just MINE), I've come to realize that while we want to have a kick-ass party, we also want to BE MARRIED. That's really it.
    2)APW has given me hope that deep, meaningful conversations CAN BE HAD about weddings. And it doesn't talk down to me or make me feel bad for making certain decisions about our wedding. PARTICULARLY the money aspect of the whole thing…thank you.

  • 1) This is the first site I check in the morning and the last one I check at night. Why? I don't have a sister, but if I did, I like to think she would sound just like APW. This is exactly the kind of I've-been-there-too-you'll-live-through-it conversations I need to hear to balance out the crazy, and not just relating to the wedding crazy, but the life crazy.

    I love that each graduate makes me cry a little and not because I'm overwhelmed with details and the sort of crap that makes every wedding look the same, but because their words are so true and the photos so achingly wonderful that I actually can't wait until it's my turn. Everything here just reaffirms my belief that in the end, it's about the relationships and the marriage.

    2) An antidote for the crazy, frustrating, overwhelming expectations that come with relationships, engagements, weddings, marriage and, well, life.

  • 1. I am neither engaged nor planning a wedding, but in the early stages of sorting out how *I* feel about the whole thing. This involves not only a personalized, feminist, sane, practical wedding, but the same adjectives about a marriage and life together. I think you accomplish that by being open about the issues.
    2. Awesome feminist blog. (I feel like feminist=equalist who isn't afraid of being themselves, no matter what that means).

  • Anonymous

    I read APW because you talk about what is most about a wedding/marriage. You don't try to convince us that if we don't pick THE BEST bakery for our cake (or have a pie display made from grandmother's recipes)that our wedding will be ruined. You don't try to convince us that we have to have a DIY photobooth, four piece string quartet, fake mustaches, or a 20 person bridal party. You remind us that it's ok for our weddings to be ours and no one elses.

  • 1. My wedding day is March 5, 2010. I began reading as wedding research (pretty dresses! lovely cakes!) and now that everything is decided, I've stayed. So when I freak out and start believing what I hear from people who don't understand my wedding, I can come right back to the center.

    2. A forum for discussing wedding theory and ways weddings can become more meaningful in our materialistic culture.

  • i started reading wedding blogs b/c my sister in law is getting married this coming june. i wanted to help her come up with ideas. but all the "pretty/styled" blogs were giving "inspiration" overload, so I stopped reading them. yours is the only one i still follow. it is b/c you write well and i enjoy your personality. and the weddings you showcase make me smile.

    your elevator question is too much for my tired little brain right now–but keep at it!

  • 1) I read this blog because it reminds me that to go with my gut on our wedding. I'm the kind of person that does not care about details, and here that is ok.

    2)This blog is about weddings and their reflection of and relation to life.

  • I'm not engaged or planning a wedding so…

    1a. I first came here as a bridesmaid, looking at the flowers-invitations-omg-pretty blogs and drifting through the wedding part of the internets.

    1b. They're all out of my reader now except you, Peonies and Cate Subrosa. I think the reason I've stayed is mainly because your posts are interesting (especially to a social anthropology student who's been to 4 wedding this year), and you're interesting. The blogs I keep reading – in any genre – are the ones where I feel interested in the author like a friend. I have quite a few Internet bffs who don't know me from a bar of soap, and you and Peonies and Cate are 3 of them :P

    1c. My partner is all 'no we need to finish uni & work and stuff and there's no rush and leave me alone I need to work on my thesis', but I want to be moving forward with him more as partners than the boyfriend and girlfriend thing. This seems to be closely related to the conversations you're having here about marriage – how to be two people together and also yourselves.


    2. um… it's a blog about marriage and weddings, trying not just to talk about weddings but also /how/ we talk about weddings and think about weddings, as real, normal, mostly-sane people, not just as The Bride but in the context of our whole lives.

    PS – I think this blog has probably had a huge difference for how I'll eventually do my own wedding – and it'll match my lifestyle and core beliefs much more closely (I'm just talking about the wedding that's in my head, because I don't know what my partner's thoughts on my ideas are yet – see semi-rant in part 1c).

    PPS – sorry for the essay – I'm writing a thesis atm :P

  • Mollie

    1) I am NOT planning a wedding, though I am on the *brink* of getting engaged. I think I found this site as I was wistfully trolling the internet daydreaming about a fun-picnic-family-reunion wedding, and SO excited to announce to my family/friends that T and I are in this for the long haul. Anyway, I started with The Knot, puked, and somewhere in wedding-blog-land, ended up on your page. Your blog, and a few of the ones you link to, are the only wedding things I read now. I love to think about my future wedding, but even more so, I love to think about my future marriage. You and I think the same, so you're like the cool big sister I can learn from (and if I de-lurk more, talk to)

    2) A Practical Wedding is a place where smart women can talk about weddings, marriage, and how it all fits in to who we are as individuals.

  • I read this blog everyday for perspective. I also read because of all of the amazing women that are featured, and the wisdom that they share. I also just really enjoy your (Meg's) voice and the way you speak about things. I started a wedding blog to help myself through the planning process, but recently decided to end it because a) it was becoming more of a hassle than a help and more importantly, b) I felt like my voice was not coming across in it. (I felt like I was sounding like I only cared about bridesmaid dresses, flowers, and shoes and that is far from the case.) I anonymously stalked APW for a while, posted under my blog name for a hot minute, and now I'm probably going to become a loyal commenter as, well, me.

  • Whoops! I forgot Dana at Broke-Ass Bride – sorry Dana, you're cool too! (And it was actually open in the other tab when I was writing my comment too!)

  • oops, still had my old blog name as my username. Changed it.
    Also, Meg, you might want to go to wordle.com and use all of the user comments here and make a word cloud. Sounds silly, but the words that are used the most often in the comments will really stand out and possibly help you craft a sentence or two that describes APW. (I'm guessing: perspective, marriage, wedding, sanity, women, real, intelligent, honest,)

  • Anonymous

    1-you talk about weddings in the context of actual life. not as this grandiose end-all, be-all event.

    2-you discuss weddings as the means to being married. the marriage is the goal. the wedding and reception are an acknowledgment of reaching that goal.

    3-it's incredibly refreshing

  • MeganEmily

    When I came across APW, I was in the middle of wedding planning hell. I was surrounded by bridal magazines and The Knot-like websites and people asking me all kinds of questions about all kinds of details. Then, on a slow day at work, I came across this blog and it was like I could breathe again. Finally, someone was saying that if I didn't care about it, it didn't matter. It sounds so simple but you have no idea how dramatically it changed my thinking. I read because you saved me from insanity, I read because you remind me that its ok that our table cloths are borrowed from our church and our centerpieces are grocery store flowers in mason jars that came from my mother-in-law's basement, I read when someone looks at me like I'm crazy because my fiance is planning with me, I read when I have a stress-induced freak-out about what still needs to be done, but mostly I read because this "wedding" blog is not about the wedding, its about the people behind the "bride" and "groom" labels, its about their commitment and love for each other, its about their lives together (before and after the wedding), and its about the friends and family that support them. Our wedding is in about a month but I will definitely not stop reading APW, because the wedding is the beginning, not the end.

    Sorry this is so long. : )

  • 1. I read this blog because it's sane — even more so than many of the other blogs that claim to be sane. I also read it because it in no way makes me feel inferior for the wedding that we chose to have; in fact, it makes me proud of my wedding. You somehow manage to balance sanity with wedding planning (and now marriage), and it's quite lovely.

    This is also the only wedding blog I continue to read because you moved on to real life conversations and not about decorating.

    2. A real conversation about weddings and marriage.

    P.S. I hate calling APW a wedding blog because it just has never felt that way to me.

  • 1. Because this is one of, if not the only, place where I feel like I am reading about what the wedding is really about rather than all the stupid crap that we obsess over. And it makes me feel empowered to tell the people who give me their overbearing opinions about my choices that I'm glad that's what they like, but we chose something else because what they like wasn't as important to us and our day. (AND THANK YOU FOR THAT, because that empowerment has been what has gotten me through the first half of our engagment)
    2. The only advice you really need when planning a wedding.

  • Anonymous

    1. This blog mixes wonderful advice for planning a wedding along with all the things that no one ever talks about – aka how to live, love, and what it means to BE married. Your style seems to match that of what I am aiming for – somewhere between the WIC and totally indie, alternative wedding. You tend to find a good middle ground between reality and fantasy. Fantasy weddings aren't bad…just not always practical! So I like the conversation about finding the balance. What is being true to myself and what is listening to the WIC?

    2. A conversation about weddings and marriage that gets down to the nitty gritty of what being married means and how to have a wedding that won't make us crazy (or broke).

  • Amy

    Lurker here! I am a loyal, every day reader and I love your blog so much. Here's why:

    1)I'm not technically engaged yet, but we've been living together for over 2 years and have had many a conversation about getting married. I'm not one of those girls who has been dreaming of her wedding since she was 5, and I started looking around the internets so that when engaged day arrives, I'm not totally clueless about what goes into a wedding. Most of what I found was a bit disturbing. Yours is the only realistic, sensible, and sharp-witted wedding blog I've read where I didn't start feeling nervous about all the stuff I'd have to do some day. Even the self-proclaimed "anti-bride" stuff is still telling you that you must have coordinated antique silverware or some sh-t like that. I want to have a lovely wedding someday, but I cant' stand all the nonsense items and fees the WIC tacks onto your day just b/c it's a "wedding". Things like the very notion of a cake cutting fee, or my salon charging me more than they would to style my hair on any other day of my life, make me engraged! For real, WTF IS THAT? But because I will, of course, eventually have to deal with these things, I read your blog. It's a little island of sanity in a concept gone insane! Plus you link great, affordable, and pretty "wedding elves" and I love seeing what you choose. And your posts are funny and make me laugh. And most importantly, you encourage open dialogue on real issues and often mirror the thoughts in my feminist brain (your list of things to discuss at pre-wedding counseling? THANK YOU). In short, you rock, and keep it up!

    2) APW is a both a wedding resource and a life resource, a feminist blog that acknowledges the importance of your wedding day and the beauty of your bond to your partner, and gives you smart suggestions on how to deal with the challenges you might encounter along the way.

  • 1) I read APW because it is normal, practical, sane and about being a strong woman, strong wife, and contributor to a strong marriage. I'm getting married next October and had my dream of the big white puffy wedding for the longest time. Until my fiance proposed at Fallingwater and suggested we use Frank Lloyd Wright houses for our table numbers. Silly as that sounds, it spun me on my ass because FLW is about simplicity, beautiful lines and NOT big white puffiness. Our wedding should be an appreciation of architecutre that lasts a lifetime, just like our love. So I went on a search for simplicity and found APW. It's the only wedding blog I read. It keeps me sane and grounded and reminds me that I'm more excited to be Matt's wife than his bride.

