How do you want to get engaged?

The cultural narrative is pretty clear: girl waits for boy to ask. Girl starts going slightly crazy because she feels like she has no say in her future. Boy plans big surprise ask. Girl says yes, proceeds to take over and plan a crazy wedding (and the rest of the boys life). The cultural narrative is also bullshit. Maybe you’re two girls (or two boys). Maybe you want to ask your person. Probably you’re both wanting to discuss your future together before you take next steps. There are lots of ways to get engaged, so take some time to think about what might be best for you. Dig into our engagement essays to get started.

Have some deep conversations.

Getting engaged isn’t about picking bridesmaids dresses, it’s about deciding you’re ready to get married. Dive into our Reclaiming Wife section, to think about what getting hitched really means (to you). Read Marriage As Mini-Socialism, to think about money and partnership. Think about the name change conundrum, and ponder gender dynamics and marriage.


Blah, blah, blah big conversations. Let’s go ring shopping! Hip engagement rings, non-diamond engagement rings, engagement ring roundups, we’ve got you covered. Plus, check out our jewelry sponsors. They make awesome and affordable stuff.

You for sure don't have to get engaged.

Browse Real Weddings

Sure, you’re not engaged yet. But you still have full permission to start thinking about what kind of wedding you might want to have. And um, looking at pretty pictures and stuff. If you’re feeling ashamed about your wedding browsing, stop it already. Of course you want to think about what’s next.

Buy The Book

You’re probably not planning a wedding yet, but if you’re thinking about getting engaged, the APW book,  Practical Wedding: Creative Solutions for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration, is still a good place to start. It has sections on engagement, and a list big questions you should start discussing now. Plus, it’ll make sure you start wedding planning on the right foot. Meg spent a long time summing up the most helpful tips she knew and all the best stuff she’s learned writing this blog in a compact 60,000 words. Plus, pretty soon you’ll want to pass it to your Mama and say, “Mom, look. Aisle runners are a totally made up thing,” and she’ll have to believe you because it’s in a book with historical source material and everything.