Mmmm…. gender stereotypes

You’ll notice that this blog is called “Practical Wedding” and not “Practical Bride.” My knee jerk reaction was to call it Practical Bride, but then I realized that played right in to all the crazy wedding gender stereotyping that drives me mad in the first place. I will in fact be doing the blogging here, as partner-in-crime is busy over at Practical Progress and, um, at law school. But I don’t want this to be a groom free environment. Hopefully David will pop in a guest blog now and again. We’re working really hard to plan this wedding together, and it bothers me that the only groom-speak out there tends to sound more like a frat boy talking then anything. You know the drill, “weddings are stupid, my fiance can’t keep on her budget.” and the like.

Or then there is this sort of thing (real quote from the bride-o-sphere): “I like to focus on the groom in my business. I always encourage them to be part of meetings and decisions. I also give them attention on the big day! It is their wedding too-but, no worries girls- it’s still all about the bride-RIGHT?!”

Wrong. And I’m starting to get allergic to the term “The Big Day” too. Which is problamatic, since I might try on some wedding dresses this weekend just for kicks, and I’m sure the sales lady will use the term with me at least 25 times. Hopefully it won’t make poke out my eyes.

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  • I just want you to know that I read your post and thought “I’m not alone in the world.” It’s refreshing to know that other couples out there feel crazy and irritated by all of the gender stereotypes and other crap that gets crammed down our throats about weddings. My partner and I are getting married in July, and it absolutely infuriates me how often people seem to forget that weddings are about TWO people. All of the fuss over the “bride” makes me want to vomit. Literally. It’s part of the reason we decided to get married at my parents house-so that strange staff people couldn’t treat us how they would assume a “bride” and “groom” want to be treated. We’re getting married because we want to share our decision to spend our lives together and create a family with our community. It’s a “we” event. And the wedding industry has sold another image to women-that somehow this is “their” day and “the big day” at that. which also makes me crazy. Sure, your wedding should be a lot of fun, wonderful, enjoyable all of those things. But I hope very much that it’s not the best and biggest day of my and my partner’s life. because it’s just another part of the journey. and i hope we have a long one together. I wish the same for you. thanks for your blog. It helps keep me sane.

  • ASmallSarah

    Thank you! I hate that cake topper, and I hate that stupid shirt over on Pinterest that has the same kind of picture with the caption “I got one!”
    I didn’t “get one,” I fell in love with my fiance. We got each other. He’s been wonderfully involved in everything so far, because we both have very busy jobs, so we’ve divided the labor how it makes sense for us. Our venue manager actually said the other day “it’s so nice to see a groom involved” and we both looked like quizzical puppies, you know, heads to the side, eyebrows burrowed. “You mean there are weddings where the groom isn’t involved?”