    2) A blog that will ground you in reality and inspire you to do great things.

  • Anonymous

    1. I read this blog because I don't care much about weddings (though I'm having one in a few months) but I really, really care about marriage. Your posts and the intelligent women in your community have given me the courage to really think about marriage and start conversations with my partner that I otherwise wouldn't have. It's also a great relief to know that there are other feminists out there (yes I said it) who struggle with what it means to be a wife, to have a career, to start a family, etc.
    2) This is a blog about modern relationships seen through the lens of weddings.

  • Anonymous

    I started reading this blog because my best friend was getting married. I was on the prowl for some great ideas. But eventually I found that this space was a place to find calming bits to share. I found it actually calmed me in the wedding planning process as well. And now that she's married… I just can't stop.
    APW is a sigh of relief and clarity in weddingblogland.

  • K

    I read the blog because it's refreshing to see other people who value the marriage more than The Big Day. Two years later, and that doesn't get old.

    APW is a great blog about planning a wedding to start a marriage, not the type of wedding that leaves you in debt, crying in a big heap of tulle over table confetti and mismatched flowers.

  • Anonymous

    I read because I'm hoping to be planning a wedding soon, and I want to know what the heck I'm doing before I have to do it. I want the planning process to go a smoothly as possible. (Yeah, right.)

    APW is a blog about what weddings REALLY should be about. Not the trappings, but the promise.

  • I read this blog because I enjoy your perspective on life, life milestones, and marriage, even when I don't always agree with that perspective. :) My one-sentence summary: "A Practical Wedding is a blog that encourages brides to plan the wedding that suits them, their fiances, and their families, not the wedding that a faceless 'They' says everyone should have."

  • Hi Meg! I've been reading your blog for a long time now (since before I was engaged). I love it because it makes the wedding planning process (and the life you have afterward) seem do-able and infinitely fun, without losing the serious, emotional aspects of both.


  • 1. because after being blinded by so many "photoshoot weddings" i love to read about REAL weddings and see how much more precious they are. how the actual marriage and love between the couples takes p residence over dresses and color schemes.

    2. APW is not just eye candy but honest conversation about love and life, there is a true sense of sanity and community and again reality here that is so so valuable.

  • Anonymous

    1) I started reading this blog before I was planning my wedding because it was a nice place to look at pretty pictures and read stories of really happy and in-love people – 2 things that are definitely missing from my regular NY Times reading. Plus, you throw in nice social commentary about what is wrong with the WIC and just life in general. Now that I'm planning my wedding, I am reading for the same reasons. I don't really feel like I'm stealing any amazing ideas (although there are lots on this lovely blog, it's mostly just that I'm having the most plan wedding possible so I don't get sucked into indie-bride mode), but I feel like it's a nice reprieve from my everyday life.

    2) This blog is for people planning or not-planning a wedding, who want to feel like they are part of an online community of smart, thoughtful people who enjoy parties, family and friends, and lovely fun things!

  • Why do you read this blog?

    Because it's a space away from the crazymaking expectations at every stage of wedding planning. It validates making wedding choices that make you and your partner happy, not to satisfy, impress, or outdo anyone else.

    If you had to sum up this blog in one sentence, what would that sentence be?

    "A Practical Wedding is a wedding blog with its feet firmly planted on the ground."

  • I'm not planning a wedding, but I'm a Creative Director, and read lots and lots of blogs of different types for trends, colors, and general inspiration. As such as I get really tired of seeing the same things over and over- so many weddings where the emphasis is on the DIY details, and there are barely any people in the pictures! APW is a nice breathe of fresh air from the over-thought overly-perfect every detail is handmade as OBVIOUSLY every bride is an accomplished chef, embroider, screen printer, sewer and flower arranger. Aren't we all?? I love the emphasis on paring down, and re-establishing priorities. I also love hearing the words of the brides after the fact! Real people about what worked for them is a nice change! Good luck with all your strategic planning etc!

  • Anonymous

    1)I read this blog because it jibes with my feeling that a wedding is not a magical princess day, but the next step in your life's journey together, it includes same-sex couples, and doesn't fetishise DIY as the ultimate expression of indie-ness.
    2)The good, bad & ugly of formally embarking on a life together.

  • As someone who is not married, or planning on being for a while, I read because I like the open discussion of things that I wouldn't normally talk or think about. Being part of a family where roles and marriage (and roles in marriage) are never discussed, even in the middle of wedding planning, I really appreciate having somewhere to go to thing about these things without having my mother over my shoulder, scolding me for wanting to get married too early (or not getting married at all – depends on the day).
    I especially like the more every-day stuff, and how you translate the values from your life into your wedding, as well as the values discovered through weddings into your day-to-day life.

  • Anonymous

    I am a lurker. I am not married and am not planning a wedding, but read a couple wedding blogs because they make me happy. This is my favorite, it's a good mix of pretty, down to earth, and meaningful. Although lately I have found some of the "reclaiming wife" stuff annoying, I would like to see it expand to include marriage and baby stuff.

  • 1. I read it because I’m engaged, getting married in March, and every single frickin post is relevant/grounding/eye-opening/awesome. Discovered it pretty early on in my engagement (back around February) and it’s been amazing following your journey through engagement to marriage and I’m so excited to see how this new marriage discussion develops. I love the wedding graduate posts, as well as the personal learning experiences that you share with us. The commentariat is also (usually haha) extremely helpful, it’s so great when we get into a big long meaningful discussion inspired by one of your posts, or if not a discussion just sharing our thoughts/experiences. It’s really a great community.

    2. This blog is a place where practical women come together to (escape the WIC and) learn about and discuss what our weddings (and now marriage/wifedom) are really all about, where we’re all learning how to have the most practical and meaningful lives that we can.

  • Anonymous

    I definitely started reading because I am planning a wedding, but this blog is much more than that, and the reason I keep reading. I love the variety between the Graduates (which is incredibly helpful) and the real-life situations that brides/wifes/women have to go through. There was a comment awhile back about the 'crying in the car' post in which someone who got married in the 70's was amazed that women today still go through the same feelings and situations that they did, then. I, however, was amazed that someone who got married in the 70's would post on this blog. And I loved it. This blog discusses concepts that transcend time (how's that for existentialism-ish-ness?) and keeps readers hooked, including yours truly. I'm not sure I would want any of your blog to change.

  • 1. I read this blog because in the island that is being a bride and planning your wedding (sure people are around to help but they are not the executive producer) it is an honest voice that screams, "it will be okay! I promise!" (Especially for those of us who don't want a cheap tiara from Michaels Craft store OR an expensive one from Klienfields bridal)

    It brings the focus back to what a wedding is about, GETTING MARRIED.

    2. A Practical Wedding is a wedding blog that takes the excitement and beauty of a 'designer' wedding, and encourages you to focus on the big picture, not the things you (and your husband and guests) will forget after twenty years.

  • I think the little review I wrote in my blog yesterday will summarize why I read APW. :)

    A Practical Wedding

    This blog seems to be a voice of sanity and level-headedness in some ways, but is still full of creativity and fun. Some of the entries really make me think (the pre-marital counseling one is intriguing), and I really like reading the wedding updates (the suggestions and planning advice is helpful, and the photos are giving me ideas for our photographer).

  • 1. I read this blog because during a spree of discovering wedding blogs yours came up so often on other people's I had to come see. Your blog is a thought provoking inspiration for me, it inspired me to create my own (which is sadly neglected), and it puts words to important things that don't always get discussed.
    2. It's just awesome, go read.

  • Anonymous

    another reason i read: this is the ONLY wedding blog i can send to my husband that he *actually reads* and doesn't feel like puking upon first sight! and he follows up on the content with conversation! yay!

  • Anonymous

    I'm not planning a wedding.

    1) To find out how many other people watch Platinum Weddings and get the feeling the Apocalpyse must be just around the corner. ;-)

    2) A conversation about our values surrounding weddings.

  • Rachel

    1- Because a lot of wedding blogs talk just have pretty pictures of weddings that are "DYI" because the bride was on a budget despite her Monique Lhullier gown, while you focus on the important stuff: the pure joy of getting and being married!
    2- A Practical Wedding is exactly what the name suggests: practical, because, in the end, if you can't have a practical wedding, what are the odds you're going to have a practical marriage?

  • De-lurking to say: I am not planning a wedding. I have been with my partner for 6 years, and we are planning to get married eventually, but not for a few more years.

    That being said, your blog is probably my very favorite blog on the whole internet. Crazy, right?

    I started reading your blog when my best friend got engaged, over the summer, and as best friend & best lady I knew she would not be very invested in planning. (Found Emily, her photographer, through this blog! Hi Emily!) Her wedding was (beautifully) in October, and I still get excited every time you have a new post up.

    I enjoy reading from wedding graduates and seeing pretty pictures, but lots of other blogs have that and it's not what keeps bringing me back. I *love* your perspective, Meg. I love the way you wrestle with these big ideas like weddings, marriage, marriage equality, the WIC, expectations, therapy, wife and husband-dom. All while keeping your own identity and gender-awareness at the forefront.

    The truth is, there is a little part of me that goes *eee* when I see a pretty bride and I am still the little girl pumped about the idea of getting married. I'm also very much a feminist, and it's really hard to find a place where those two pieces don't conflict with each other. (Not because they naturally conflict, but because the dialogue we have built around weddings, embodied say in The Knot, is, in my opinion, often very negative and problematic.) Here, they have found a balance. You can be a thinking, questioning bride here.

    And you're so honest with us about your thought process. And you're so articulate. And you didn't give a damn about favors. And this comment is waaaaay to long.

    Thank you, Meg. I would buy your book in hardcover.

  • Sara H

    1) It's the only wedding blog I still read and you saved me from my insanity during wedding planning. Plus, when I have reflected on the wedding planning process, I feel like it can apply to so many other things that women can get all too wrapped up in and competitive about (raising children and home decorating). While you do not talk about these things like other marriage blogs (Thank you for NOT doing this!), I am hoping that by continuing to think about what makes sense and staying grounded each day, I will be able to enter into those phases of my life with more clarity and mindfulness whenever they may come.

    2) A blog that keeps a balanced perspective on life and encourages growth through healthy discussion.

  • 1. To get my sanity back after thinking "I want to keep up with the Jones's."
    2. Just do what you do, be true to yourself, don't worry about others.

