So, I have of late, been overhearing the most surreal and over the top wedding conversations. I’ll be sitting at a bar, drinking my drink, and suddenly I’m overhearing a conversation about weddings that is so nuts, that I become totally convinced that I’m on some sort of episode of punk’d (blogger style). The most recent over-the-top conversation* went something like this:
Planner: So I was thinking that we could set up individual tables, scattered among the trees in the forest.
Me: Poking David, eyes wide
Planner: And then, I thought we could plant flowers to physically build a aisle on the forest floor.
Me: Poke, Poke, Poke, BLINK ????
Bride and Groom: (blase) Oh, yeah. That sounds nice. I’m sure that would work just fine.
Me: Slams head into bar
Now, what is weirdest about these conversations, is that every single time I hear one, no matter how outlandish the plans, the couple does not react in a way that seems sensible, which in my mind would be one of two ways:
Option #1: “Oh my god! That sounds amazing! That sounds incredible! That sounds out of this world!”
Option #2: “Dear Lord, that seems totally absurd.”
Nope. The response is always a blase “Eh, that sounds fine.” So, I’m afraid that I must respond to this nonsense with an open letter:
Please dial it the h*ll down. You’re freaking me out.
*Totally, totally true story. Except me slamming my head on the bar. That was a lie.