APW is a moderated and generally positive web community. We encourage civil debate and disagreement. However, we view APW comments as a safe space, and moderate it to keep it that way. That means:
Don’t make personal attacks. Disagreeing is fine. Stating that someone is a terrible feminist or a bad mother is not. But sometimes it’s not that black and white. If you’re worried about how to phrase your comment, keep it personal to your experiences. “I chose to keep my last name because I don’t like the way women have historically been treated as property,” is a much more welcome comment than, “Changing your last name is just giving in to the patriarchy.”
Don’t leave critical comments on reader wedding posts. This is not the place to start a critical discussion. People who are being brave enough to share one of the most important and emotional moments of their lives deserve your respect. A mean (or even intellectually critical) comment on a Wedding Graduate post is like peeing in their guest book.
Check your tone. Well-thought disagreement is welcome here, but snark is not. And more often than not, our comments are moderated for tone rather than content. So keep inflammatory language to a minimum and watch out for knee-jerk reactions. We hate pulling smart commentary just because it’s phrased badly, but we will.
If you’re debating, please do so with integrity. This means that if you want to be constructive, don’t hide behind an anonymous comment.
Our sponsored and partner posts are paid content from a business we’ve consciously chosen to work with. Out of respect to the business that paid for a particular post, we reserve the right to remove comments that we don’t feel are in their best interest. These sponsors and partners are how we are able to stay online. If you want to ask us about our choice to work with someone, please send us an email. APW’s mission is to promote discussion on weddings and marriage, not on the business model that allows us to facilitate those conversations.
We are not going to dedicate space on the site to discussing the comment policy or editorial choices, but if you feel you’ve been unfairly moderated, or simply have a question about comment moderation, you are welcome to email the team. Any follow-up comments to this effect will be removed promptly.
We will remove comments that violate the comment policy.
We reserve the right to remove comments that are far enough off topic that they threaten to derail the whole conversation. This does not necessarily mean we think the comment was in some way bad—just that if we’re talking about feminist wedding dresses, we don’t want to moderate an argument about the presidential race.
We have an “Everyone has one day to be an asshole” rule on APW. If you’re having a bad day, and leave some aggressive or mean comments, we’ll pull them down. If we look at your comment history and realize you have a history of leaving comments that drastically violate the comment policy, you will be blacklisted from the site simply because we don’t have a large enough staff to keep moderating inappropriate comments.
We have an automatic spam filter that eats comments that look like spam. However! The filter sometimes eats comments at random, so feel free to alert us if you sense a problem.
We have a community comment moderation policy. Any reader can red flag a comment, putting it up for review.