    I think your blog isn't about weddings it is about being practical. It manifested in wedding planning because that is what you were doing at the time, but it has since expanded to newly engaged life which is what you are doing now. Your blog can be anything (just please keep it practical, please).

  • Anonymous

    I have been loyally lurking for about 6 months, and I am not engaged, but I am living with my boyfriend of several years. I read APW every day.

    I don't know how I found this blog, but when I did, I stayed because:

    I am a feminist, and I love this conversation.

    I have been deeply skeptical of both weddings and marriage since my parents divorced over a dozen years
    ago, and this blog gives me hope and excitement that
    marriages can be beautiful, and weddings can be authentic.

    The wedding graduates (including Meg) are all gorgeous and inspiring.

    APW elevator pitch: The perfect mix of cry-at-your-desk emotional insight and giddy-to-get-married excitement.

  • 1. Because I usually come away thinking about something new or in a novel way, and my brain needs that kind of food these days. It doesn't really matter whether it's about weddings (or even marriage) for me, I'm well into my marriage now… It makes me happy that many things you write bring up much larger issues.

    2. Echoing what a lot of other commenters have mentioned: it's a refreshing dose of down-to-earth sanity in a cookie-cutter, popularity contest world.

    Good luck with your brainstorms and plans for big next steps. I'm always here if you want to bounce ideas around!

  • 1. i discovered this blog in the midst of my own wedding planning process this last year, and found your voice to be lighthearted, fun, sane, and on par with how i felt about wedding planning and all its ups and downs. i also love hearing your take and being able to identify with your thoughts on being a newlywed, marriage, and day to day life post-nuptials.
    2. APW is a soundboard for anyone who has ever had anything to do with weddings, marriage, and everything else in between.

  • Shannon

    1. I'm not getting married anytime soon. I'm not even in a relationship at the moment. But someday I hope to meet the man I want to spend the rest of my life with (or maybe I already met him, but he just needs to decide he wants to spend the rest of his life with me). BUT, if and when I do get married, I want to keep my eyes on the fact that the wedding is just one day. It's the MARRIAGE that matters.

    2. Your wedding and marriage is about what's right for Y-O-U, not about what the industry or anyone else is telling you to do.

  • Lindsey

    1 – I read this blog because I am getting married soon and love to hear real honest advice from people who share the same sentiments as I do.
    2 – A Practical Wedding is one of the few balanced 'wedding' blogs that takes all aspects of marriage and weddings into consideration. And my sanity.

  • As a lurker who really loves your blog, I felt compelled to answer…
    1. I read APW because it always gets to the heart of crazy wedding and marriage matters. You say how everyone feels, but no one wants to be the first to admit.
    2. An honest and witty blog about weddings, marriage, and life.

  • Since you asked specifically for lurkers, out I shall pop!

    1)I started reading sometime in the middle of planning our wedding. Even after I unsubscribed from all wedding blogs with months still to go, I kept yours because it was the only one that actually made me feel BETTER about the whole process. You always remind me of the why, instead of the how, if that makes sense.

    I got married around the same time as you and I've stuck around because I am really digging what you're doing. We're the first in our peer group to get married and coming here feels like talking to a friend about all the big questions (a totally awesome friend who isn't going to be horrified when you say that yes, you're a feminist and yes, you're also married).

    2) A feminist blog about weddings and marriage that reminds you why you're getting married in the first place.

  • 1. Why do you read this blog?
    You are one of the few bloggers who talk about why people get married and the real reasons behind weddings. A lot of wedding blogs get caught up in the day details and pretty images not the love and family elements.
    2. If you had to sum up this blog in one sentence, what would that sentence be?
    Wedding/Marriage blog with sanity and reality checks.

  • I read this blog because you talk about the emotional transition of marriage that few people address.

  • 1. I read APW because Meg has the ability to succinctly, and beautifully, bring the conversation back to marriage, while inspiring me to plan our celebration to be a gloriously joyful event of our choosing. Oh, and Meg is hilarious and makes me grin all the time.

    2. APW is an eye-opening, non-conforming, un-apologetic inspirational wedding and marriage resource for those seeking REAL and SANE advice while seeking refuge from the glossy bridal magazines.

  • 1. Because even though I have awesome friends and an awesome fiance I often feel very alone in the wedding planning process and this blog helps me connect to others going through and thinking about similar issues. It helps me remember to be true to myself when everything I see in other wedding media or hear from my family is too negative to handle any more.
    2. A constant reminder to stay true to yourself and to evaluate and think about your life as you're living it.

  • 1) I read this blog because it's a reminder of the important things in a wedding, specifically the marriage that follows. It gives me permission to do my wedding contradictory to societal expectation.
    2) APW is a blog focusing on the holistic life of a person planning a wedding.

  • Anonymous

    1. I'm in the midst of planning our wedding, and I stumbeled across this blog in my search for inspiration. I was looking for pretty pictures, and I ended up being blown away by your writing and thoughtfulness. I knew my fiance and I were not interested in a typical WIC wedding, and we're not really the "indie" types either, so inspiration was hard to come by. We're now just following our guts and doing what seems right to us (wedding in a park followed by dinner in a nice restaurant). Some people (my mother) think it's not enough; other people (his mother) think it's too much, but I know it's just the right thing for us. Reading this blog has given me courage, both for the wedding celebration and the marriage that comes after.

    2. It's a blog that treats brides/wives-to-be as real women who approach their relationships and weddings with intelligence, lots of thought, and a sense of humor.

  • i found APW pretty early on in planning (praise god). it served as a source of inspiration and dose of pretty pictures, but more importantly as a grounding force. APW reminded me to trust my decisions, and focus on our wedding as the first day of our marriage. (The real "meat" of why we do this anyway!) APW kept me sane even when my now-husband couldn't. APW was like my big sister and best friend and mom, all rolled into one.

    and now (post wedding) it kind of still is. i come here to be reminded that it's ok if marriage is big and scary and hard.

    i'd sum up APW as the perfect balance between wedding porn, and the meat of what weddings and marriage are really all about.

    Thanks, meg, the big sister i've never met.

  • I am not planning a wedding at the moment, but I'm sure at some point in my life I will be! I am a very practical, down to earth person and I like to read about how like-minded folks have handled major life events like getting married without losing their minds, blowing their budgets, etc. I like that this blog provides a realistic perspective.

  • Erika

    Dedicated non-engaged-non-wedding-planning-but-deeply-in-love Lurker here.

    1) I read your blog to get one of my daily doses of feminism. (Oh, and because I love reading about awesome people celebrating love and commitment, of course)

    2) What Jo said: "Smart women talking about smart stuff disguised as wedding talk."

    But also, this is you sharing a very thoughtful and honest narration of your efforts to stay true to yourself in life; and it helps me remember to stay true and honest to myself as I negotiate different events and choices in my life.

  • 1. I found your blog while I was planning my wedding (I got married a few weeks later) and fell in love with your level-headed advice. I needed to hear it and wasn't getting it on a regular basis from any other source. I still read it because we're both married now, so it's still in line with my interests: how to be a good wife WITHOUT all the baggage of children, etc., and not feel guilty about saving for a magnificent vacation to Europe instead of banking it for a bigger house, kid planning, etc.

    2. A Practical Wedding will help you figure out what it is you want out of your wedding, how you can shape it to be a reflection of you and your soon-to-be husband, and then how to settle into life as a modern married woman.

  • Anonymous

    1) It makes me feel like part of a community of smart, interesting women who like being women (i.e. not the establishments definition of a "feminist"), but are strong, confident and interesting. On top of that… Meg is just a great writer who knows how to put what I'm feeling into words!
    2) A breath of fresh air.

  • Anne

    I found this blog upon becoming engaged, but I read this blog because it reminds me to keep many of those big life events in perspective. (Not just weddings!) I read Alyssa's recent wedding graduate post on the morning I was leaving for my Grandfather's funeral. There was so much drama in the logistics of getting all family members to the funeral, but Alyssa's post, like so many others, reminded me to focus on the important pieces, like love and family memories.

  • 1. I read this blog because it discusses real issues about marriage and manages to still offer wedding inspiration without being confined to either traditional weddingbot stereotypes or overusing obnoxious labels like "hipster" or "indie."
    2. A place for real people to discuss real issues about weddings and marriage in a practical, sane and refreshing forum.

  • 1.) its honest and eclectic. its snarky and wistful.
    2.) APW provides a safe place for the anti-bride who loves being a bride and challenges her to write her own rules.

  • This blog keeps me focused about what is really important about getting married…besides matching chivari chairs, head bands and succulent centerpieces.

    This is the very first wedding blog I come to when I'm doing the rounds…because it gives me perspective and it's a place where we can have intelligent conversations (or at least try) about not only weddings, but marriage as well.

  • Anonymous

    I'm planning a wedding and like how this site is so sane and about meaningful things. Many wedding bloggers have a good eye for *pretty* but few are good writers, as Meg is. More than that, Meg allows us to tap into the wisdom and spirituality that our generation is seeking even if we don't admit to it – the deeper meanings that I often find inacessible due to that realm feeling like it is staked out by old men or religious devotees or cheesy people. I would love for her perspecitve to go big. Maybe she could be a new, younger Oprah, being entertaining but with an undercurrent of wisdom that continuously challenges. Go Meg! (from a lurker – first-time commenter)

  • Hellloooo! I have not commented before, so perhaps I fall under the category of loyal lurker :)

    1) I started reading a few months before my own wedding. I got married on Aug. 1 of this year, and I am still a loyal lurker. I think this is because there is less focus on the event and more on what the event represents in our lives. It's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage. Many wedding discussions leave out the part about, you know, actually being married. It's so much more than a wedding.

    Also, you acknowledge that there is no one way to have an awesome wedding. No judgmentalism.

    2)Real people with real lives getting married with substance.

  • Why do you read this blog? If you had to sum up this blog in one sentence, what would that sentence be?

