Saturday Link Roundup by Meg Keene For me, one of the best parts about this week has been the way so much of our public conversation has turned around discussing the nature of marriage, thanks to the two marriage equality cases in front of the Supreme Court this week. Yes, sometimes I listened to the “debates” (I’m not even going to dignify them by not quoting that) about marriage on NPR made me feel like I’d fallen down a rabbit hole and landed in 1995, when one of my debate topics was marriage equality (really? We’re still talking about this shit?) But the fact that we were talking about what marriage means, and how it’s changing, was so encouraging. And now, on to the links. Wedding-y In light of Liz shaving her head for children’s cancer and hair donation, a kick-ass bald bride with alopecia areata. Disposable AND compostable plates and things… in colors? Yeah, you’re welcome. Our own Emily (also of Emily Takes Photos) explains Raw photos vs. Jpegs. This was a big controversy when I got hitched, and it turns out photographers not wanting to give you raw files is not some big scam. It’s because they’re not that pretty, and they’re pretty much worthless to the laywoman (hey large chunks of data). This is why I shoot on my fancy camera in Jpeg, even though Maddie scolds me when she has to edit those photos. Buying a cancelled wedding. I can’t decide if this is brilliant, or logistically almost impossible. But hey, go shopping. This article on this history of queer African American women and marriage is fascinating. Reclaiming Wife The Atlantic, with a not terrible case for young marriage. Obviously not for everyone, but for those looking to justify a decision already made (that’s from the married at 21 Maddie, who submitted this link), this one isn’t terrible. And this line: “Marriage actually works best as a formative institution, not an institution you enter once you think you’re fully formed. We learn marriage, just as we learn language.” My friend Jordan of Oh Happy Day lives in a 500 square foot apartment with her husband and two kids (Seriously, it’s really small in real life. Way smaller than it looks in these pictures.) She’s one of the worlds most visually talented ladies, and she makes it WORRRKKKK, which I find so empowering. No, you don’t need to have it all to have kids. (Her kids used to sleep in a closet, and not like Harry Potter). A writer with a baby. Or pregnant, and not ready to join the cult of motherhood. I could have written this when I was pregnant. Thank god, being a mother IS just being a writer with a baby. General Interest We’ve been getting emails lately asking if APW can delve into the structural underpinnings of feminism, ie, what feminism is to the APW staff, and how it works on this site (because, really, we can’t tackle what feminism is for every feminist everywhere, so we’re gonna limit this). It’s such a good request (What? They’re not teaching feminism in school these days?) and we’ll get on it. In the meantime however, reading If I Admit That ‘Hating Men’ Is a Thing, Will You Stop Turning It Into a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy? is a damn good place to start. Seriously. Read it. All of it. And then send it to some men in your life. There’s no such thing as a “perfect” feminist. One brillant bit is here, “I blame this Capital F Feminism concept that there is a code a “public feminist” is supposed to follow that doesn’t allow us to be fucking people with insecurities and desires and mental illnesses and a list of mistakes like any other human.” (Said as a public feminist). Because divided we fall, indeed. This story about woman owned indie retailer Nasty Gal in the New York Times pretty much made my day. It explores the difference between bootstrapping and Venture Capital (and why VC doesn’t always get us), and reminded me of my abiding love for women small business owners (and how tough as nails they always are). It seems like every week, some “real journalist” is lambasting personal essays as “the end of journalism.” But this article on why personal essays are important makes the case for why personal essays are worthwhile, particularly for women. It also delves into the public shaming and personal-attack-trolling that goes along with being a women who writes online (sadly, much of this comes from other women, let’s fix that). This week, blogger Hilary Bowman-Smart started a trend on Twitter with #safetytipsforladies. The idea was a response to reading one too many articles about steps that women can take to avoid getting raped, and it wins everything. And as if that wasn’t good enough, feminist Kate Harding created #edgyheadlines, flipping those “can women have it all” stories on their gendered head. I want to marry this thread. Particularly this tweet. ThinkProgress covered the 2013 TV Staffing Brief by publishing a list of shows that are without women or people of color on their writing staff, and it’s worth taking a look. Like hey, Veep, a show about a woman VP, has no women writers on staff. Or people of color. Why does this matter? Because our writing is always somewhat limited by our experiences, and it would really be nice to get more diverse perspectives on TV. And oh yeah, have more awesome jobs for women and people of color. Lets end this light. Did anyone else see Kristen Stewart’s hair at the Kids’ Choice Awards? Or is Maddie the only one who cares about what the tweens are into right now? Anyway, Mads wants us to do a comparison: K.Stew’s hair. Meg’s hair. (Editors note: holy HELL do I look pregnant there. And I was just 21 weeks.) —Meg Meg Keene Founder & Editor-In-Chief Meg is the Founder and EIC of APW. She has written two best selling wedding books: A Practical Wedding and A Practical Wedding Planner. Meg has her BFA in Drama from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts. She lives in Oakland, CA with her husband and two children. For more than you ever wanted to know about Meg, you can visit MegKeene.com.