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Wedding Brain: A Disorder That Affects the Cerebral Cortex

I'm sorry, where was I?

Wedding Brain noun [ˈwe-diŋ ˈbrān]

a disorder that affects the cerebral cortex causing anxiety, stress, procrastination and the inability to stay focused… Ooohh I wonder if Etsy has any vintage brooches from 1950?

My friend told me the average bride-to-be (or groom) spends about forty hours* a week thinking about their wedding. Looking at the extremely scientific diagram above, it’s clear to see why.

This would be fine if I had an extra forty hours a week to spend farting around on the internet, but I’m an adult and actually have things that need to get done. It feels crappy when The Fiancé comes home and I have to tell him, “Sorry the dishes are still dirty and the living room is a mess and I haven’t showered in two days, but I got trapped on Pinterest looking at nail art.” To be fair, my nails DO need to be their prettiest on my wedding day.

This is also really frustrating when you work from home (or near a computer) but can’t seem to get any work done because wedding thoughts keep popping into your head. God forbid you don’t look it up IMMEDIATELY or that idea will either be gone forever or plague your thoughts until you do give in and research it.

So what can you do?

  • For starters, maybe cut back a little on the coffee (helllooo over-active brain). I’m already an extremely hyper, anxious person so caffeine is awful for me. Deliciously awful.
  • Next, read the book A Practical Wedding by Meg Keene. Seriously. Go now. I’ve already read it once and I’m on my second go. I’m also having The Fiancé read it and when he’s done it’s going to my mum. In a very short summary, it gets your focus back on the important things about the wedding (why you’re getting married) and off of the silly stuff (the font on your monogrammed napkins).
  • Designate specific days during the week for wedding planning and on the other days wedding talk is off limits. To be honest, the latter didn’t work too well for me. I found myself sneaking around my own rules and emailing photographers. Oops. But this at least helps with not bombarding your partner with wedding talk. If you’re obsessive like me, you might want to write up a daily schedule to give yourself specific time allotments that are assigned for wedding stuff.
  • Keep a notepad with you at all times. If an idea pops into your head, write it down and research it later during a designated wedding planning time. Fight the urge to drop everything and look it up on the spot.
  • And last but not least, breathe. Relax. Take a break. If you feel yourself on the verge of a breakdown then do something to take your mind off of it. Go to the gym, read a (non-wedding related) book or take a nap. Or just elope and get it over with.


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