    I am totally another one of these loyal lurkers, you can ask my friends. Actually, it's pretty odd that I continue to follow any wedding and marriage blogs–I'm nineteen, I don't even really have any dating prospects currently, and the idea of getting married NOW is understandably freaking me out some. Nevertheless, I used to be interested in getting involved in the wedding industry or event planning, but I realized–as I always do whenever I consider something like this–that the heart of it is what matters, and definitely not working some tight aesthetic scheme or blowing a huge budget. I guess I initially discovered APW for the prettiness, but I stayed for the richness, the sanity, the sincerity of it. I am academically interested in weddings, marriage, and family life–part because they are naturally so dear to my heart–and I greatly enjoy reading the "reports" from those who are beyond my years, chiseling these things out for themselves. Weddings need to be redefined. Marriage must be, too. I glean a lot of strength, self-confidence, and wisdom from you ladies–and even if I am a bit more obsessed with weddings/marriage/babiessss than I "ought" to be this early in the game, I think I have a more clear perspective on it than many, many of my peers. It's not all rosy and sweet and warm always, nor is it harsh and wont-of-being-avoided. I read this blog because it proves that there is a middle ground between modern-day cynicism towards marriage and the romantic glamorization of weddings. I find each day that reality is not cruel, but sublime, as Thoreau says. And weddings and marriages aren't perfect, but they are transformative, transcendent, and much larger than ourselves.

  • Anonymous

    1) I'm in that pre-engagement stage you mentioned a while ago. I started reading your blog because it had creative, interesting ideas about weddings – both in the intellectual sense and the crafty, let's make stuff sense.

    Now that the wedding's over, I keep reading because I enjoy the wisdom you (& the contributors & commenters) bring to the topic of marriage and wife-ness for young women who are navigating new assumptions in what marriage can be for us. We don't have former generations as models for how to create our partnerships… so we have to figure it out together?

    that said, I like that you keep yanking it back to what's real. You don't let things get too extreme on either side of a debate, which is refreshing, strangely!

    2) wedding planning resource/network hub for sane wedblaaagland, but also a place to breathe and remember how much it's about the marriage

    p.s. my favorite feature is the wedding graduates

  • 1* I read this blog because it reminds me about what love is really about. With all the running around and chaos in my life, it reminds me that it's those little moments in between those busy times that matter the most to me. I am in a long distance relationship and even though distance is our greatest obstacle, it's not an obstacle at all when love is there.
    2* A Practical Wedding is about the simple things about love that matter.


  • I began reading when I was planning my wedding- looking for a way to do it but stay true to myself. I continure to read because… well I suppose in a world of bad reality tv that would laed us to believe that $100k is a budget wedding it's nice to know that real women keep on keepin' on. Plus, it was nice to see all the nice things people said about our wedding.

  • Caroline

    1. I read (and lurk) because it provides a realistic view of weddings, wedding planning, as well as all the social and emotional things associated with the wedding and transition into marriage. Also, a lot of the advice is applicable to all kids of entertaining, which is great for those of us who are nowhere near planning any weddings!

    2. A down-to-earth look at the transition into marriage.

  • 1. Your blog is the only one I read that seems down to earth and doesn't make me feel like less than a bride because we're not spending a crap ton of money on it.
    2. A wedding blog that makes sense.

  • Ellie

    1.) Because you are somehow both the anti-WIC and anti-Blog and anti-anti-Bride, which in the real world, I think we just call "sane". Because you encourage us to be ourselves and there is no right or wrong way to do this wedding thing. (Especially because most of us know there is no right or wrong way to live our lives, the fact that sometimes we get so wrapped up in the "right" way to have a wedding is ridiculous.)
    2.) It's a wedding blog that just makes SENSE.

  • I started reading APW towards the end of our engagement and in the midst of my BIC-mania. I continue to read for the thoughtful and interesting daily prompts, for the chance to see and enjoy how other brides completed their wedding without strangling someone (hopefully) and for just the fun dose of reality and sensible advice that Meg provides. Plus, one of the first blogs that I remember really sticking out for me was about marriage equality. As the best friend of a former Miss Gay Texas and someone who’d hoping to emphasize her master’s on social justice for the GLBT community, this really struck home. A wedding blog that talks about MARRIAGE? And not just regular marriage, but marriage for EVERYONE? I’m so in. (Plus every time I see “Team Practical” I say “Go, Team Practical!” in my head, ala Venture Brothers and it makes me smile.)
    I can’t do a sentence because I’m long winded AND I’m like comment #1120 or something and everyone has already done it better and more succinctly. Twice.
    But I am fond of crazy analogies. Reading wedding blogs as a bride-to-be is often like standing in the middle of the cafeteria in high school as a new student, holding your tray and trying to figure out where to sit. You can sit with the high-pitched, squealing girls who have all the best clothes and the latest accessories …you can pick the exclusive indie girls who follow a trend and pass it around endlessly until it’s picked up by the rich girls, at which the indie girls will then stop doing it and complain about someone biting their style…you can even sit by yourself and feel really lonely and unsure. OR, you can sit with the table of really cool and normal girls, none of who look alike and none of who are too loud or unfriendly, who automatically scoot over on the bench to make room for you, ask you your name and offer you a french fry. That’s APW.

  • Anonymous

    I'm a loyal lurker as well, and actually didn't discover APW until *after* I got married this past August. I now read it every. single. day, because it's a community of smart, loving women discussing some of the most important stuff of life. I've especially *really* appreciated your posts and the resulting discussions about what it means to be a wife, as it's something I've been trying to figure out since getting married. And because your blog attracts this group of smart, articulate women, I've found several other blogs that I now read regularly. I'm really interested to see what direction your blog goes in, and am quite certain that it will continue to be relevant to me; the things you go through and talk about seem to be the same things that I go through and don't have a real-life community of women with whom to talk about those things.

    As for APW in a sentence, I'm going to copy off of a previous poster and agree that it's a community of women discussing life, but disguised as wedding-talk.

  • Why do you read this blog?

    As I was planning a wedding and feeling overwhelmed by Expectations Regarding The Way A Wedding Should Be, I stumbled upon this blog and immediately felt like I could breathe deeply. Meg's sane-perspective and this community of like-minded people showed me how much freedom there really is in planning a wedding. I questioned what I was told was "essential" and decided to say "no" to some things, improvise some things in a creative way, and enthusiastically (and without apology) say "yes" to other things. I love how there aren't legalistic definitions on APW about what a "budget wedding" is, but instead an emphasis on meaningful and practical weddings that reflect what is important to the couple. This grace-filled respect for difference carries over into discussions about marriage and life, and I plan on sticking around and being challenged by this smart community of women.

    If you had to sum up this blog in one sentence, what would that sentence be?

    APW is a challenging reminder from a wise, funny, and honest blog-sister to focus on what is important and make intentional choices that are authentic for you and your partner in weddings, marriage, and life.

  • Anonymous

    1) I'm not engaged, and I am not going to be anytime soon but I'm fascinated by weddings and marriage. I'm not there yet myself, but reading about those who are has helped me to understand my own feelings about relationships, marriage, and the like. I also can't help but love the photos and real weddings. Seeing the joy in those photos can really brighten up my day.
    2) Smart conversation about real life, plus lots of gorgeous photos.

  • 1. This blog offers wedding advice that I find relatable, authentic and grounded in values similar to my own, which is refreshing in the wedding world!
    2. "The best resource I've found for helping brides (and couples) navigate the wedding planning and marriage-preparation process without losing their sanity or life-savings."

    Thanks, Meg, for this awesome contribution to the wedding blogosphere!

  • Jess

    I'm not planning a wedding, but I'm in a relationship that has an "endgame" so to speak. We're not ready for engagement yet, but we've talked about it. We're together for life, but we want to enjoy every stage of our relationship as it is.

    In any event, I love reading smart people talking about interesting things, especially when it's apparent that these smart people have no interest in reducing things down to a sound bite, or ignoring the inherent duality/dissonance of life.

    Honestly, I've had more trouble reconciling my feminist upbringing with my more traditional tendencies, so it's incredibly refreshing to have someone writing on what being a Wife means. A lot of times, it feels like I'm failing as a feminist when I think about how much I want to be a wife, not simply a partner. Shouldn't I insist on being a non-gender specific partner, hell-bent on perfect equality? Well, maybe not.

    This blog always has something interesting to say about the subject of Wifery, and I definitely appreciate the marriage (har har) between the lighter side of being wed versus the heavier thoughts on marriage, relationships, and real life.

    Dearie, your wedding wasn't Martha Stewart porno for brides. It was unique, heartfelt and had what is missing from so many social rituals these days: a soul.

    So, in my very long elevator ride, I guess I'd just have to say this: it's heart, moxie, gumption, common sense and love running this blog. It's inspiring to see, even if I'm not personally wrestling with vendors or my future mother-in-law at the moment.

  • Answers

    1). I am planning a wedding. I like hearing advice from bridal graduates and I love the daily dose of reality.

    2). Fresh no B.S. perspective on the wedding industry

    * an additional note, I am interested on the discussion and examination of a marriage without/before children. I think the biggest issue may be to remind ourselves that we deserve to have time for ourselves everyday. Even when we have kids and a husband

  • Long time lurker, first comment. I started reading your site when it first started – you had been writing maybe a few months? – because you had such a voice, one that I needed to here. You are a phenomenal writer, and the posts you write are my favorite (although there is always good advice in the "wedding graduates" series). You made me feel like it was okay to be intelligent, interfaith, and an individual, and want to have a wedding at the same time. Having a wedding according to your website didn't make me ditsy or money-hungry, it made me celebration-happy. You also have such a big heart and you've made it a point to start dialogues, not merely to present your (albeit wonderful) vision of the world. Thanks for this website. It must be time-consuming.

  • fleda

    1. I'm planning my wedding, but I wouldn't say that's why I (religiously) read this blog. I read APW because it's intelligent, interesting, fun, and friendly. I feel like you I would be friends if we knew each other, Meg (though I think you're definitely cooler than me, so maybe I'd just aspire from afar). I LOVE the wedding graduate/real wedding posts because they focus on people and their stories–which is what matters!–and ALSO recognize the delights of delicious food and beautiful spaces and gorgeous dresses and creative, meaningful ways of acting out old, old rituals and celebrations.

    2. Simple: APW is a wedding blog with a moral compass.

    As such, it's a rare and precious treasure. The responsiveness and devotion of your audience is an indicator of how much hunger there is out there for a smart, friendly forum like this that takes marriage (and weddings) as an entry point for an examination of women's (and couple's) experiences of love and relationships in our time.

  • And I forgot to say that you respect the huge change that marriage is in a woman's life. I appreciate that you devote as much time to this transition as you do to the "details."

  • 1. I read because I have gotten a bit to into planning a wedding for my own comfort (when did I wake up and become this person) and I appreciate a place that talks about weddings in a way that doesn't take me further into detail-obsession land, but rather helps me to reflect on *why* I've ended up caring about things I would never have imagined giving a toss about.

    2. A blog that talks about how to plan a wedding which starts the marriage you want to have.

  • MrsGray

    1) I found you while I was planning our wedding and found a place where I didn't feel old, cheap, or unsentimental. I found a place where sanity reigns in a world (weddings) that gets crazy as all get out! I found a place that helped me focus on the reason we were getting married.
    2) "A Practical Wedding" brings a sassy sanity to the world of weddings, marriage, and life in general.

  • Anonymous

    Loyal lurker:

    1. For a fresh perspective from so many other blogs that make you believe you need to have “things;” favors, photo booth, etc. When we first started planning our wedding, I knew we had a different perspective, but finding your blog cements that we’re not alone in our feelings. It has always been about the marriage, not just the day. And you convey that so nicely. I’m constantly referencing you and your blog when I try to explain what our wedding will be like and what matters to us and does not matter to us. It’s amazing how hard it is for some people to understand. I know you understand. I know you get it. And it’s nice to share that with someone, besides my fiance.

    2. There is good and not so good out there-this is the good.

  • Anonymous

    I started reading APW when I got engaged about a year ago. After about six months the wedding was off. When I started planning our wedding so many issues, emotions and insecurities suddenly hit me. To plan a wedding that is genuine you have to be true to yourself and your partner and somewhere along the way I realized I could not do that because I didn’t know who I was or what exactly I wanted out of life. I couldn’t trust myself to make a decision that was forever. My fiancé and I broke up, but we remain close friends. Happily, it’s likely that once we work out our personal things we will get back together. APW was a key factor in my realization that things were not right. That in my heart I knew that I was not ready to make this commitment to anyone. Meg, you helped save my marriage before it even began. The wisdom you share is invaluable. I still read your blog everyday and I find it thought provoking and comforting…which is odd because at this point every other mention of weddings/marriage makes me cringe. It is a relief to know that there are other women who are tackling the vast array of issues surrounding marriage. You have inspired me to take a step back and closely examine what marriage really is. I was planning a wedding and now I’m preparing for a marriage. Thank you.

  • Anonymous

    1) I read your blog because you talk about the reason we're going through this whole wedding planning process in the first place, and it really helps keep perspective on what's really important. On a related note, your blog raises questions I might not have considered otherwise and gives me 'permission' in a sense to do things differently, and in a way that feels like me.

    2)Sane people wrestling with Big Ideas about marriage, weddings, and kind of life in general, and giving helpful tips along the way.

  • Anonymous

    Becaue I am getting married and it helps keep me sane. It brings me back to reality whenever I feel like I will be inadequate if I don't have 5 courses, 4 tiers, and perfect colour coding.
    It's the best.

  • Anonymous

    1) Your blog is like the yin to my yang. On one side we have you, the yin, with your practicality and level-headedness that cuts through the BS and says, hey THIS is what is really important. On the other side we've got the yang. Oh, the yang. The yang is the desire of mine to have a super-cool, over-the-top, unique wedding that will blow everyone's socks off!! (Yes, two exclamation points). The two meld together to equal my sanity and without either I wouldn't feel complete.

    2)Innovative and honest.

    Also, I for one would be more than happy to answer a survey about what sort of content we'd like to see on here. One of the things I enjoy about your blog is the way you involve your readers. There isn't content being thrown at us, it feels like a real conversation and community.

  • I read APW because it is a refreshing break from traditional wedding blogs that never scratch the surface of the purpose of the day – a life-long, happy marriage. APW makes me feel like whatever choices I want to make are fine, and need no defending.

    APW strikes the perfect balance between wedding planning and style advice, while delving into the larger emotional, financial, religious and other issues that come with wedding planning and getting married. APW is the blog version of the best advice I've received yet: "Your wedding lasts a day. Your marriage lasts a lifetime. Allocate resources and energy accordingly."

  • Anna

    Question 1:

    I read this blog because it is the only wedding-related blog that is still relevant AFTER getting hitched. I still enjoy some eye candy, but now that I'm not planning anymore, the majority of the other blogs I was reading are kinda pointless time-wasters. This one, however, is not wasting my time at all. It's full of EXCELLENT advice, wonderful down-to-earth experiences (that are along the same lines of what I am going through,) and GREAT writing. Nearly every post is something I want to immediately read out loud to the husband.
    Question 2:
    Keeping everything in perspective, for anyone, regardless of gender or orientation, when dealing with the wedding industry or relationships in general!

  • Amy

    1) I read APW because it is offers a unique take in this crazy bridal blog world! You talk about real things and not the "$50,000 budget wedding-tons of DIY-perfectly pretty-OMG my bridesmaid doesn't want to pay $500 for shoes" wedding crazy things. I feel like I get a good mix of wedding inspiration AND a bit of perspective when I read APW.

    2) Not to be too tongue in cheek, but: A Practical Wedding will kick your bridal ass back to sanity!

  • Personally, I've found that it's always down to earth. In the world of weddings – that's a plus. I never feel like I've wasted time when I look at your blog.

  • Hannah

    I read APW before I was engaged and now that I am engaged I'm obsessed. Because 1) weddings are the beginning of marriages and only APW seems to recognize that 2) in the current economy, being currently unemployed and marrying a teacher it's nice to have somewhere that would agree that 'to have and to hold' is as important as place cards and favours (seriously, fuck favours, no one is getting favours) and 3) I LOVE the wedding graduates and real weddings. Not just thin, beautiful maniacs with insanely expensive photographers and unbelievable mountain top weddings (although those are awesome) but also random people who got married in a church hall or a state park and wore a dress they stole from their mother or got for a hundred bucks. I like seeing that their weddings were beautiful and all those smiling lovely faces. I like being reminded that even though there will be no favours and my little sister might end up taking all the pictures that we will be married and there will be love and that the wedding can be beautiful.

    So there.

  • 1. I keep reading because the posts and comments help give me perspective on my experience getting married. Its inspiring to see all the ways women can take ownership of what it means to be a bride and a wife.

    2. A blog about how women experience weddings, marriage, and love.

  • Anonymous

    1) because it makes the idea of getting married a little less scary

    2)it's a wedding blog, but not, you know, a wedding blog that will make you want to vomit

  • B

    I am a loyal lurker, I suppose. Though I'm making a more conscious effort to comment and join communities that I appreciate… so here goes.

    1. We are planning our wedding for next June, and I started reading wedding blogs almost immediately after our engagement. Now that we have our important factors decided, (you can read about some of it–I'm a slow blogger–at http://justoneveryspecialday.blogspot.com)
    I've stopped regularly visiting other wedding blogs (it makes me feel uneasy to see a ton of wedding porn), but yours remains. I am not a detail oriented girl, and I don't enjoy thinking of ways to do my own centerpieces. So I think we'll throw some daisies in some Mason jars the day of, and call it good. Your blog tells me that it's okay to do that, but it also tells me that it's okay if I do care about centerpieces. What ISN'T okay (and I think this is the best thing about your blog) is to prioritize the wedding over the marriage to the point that I'm willing to argue with my dear fiance about centerpieces.
    2. I would sum up APW as a wonderful conversation about weddings, marriages, women, etc… facilitated by your honest and thoughtful posts.

    Thanks, Meg!

  • 1.) I read APW because so many wedding blogs out there get me too caught up in the princess-ness of the day, and I want to stay grounded and remember what my wedding day will mean.
    2.) I do this all the time!! APW is a great blog that talks about how great weddings are, but helps keep you grounded and realistic and helps keep you from blowing everything wedding related out of proportion.

  • Anonymous

    I am not planning a wedding. But I love a happy story. And I find the happy stories in this blog very inspiring. And I believe in practicality!

  • 1. Why do you read this blog?
    I read this blog because I'm engaged. Well, that was the first reason why I started reading this blog. I continue to read this blog because it is insightful, well-written, accessible (the rhetoric, not the site itself), personal, inspirational, and hopeful. I see Real Weddings with beautiful pictures and beautiful people. I get great ideas for ways to Keep Practical in a time when the industry and half my family seems to think it's okay to go insane. I especially love Wedding Graduate posts, women on the Other Side, telling us to CHILL OUT and that, really, no one will care. I love the discussions about weddings and centerpieces and DIY flowers, all alongisde the discussions about marriage and love and womanhood. This is, far and away, my favorite wedding blog.

    2. If you had to sum up this blog in one sentence, what would that sentence be?
    …okay, tough one. Thank god for computers and a chance to revise and rewrite.

    "A Practical Wedding is a blog that talks about the the fun and frivolity of weddings, without ignoring the Very Real Business of sustaining a relationship and being married, while placing overall emphasis on individual sanity, love of all kinds, and practicality in an impractical industry."

    (hey, you never said it had to be a *short* sentence).

    A true fan,

  • Liz

    Hi Meg,

    Another loyal lurker here.

    I stumbled upon APW from the piece JD at Get Rich Slowly did on you back in October '08 and have been a consistent follower since. My friend Kris is also now a loyal follower – believe she has hit you up about her new blog, The Imaginary Wedding…
    I'm not engaged, but have been in a long term committed relationship and we're on the path to marriage.
    JD's post on GRS linked to a few wedding grads, and soon I started digging around your grad archives and read them all. Then I read all your other archives :)
    I think what makes APW one of the only sites I consistently read (besides the NY Times & LOLcats) is that I love human interest stories, and I believe weddings are one heck of an example. I especially love the dry, witty tone to your posts. It's smart and quite thought provoking. I love that you're evolving the blog now that your own wedding is past and am always impressed with the thoughtful subject matter. And it's also helped confirm for me that with weddings, as with many things in life, doing what feels right to me & my man is the most important thing. And, to echo what many have already said, APW is a breath of fresh air and that truly (as sappy as it may be), "All you need is love".

    Keep up the good work and I'm looking forward to sending you pictures of my own wedding someday.

    Loyal lurker,

  • Brandy

    1. I read this blog to be inspired by other women's stories and points of view. I find that in real life I am a little shy on female friends (though the ones I have are ultra-fabulous). I read it because I feel that we live in a world of excess that I do not fit into very well at all and this blog helps me feel a bit more "normal". I also read it because you and the women here seem to remember that planning a wedding isn't about STUFF!

    2. APW is a forum for open conversations among smart, sassy women trying to define their new role while planning a kick-@ss party in celebration of that new role.

  • 1) I read APW because it keeps me grounded, sane and authentic as I make my way through this wedding planning process.

    2) APW is a feminist blog where a community of women (and probably some men too) gather to support each other in planning their weddings and navigating newlywed life thoughtfully and authentically.

  • I read APW to feel better about the fact that I know nothing about planning a wedding and want to know nothing more than I need to. And because I'm not crafty, artsy, or DIY. And that's ok here.

  • 1) I read APW (since almost the beginning and still!) because I think you and all of us are telling an important story that helps us all reach deeper toward what our weddings and marriages can be. And because it's feminist-y and hitting the right political notes for me. And because you've got a huge heart, Meg.

    2) Smart talk about the guts and soul of weddings and marriage, at times exposing the garbage of our cultural assumptions of these things, with equal parts heart and sass.

  • April


    1) I read APW for its perspective, sanity and a dose of humor. It's one of the very, very few blogs that talks about weddings in a way that doesn't make me want to barf or reach for an aspirin. It also focuses on the bigger, more important parts of the wedding – like the actual marriage… not just centerpieces and cake.

    2) APW is a breath of fresh air and a forum filled with smart, rockin' people who have a lot to share; about weddings, marriage and life in general.

  • 1. APW is the only blog I read daily while planning my wedding. I'm married now, and I still read it everyday. This is a community that keeps drawing me in because it celebrates diversity and the transitions to MANY seasons of life.
    2. Clean, basic, relational good stuff.

  • 1. I was planning a wedding (that took place August 15th) and I am not/have never been a wedding person. I tried to talk my fiance into eloping so I didn't have to deal with wedding stuff (especially family, mine is crazy and adults often act like 4 year olds). My total lack of wedding knowledge made me search for blogs with wedding styles close to my own. Now I am a little addicted to reading the 2 blogs that helped me plan my wedding (you and $2000)
    2. A space to find sensible answers to wedding questions that don't involve rampant spending/consumerism.

  • 1) Because
    – you are very entertaining and thought provoking
    – you reflect my world view and you articulate many of my own thoughts so nicely
    – I like your writing style
    – I have a bit of a girl crush on you
    – I feel connected to a community of like minded individuals and I don't necessarily have this in real life (in the context of weddings)

    2) It's a collection of ideas and discussions that will be comforting and helpful to the person who gets introduced to the wedding world and thinks, "oh my dear Lord."

    By the way, I don't think I've ever thanked you for the diligent effort you put into your blog. You really create a safe place for a lot of people and I'm constantly impressed by how many origional ideas you have and how intelligent you are.

  • 1) Because I had almost given up on getting married. Regular mall shopping gives me anxiety, so I get literally panicky just thinking about going into a wedding dress store or going wedding ring shopping. Your articulate navigation of your response to the wedding industry and ability to reclaim a personal space for yourself as an individual first, and bride second, has inspired me to rethink getting married.

    2) APW inspires the creation of a life that you will be proud to tell stories to your grandchildren about.

  • 1. I love so many things about your blog, especially how you're walking the sane line between wedding industry bs and indie blogger wedding bs, two terrifying ends of the spectrum. After seeing the same junk on every other blog, yours is a breath of fresh air. I also love your commitment–to your marriage, your own ideals, and your faith. Exemplary!
    2. A blog that happens to be a lot about weddings but is mainly about being a strong, smart, practical woman making a big step in her life.

  • 1)Because when I go through tough times with my significant other, i hear your APW voice in my head which reminds me what all this wedding stuff is REALLY about. it helps me keep sane and refocuses me so that I can be a better partner, cutting through the layers or everyday bullshit.
    2. Weddings the way they are meant to be celebrated, big love that shines through the pretty frills

  • One Love Photo

    Because I like to read the comments and understand planning from other women's perspective. And because I like you and your SASS and you say things that I totally think but don't feel I can write.

  • 1. I read this blog because I am inactively planning a wedding (I'm getting married soonish, but don't really feel like i need to devout my soul to planning one day), and your blog makes my casual planning style seem ok. Also, when i do feel like being in "wedding mode" your blog reminds me that it's fun. You're also a really good writer that makes me laugh inappropriately at work.
    2. Your blog is like a secret club that cool/smart/sassy women should get a link to when they get engaged. It took me way to long to find this…

  • Anonymous

    I'm a wedding blogger.

    I read your blog because I love it. I write with passion and I passionately want brides to bethmeslves (and to be with their husband and to create an event that is true to themselves)

    Yet I feel i fail. Every day. I feel when you tweet "BIC" hat it's me. I feel like no matter how hard I try to inspire brides to think differently, no matter how wide a range of weddings I feature, no matter how many times I share things from all different kinds of women happening to get married, I still get it wrong. I still somehow promote women not feeling good enough, feeling that they have to fit it.

    I am so passionate about brides having a day that is honest to them, that makes them shine, that is all about joy and love and really nothing else that I cry in frustration because I do.not. have. the. words. to get it out!

    So I come here, I link here, I promote here because I can't seem to get it out that however you do things is okay, that it's just darn okay!

    • AWB

      Dearest Meg,

      I finally found my comment!

      I am reply to this to give myself a kick up the butt, to remind myself that I need to keep showing off events that are real, honest and authentic. (Apologies for commenting twice on eon old posts)

  • Anonymous

    Oh and I forgot the tagline A Practical Wedding..where weddings get real

    Love it every day

  • 1) I started because I was planning a wedding and your blog was the first place I saw wedding ideas that made me think, "I could do that, that would be lovely actually." I keep reading because, after the engagement ended (not in a wedding as it turns out), I found I'm actually quite clueless as to what marriage might really be about. I read for peer-therapy I suppose, and also for the pictures, and the love stories. I read to be inspired/reminded to think about just what it is I do want out of marriage (someday perhaps). To remember not to be bitter – to remember that love as a way of life is a worthy goal whether it comes as part of a marriage or not.

    2) An exploration of the life lived with fidelity towards one's self, one's partner and both their mutual and individual values. A forum for reflection on the big and little bits of what it is to plan a wedding and what it is to have a marriage.

    Thanks for blogging. Thanks for creating this beautiful community.

  • Anonymous

    1) I started reading when I was planning a wedding, stayed around to see how your wedding turned out, and keep staying around to get your perspective on things. I like your writing and your insights — "sass" included.

    2) Meg at APW offers a much-needed wake-up call to the wedding world, shifting the focus from florists and caterers and bridesmaids to love and joy and marriage.

  • Marisa-Andrea

    1) I read because I relate to you and your experience on many levels. You're like the voice in my head in the midst of the craziness and it's always refreshing to find someone else who holds your "unique" point of view.

    2) Smart.

  • Seraina

    1. I read this blog because we are planning our wedding for next year and try to do it in a practical, sane way. It gives me so many ideas but at the same time, unlike most of the other wedding blogs, keeps reminding me that this is about marriage and not the wedding! Your posts are great!
    2. APW is a wedding blog with great ideas but also that keeps you sane in crazy moments and that has very thoughtful and emotional posts about what marriage is about.

  • Seraina

    1. I read this blog because we are planning our wedding for next year and try to do it in a practical, sane way. It gives me so many ideas but at the same time, unlike most of the other wedding blogs, keeps reminding me that this is about marriage and not the wedding! Your posts are great!
    2. APW is a wedding blog with great ideas but also that keeps
    you sane in crazy moments and that has very thoughtful and emotional posts about what marriage is about.

    PS.: I'm one of your readers from Switzerland…

  • Your blog is really very great.It is one of the must read blogs.It not only gives very important information to the brides but it also helps them know about their other cultures…

  • Anonymous

    a loyal lurker here, neither engaged nor married but perhaps a little hopeful ;)
    1. it makes me smile; i like all the love and the creativeness and the reiteration that its ok to do things a bit differently (and i don't just mean in regards to weddings)
    2. a lovely place…that happens to revolve slightly around weddings and marriage and plans
    catherine x

  • I read this blog because it helps me center myself during the process of planning my wedding (I'm getting married in six months). I really value the self-reflection type of thoughts that I always come away with. I will be keeping many of the lessons from the blog in mind to stay sane for the rest of the process, and especially during the wedding.

    It's hard to say how I would summarize the blog, but I might say: The most reflective, "be yourself" blog I've been able to find in the internet world of weddings.

    I don't comment often at all, but thank you Meg! As I have started to read fewer and fewer blogs, this is one that always stays on the list.

  • Anonymous

    1 – To be reminded that I can still be me, even in the midst of wedding insanity, and that whatever I and my beloved want to do that is special and meaningful to us – that is right and ok. (And also I think you and your contributors/readers are smart and funny and the kind of gals I'd get along with if I met you at a party.)
    2 – A "no rules, judgment free" place to revel in the joys (and share the challenges) of everything that goes with being engaged and getting married.

  • 1. I read this blog because the writing is intelligent and funny, and because it makes me feel really normal and optimistic about planning my wedding.
    2. A wedding blog for us regular folks! Plus great advice and ideas.

  • i read because you talk about what matters about getting married and marriage itself. i love that you are honest about issues you wrestle with (i.e. what does the word wife mean) that many women can relate to. you provide a much needed balance to the fun and excitement of wedding planning with discussion of what really matters while simultaneously providing a refuge against the deluge of wedding insanity thrown at us from all corners telling us we need to spend this much or have this dress or care about this, that and the other.

    if i had to sum up this blog? hmm.
    a blog that discusses what should matter about the act of getting married-the marriage itself- alongside some fun, creative, helpful wedding planning ideas, providing support and refuge to women everywhere who are planning, thinking about planning, or already planned their own weddings.

  • Dream

    1. I read this blog because it seems like we all have something in common. Like if the blogosphere were a neighborhood we'd all be friends. It's not a fluffy blog with pretty, unrealistic advice, it's a smart blog with realistic expectations. It's the bridesmaid telling you to screw the pressure and do what you want.
    2. A wedding blog for real people… who are open minded…and don't believe the hype.

  • Anonymous

    Hey APW:

    I'm a lurker. Totally busted. I read your site every day some weeks. Alright. MOST weeks.

    I'm not engaged to be married. I do live with my boyfriend and some days when he doesn't watch 20 straight hours of football and I get a wink or two out of him – I do, in fact, want to marry him.

    Mostly I love this website because I love to perpetually think forward. Some people say thinking too far ahead is dangerously close to not living in the moment. But – I say – thinking forward is the very definition of dreaming.

    I also guarantee you that once Wink and I do get married, I'll be back – lurking for information on a progressive pregnancy. Because it'll be next on my mind.

    Also on my mind as a 27-year old woman with a master's degree and a whole lot of love for the thin red line between tradition and punch-tradition-in-the-mouth? Starting my own business, leaving professional politics for a baking career, renovating our rowhouse (in my historic D.C. neighborhood), potential future English bulldog ownership, and inner peace.

    The last one you guys already help with, though, Meg. I love to hear the stories about other neurotic women finding snippets of mental calm and reveling in them. <3

    hugs (and good luck!)

    <3 Lady Winks

  • I'm not sure how I found your blog. I definitely fall into the lurker category b/c I am not even dating anyone. I don't agree with everything you say. But I do appreciate the "real-ness" of what you write. And the sane approach to weddings (which can translate to a sane approach to many things). But mostly I read this blog because I love the sheer joy of the wedding posts. They sometimes bring me to tears.

    Happy tears, not feeling-sorry-for-myself tears.

  • i read this blog because the knot makes me nauseous and martha (tho i love her!) gives me chest pains.
    also, i'm the first one of my friends and family to take the plunge, so their expectations of weddings are based firmly in romantic comedies and TLC specials (what do you MEAN you're not having a seating chart?! how are YOU going to do YOUR OWN flowers?!). so, instead of them, i have Meg.
    APW is a healthy dose of perspective and the antidote to the crazy mixed up world of wedding blogs.

  • Anna

    I am not planning a wedding but I read APW for two reasons. 1) the wedding porn and 2) the profound discussions on relationships.

    APW is a grounding site that helps people to realize they can have the weddings that they want and the marriages they create.

  • lmb

    I am not planning a wedding, and I still read your blog. I think the main reason that I keep coming back is because although I am not eng(r)aged, I am in a serious relationship that is in the process of becoming more serious, and APW provides a place that really addresses the relationship side of the whole wedding thing, rather than just the pretty pictures. APW is about figuring out values, and how those things work themselves out in real-life details. I really struggle with the idea of becoming a "wife" someday, and fear that my identity will be co-opted by my marital status. Reading APW affirms that I am not crazy to feel this way, but it also provides a space for constructive brainstorming and reimagining of the ways in which we can be part of committed romantic relationships and also be ourselves, in all our glorious messiness and inconsistency and particularity.

    If I had to sum up APW in one sentence, it would go something like this: "A Practical Wedding doesn't have much to do with weddings; it is about the difficult and beautiful process of discovering yourself in the context of relationship."

  • 1) I read this blog because there hasn't been one entry telling me that I need X kind of invitations or Y kind of reception. But I've also never felt bad for doing something my own way.

    2) APW to me is reassurance that I'm not alone in this cracked out version of the modern wedding world. With all of the family pressure to be "traditional" APW lets me be myself

  • Anonymous

    Lurker here! I'm not engaged or planning on getting married any time soon, although that is the direction that my relationship is headed. I read this blog because it keeps me grounded in my relationship. It reminds me of all the things that we should be working towards in order to have a successful and happy life together, regardless of marital status.

  • I started reading (after I was married) because I enjoy seeing and hearing about weddings. Weddings just make me happy. I keep reading because the writing is sassy and witty without sacrificing honesty. I also have really enjoyed the recent discussions about marriage. As someone who grew up with a very "traditional" example of marriage (not that that's necessarily a bad thing; it's just not me), I struggle with what it means to be a wife. It's nice to know there are others out there who don't buy into all of the marriage stereotypes out there.

    If I had to describe APW in one sentence: "It's a wedding blog about so much more than weddings; it's about embracing individuality, living purposefully, and loving fearlessly."

  • I am not planning a wedding but I read your blog to help understand the thoughts in my head that fight against tradional theories surrounding relationshps and marriage so that someday I can be okay with the idea of getting married, and having a wedding (one the way I want), and being a wife. You have really helped me feel that all of those worries are not so strange, and give me courage to identify and face them.

    One sentence? Tough to do, but I would have to say:

    A Practical Wedding is for pratical women trying to figure out (and personalize!)the motions of adulthood.

  • Anonymous

    I'm not engaged. (YET. But we're not far off.) I can't remember how I found your blog, but I've been reading faithfully for more than a few months now, taking notes on Midwest-local APW sponswers. Your blog is more than wedding p*rn, it's a conversation on marriage, one that I'm more than a little excited to start in my own life. I have friends getting married and their "OMG Everything Must Be Perfect" attitudes make me hyperventilate. Your blog brings me back to reality and reminds me why I'd like to marry the man I'm so blessed to be with, and why we celebrate with weddings.
    APW in one sentence? A smart and reasonable community of women celebrating love, family and marriage.

  • 1. Why do you read this blog?
    Because I agree with the larger portion of your philosophy towards marriage and the implications of that philosophy for a wedding. And because you say things that I've thought but haven't developed into words yet.
    2. If you had to sum up this blog in one sentence, what would that sentence be?
    APW is an unapologetic, smart blog devoted to providing a respite of sanity from the otherwise wedding crazed world.

  • Meg

    Why do I read this blog?
    I read this blog because the header is exactly what I want in a wedding: "creative, thrifty, sane". This blog feels more intellectual and less materialistic than most of the other wedding blogs I come across. It's not just about the "wedding porn", it's about values and conversations. It's about having an authentic wedding that belongs to you, not what the WIC spits out at you.

    If I had to sum it up in a sentence, I'd say "my favorite wedding blog" (and not because I'm brown-nosing). I'd say "It's a wedding blog focused on planning and discussing weddings that are budget-conscious and unique". Yes, I really do talk like that. :P

  • Others have said it better, but to echo… I found this blog when I was planning my wedding and it affirmed my beliefs in what I wanted our wedding to be, even if that wasn't what I was hearing from family/wedding blogs/Martha Stewart Weddings. We got married two months ago and it was truly the greatest weekend of my life. Now, I read this blog because the critical conversations about marriage and being a wife speak to where I am these days. I also appreciate it because the message isn't "Now that you're married… don't you want to decorate your house/bake cookies/make babies?" Although I do want to do those things too… And you get that.

  • Bea

    I'm a loyal lurker who's getting hitched in 2010.

    1. Why do I read APW? Well, before I found this blog, I was on the verge of calling the whole thing off. Truly. Now, I grin like a moron just thinking about the party we're planning to kick off the beginning of our marriage. Enough said.

    2. A celebration of joyful, intelligent and authentic unions that won't send you to the poor house or the mad house.

    Lady, I heart you so bad.

  • Bea

    Oops. Can I have a re-do for my "APW in one sentence?" Pretty please?

    A celebration of joyful, thoughtful and authentic unions that won't send you to the poor house or the mad house.

    [OK. End anal retentiveness.]

  • 1) Because after divorce, I now truly believe in marriage.

    2) Perspective in what has become insane. Real insight into the lives and values of real women.

  • 1) Because 99.9% of the things you say are so funny I laugh out loud…and then my fiance gives me a funny look. You also talk more about what it means to be in a serious relationship that turned into a lifetime commitment. The way you talk about those matters doesn't make me feel like I hung out with Hallmark card writers for twelve hours. (side note: I would never willingly do that)

    2) A gathering place on the internet where people discuss relationships, lifetime commitments, and real life issues; with some random wedding planning related topics like centerpiece ideas.

  • 1. While I'm not planning a wedding, I am in a long-term relationship where marriage is always on the table, and I'm in my late-20s and everyone seems to be getting married all the time, and generally, I love reading about the wise, generous, and interesting individuals who fill APW.
    2. It's a blog about people who happen to be getting married.

  • 1. I read the blog because it makes me feel relaxed AND excited about my own wedding day.
    Some blogs give me an inferiority complex, others leave me wondering if its lame to care so much about my wedding. After reading your posts I usually feel more zen about the entire thing.

    2. I'd describe your blog as a daily reality check for those wanting a creative, thrifty and sane wedding experience. (to use your own words)

  • Tree

    To say it simply: you help tether me back down to earth. I'm allowed to float and feel happy, but I know what it's like to be grounded, and to make sound decisions and not waste time on what doesn't matter.

    Thank you. :)

  • 1)a fellow jew planning an independent wedding. wedding graduates that share their own version of how to do it, that makes me feel like there's no right or wrong way to have a wedding
    2)plan your wedding your way. learn from those who have been through it with grace, sanity, and their own spin on things

  • Long time lurker, sorry :). I started reading your blog when I got engaged, in July of 2008. This is one of the few I kept reading through it all-the planning, the crises (my then fiance was laid off in January. In April we found out that the house we were renting was being sold and we would have to move by May. Our wedding was June 6th. Gulp!), the family stuff (my parents=laid back and awesome, his parents=uptight and bossy. Not a good idea to ask your stressed out fiance 'Really, wtf is wrong with you people?"), all of the tiny little issues that need to be worked out between us. And now, while negotiating the tricky territory of being married, of day-to-day maintaining and improving the most important relationship of my life. I feel like you and the wedding graduates are like older sisters, nodding your heads wisely and saying 'This is how I did it. This is how I felt. You're not alone, it happens to us all.' Summing up APW in one sentence: APW is not so much a wedding blog as it is a marriage blog, a place to go no matter what stage of being married you're in, from newly engaged to been married for years, and find the hilarity, sanity, hope and recognition that is what we all search for when we reach out to make a connection. I guess I made up for a year's worth of not commenting in one. Sorry to be so long winded!

  • kalli

    Because when I found A Practical Wedding I realized I wasn't alone in:
    -my horror at some of the so-called modern wedding "traditions" and "must-haves"
    -wanting to plan a wedding that was meaningful, fun, affordable
    -being slightly intimidated by the ultra-DIY cooler-than-thou aesthetic of some other alterna-indie wedding blogs
    -finding this whole wedding planning thing a teensy bit hilarious
    -being more interested in what being married means than what getting married means

    Also… I love your sense of humour, style and taste in general.
    The best written, most thoughtful blog of its kind around.

    Our wedding was 3 months ago and I keep reading because I continue to feel that spark of recognition in your posts about negotiating a new marriage. And because I think weddings are awesome and your brides are the coolest.

  • Anonymous

    1) I read for the interesting perspectives on different aspects of getting married and the advice/ideas for weddings.

    2) APW is a blog about gracefully planning and experiencing transition to married life.

  • 1. I read this blog because, while I am not planning a wedding, I am planning on having a wedding. I read this blog because one day it might not be here, and one day I might be planning a wedding, and when that one day comes along I'd like to have my head on straight from the start.

    2. This blog seems, to me, to be sense in a sea of madness, a marriage blog in a sea of wedding blogs.

  • agirl

    I'm answering your questions from the perspective of someone whose wedding planning days are thankfuly long over.

    1. I read because you ask, and encourage debate around, intelligent and provocative questions about relationships in general.

    2. What Jo said: 'smart women talking about smart stuff (very thinly) disguised as wedding talk'.

  • 1. I read this blog for a little dose of bridal sanity, amongst all the wedding insanity that makes me feel as if I need to morph into bridezilla.
    2. That first sentence kinda sums up your blog for me too.

  • Sorry I'm late to this, but I figured I'd still give my two cents because I love APW.

    1. I read this blog because it's grounded, provides inspiring words, and features some of the coolest weddings.
    2. A Practical Wedding is a sane, rational blog meant to encourage, inspire, and ground folks before, during, and after their wedding with a bit of sass and intellect to boot.

  • I started reading (and lurking) this blog when I was still planning my wedding because it was the one blog out there that wasn't really about linens or dresses or how to be as Unique ™ as possible- but rather, about relationships and love and getting married. Yes linens and dresses and uniqueness appear, but only as a lense through which to examine the deeper ideas and ideals. I've been married now for almost two months, and I'm still coming back for more because everything in this blog, even when it's about weddings, isn't really just about weddings. I love the posts about married life. I love the fact that this blog reaches out to people and connects them. I love that you have an opinion, and even though I don't always 100% agree, I never regret reading it.

    In one sentence? APW is a smart blog about life, relationships and how to find clarity and contentment, parading around cleverly disguised as a wedding blog.

  • 1) This blog is full of lovely words and pictures that match my values as well as my aesthetic.

    2) This community is interested in weddings but rejects the trappings of consumerism, patriarchy, and vanity that accompany most wedding sites. Y'all are wonderful and reading this blog consistently makes me feel calm and happy about my upcoming wedding AND marriage.

  • 1 – I don't remember how I found you, but I was obsessed with wedding blogs for the sheer ridiculousness. But when I found APW, I felt like i found a comrade. Nearly everything you write, I'm like, "omg, YES." I am also digging the fact that you didn't stop blogging 4 seconds after you got married. The whole point of getting married isn't the wedding — it's the "as long as you both shall live."
    2 – APW isn't about what *they* want, it's about what you and your main-man-to-be want.

  • 1. Because nothing I read before I got married made me feel nauseous about my wedding. APW also made me feel justified in my planning thought-processes. Now that I'm married, I love it more because you write about things that make me *think*.

    2. "If you're getting/have gotten married and need to take a deep breath, go read APW."

  • katyo

    I'm another lurker who is not planning a wedding, but I hope that I will be soon! That said, I read APW because it feels like good pre-wedding planning counseling.

    A Practical Wedding is a blog that causes readers to think about the bigger issues, and sift through everything "wedding planning" brings to mind to plan a marriage and wedding that celebrates who they are and are becoming.

  • Anonymous

    1. I read APW when I feel the need to read a wedding blog–but to help me remember in joyful, sassy ways exactly what this wedding thing is all about after all: Relationships!
    2. Sanity. Redefining wedding in the blogosphere.

  • Sara A

    ::de-lurking for a moment::

    1. Why do you read this blog?
    I love hearing what you have to say. I chanced on your blog this past Spring and felt like I was reading this letter from the savvy older sister I've never had. I am going through the whole wedding-planning thing and it feels like you either have to have the crazy Knot wedding or the crazy Once Wed wedding and there's nothing out there addressing the women that want to marry the best man in the world for them. There is nothing in wedding magazines or most wedding blogs about love and this profound step we are about to take. It's all focused on this created ordeal and your ordeal is either about hunting and gathering the correct things or about making the correct things. You and Offbeat Bride talk to those of us who aren't overly concerned with things. You endorse the idea that if you explain the thing you are obsessing over to your fiance and he looks at you like you are mad-woman then it is a crazy idea. The fiance is not wrong on this count.

    2. If you had to sum up this blog in one sentence, what would that sentence be?
    From the woman that coined the term "engraged", the bridge between wedding and sanity.

  • Jess

    1) I stumbled upon your blog somehow, I think from Peonies, who I found from somewhere else… no idea! But as soon as I started reading, it was like a breath of fresh air. I went back and read post after post after post. I still visited Once Wed and Style Me Pretty daily for inspiration, but it was nice to know APW was always there to bring me back down to earth if I got a little carried away. The other wedding sites fed my love for stationery and details, but APW opened my eyes to the real meaning of a wedding. It has been wonderful to read your thoughts leading up to your own wedding, and even better to read your perspective of being married following the day. I was married in October but I still check in every couple of days for your inspirational thoughts on marriage and life in general. Your recent post on marriage counselling particularly moved me because I originally thought pre-marital counselling was completely insane, but I now recognise how important it is to discuss these issues with your partner, and I plan to organise a time for my husband and I to sit down and do that just. Thank you for being you! It is refreshing.

    2) APW is a blog beyond the wedding – it's marriage, it's love, it's being a wife, it's life.

  • Rachel

    1. I read because here I find discussions about weddings with reality, heart, and care for whats important and not obsessions with favors and monogrammed napkins. I don't come from money and even in the fairy tale where I do, it seems ridiculous to deeply stress and revolve my life around planning a single party and not an entire life with the person I love.

    2. One sentence…APW is where desire for beauty and reality collide in an inextricable mass of love, diy, sensibility, hard work, and fun.

  • 1. Because when my fiance says "Are we doing ***?" and I say "EFF NO!!" I can usually find a post that explains why not!

    Because the word "sanity" gets used a lot.

    Because you keep reminding me of the feeling I want on my wedding day, not the look.

    2. APW is a guide to figuring out what's important to you, figuring out what you can do and still remain sane (there's that word!) while at the same time perhaps having to compromise because your wedding doesn't exist in a bubble and that real life affects what you do too.

  • Brittney

    Hi Meg,

    1) I read your blog because you speak to me. Your blog has such honest writing, it makes me think about important marriage issues, it's inspiring, creative and fun to read.
    2)A Practical Wedding is a wedding blog that independent, practical, creative people can come to and feel like you've found "your people".

  • 1.) Because it goes beyond the wedding and makes me think about marriage. It makes me smile and laugh and even tear up sometimes.

    2.) Very honest and non-judgmental talk about weddings and marriage, which strikes the perfect balance between practical and emotional.

  • Hi Meg, I'm really late commenting here, even though I read this post the first day it came up and all of the comments that day! A lot of people have said that you offer a sane alternative to other wedding blogs/ websites/ magazines, with which I totally agree, but the real reason that I read A Practical Wedding every day (and save it until the very end of my blog list–best for last!)is because the weddings you feature here encapsulate what I hope my wedding will feel like. I'm relatively early in my 2-year engagement, so other blogs are helpful for finding great photographers or interesting ideas, but none of those posts fill me with pure excitement about getting married and all the adventures we have in store. I found your blog before I got engaged, and it's made me approach the wedding and the marriage in an entirely different way. Your conversation about reclaiming wife and what marriage means inspired me to add a lot more "marriage" blogs to my reader (rather than "wedding" blogs) so that I can start thinking about those questions and opening up the conversations with my fiance now. Your blog persuaded me that premarital counseling was the right thing for us. Your posts about the transformative experience of marrying the person you love have made me so much more conscious of the ways in which even engaged life has changed how I think about myself and my role in the world. I haven't started a blog, but I have started a journal, because I think it's important to record these changes and to take the time to notice and be self-reflective. I can't tell you how many conversations between my fiance and I have sprung from this blog (he's also a reader). Keep it up – we love your perspective, the questions you ask, your work for marriage equality, and the conversations you're starting.

  • Hi there,
    I just came across your blog in the last few weeks, so I won't really be able to answer question #2, but here's the reason I read this blog:
    I just caught the wedding bug, at 22 years old. I am not engaged and don't believe I will be anytime soon, but suddenly this stuff has become fascinating to me. Yours is one of the three wedding blogs I've found that is written with a sense of humor, the artful use of cynicism, and basically, you just sound like the kind of girl I could hang out with, not some wedding-obsessed tiny-pored drone. (Not sure where the pores came in? Me neither, but let's go with it.)

    Anyway, so far I'm really liking what you're doing. Hope your efforts to go bigger and better work out for you!

  • CJ

    1) Resource, important topics, humor, sarcasm, beautiful people, beautiful pictures, inspiration, feminism, and a sense of community even though this is my first comment.

    2) Weddings, minus the crazy, plus the marriage.

  • Cate Subrosa


    1. For your writing. (That simple.)

    2. The online centre of a group of women brought together by their shared experience of wedding planning and kept together by a shared interest in having a good, modern marriage.

  • At first, it was to help keep me sane during my wedding planning. Now, it is a place where some of the frustrating thoughts swirling around my wedding regarding marriage, gender roles, families, etc., can get some clarity through your much-better-worded thoughts. I live in a traditional, though not really conservative, area, so it is nice to know I am not crazy for thinking these things. Like that my husband and I should be equal and that we can make our own rules about what that means.

  • 1. Because I'm planning a wedding AND a marriage and this is a wonderful place for inspiration and dialogue; because you're fun to read; because I love your (this goes for all of you) attitudes towards the big parties we're throwing to celebrate the married-getting; because you are Person A (and I wish my state gave me the option); because when people ask "How's the wedding planning going? Is it getting crazy?" I can say, "Nope, it's a lot to do, but it's fun and with inspiration from blogs like 'A Practical Wedding' we're really doing ok!"; because this is a very nice place to be that makes me feel content and sane and like I can totally plan a big party in the 3 weeks we're visiting (my parents' home, where we'll be getting married next year) this year…
    2. PRACTICAL, so, logical and straightforward, but also sentimental in the right way and focused on marriage and not just shiny wedding stuff (but also on shiny wedding stuff, because it's fun); a great community full of like-minded folks who may or may not be planning a wedding or preparing for a marriage but who are cool and insightful and helpful nonetheless.

  • Pam

    I found you via Cate Subrosa (back when she was Guilty Secret), and I found her via The Secret of Life. I also read Peonies, LPC, ESB, First Milk, and others, each of whom I discovered through comments and recommendations. I'm not a regular reader, but each time I come back I catch up from where I left off (hence this extremely late comment).

    I like how you write, and I like how you think. I like the wonderful community that exists here.

    I was particularly fascinated by your posts about premarital counselling. As a psychology PhD and trainee psychotherapist, I would be thrilled to provide such a space for people who wish to explore this.

    I'm not planning a wedding. I'm 50 and single. I've been engaged twice, but never married. I still feel welcome here. Even though you're not talking to me, you're talking to me.

    While reading APW I have experienced moments of greater insight into how or why my engagements did not turn into marriages. Those moments are not why I keep coming back, but they are certainly a bonus.

    I recommend APW to friends of mine who are planning a wedding who I think would get where you're coming from.

    APW is the go-to place for people who are planning a marriage more than a wedding. It's also a great place for those of us who like hanging out with such people.