April 29, 2016

Yesterday

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What Do I Do If He Never Wants to Have Children?

Sometimes when you know, you know

by Stephanie Kaloi
Q: My partner and I have been together nearly six years. We love each other and are both very committed to making the relationship work. Here’s the thing, though: I definitely want children, and he’s still deciding. I love him so much, but kids (or the lack thereof) are a deal breaker. I don’t want to continue the relationship (as painful as it is to say) if he never wants to have children. He’s started speaking to a psychologist about it, which is great. My problem is that I keep hoping he’ll come back one night saying, &#... read more
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These Trained Photojournalists Are All About the Candids

Plus $200 off any wedding collection

by Najva Sol
At 43rd Ave. Photography, the motto is, “We’ll show you what your day looked like,” which is something that sounds straightforward until you’re knee deep in searching for a photographer and starting to realize that lots of photographers tend toward highly stylized and heavily edited final results. If your vibe is more about a bright, accurate depiction of reality without a whole lot of filters, then you’re looking for photojournalism. And San Francisco–based Nicole and her partner Stephen at 43rd Ave. Photography ... read more

A couple of days ago

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Surprise: I’m Muslim and in a Feminist Marriage

Because you forgot to apply your intersectional feminism to me

If Donald Trump’s version of Muslims were true, I’m probably the most un-Muslim Muslim who’s walking—sans burqa—on the streets of LA. Yes, I pray five times a day on the regular (okay fine, four, only because it’s really really hard to wake up in the mornings), I recite a different verse from the Quran every night before I go to bed—but I also believe you should be allowed to love whomever you want to, wear whatever you think looks good, and not rely on your husband to bring the turkey bacon home. It’s a strange time to be a muslim [&... read more
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There Has to Be a Better Way to Choose a Mattress, Right?

Help me, Internet, you're my only hope

by Maddie Eisenhart
When Michael graduated from college and got an adult job, the first thing he spent his paycheck on was a king size mattress. Because after sleeping on twin extra long dorm beds for the four preceding years of our relationship, having enough space for two people to sprawl out in a host of geometric shapes felt like the world’s greatest extravagance. And at first, it was. But over the past decade, the once extravagant king bed started to become a real pain in my… back. Mattress Shopping Is Awkward But when it came time to research a... read more

April 26, 2016

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Learning That My Dad Never Loved Me Perfectly

The healing power of our father-daughter dance

I grew up listening to my dad’s favorite music. The oldies station in New York, 101 CBS FM, was the only station we listened to in the car. Otis Redding, The Supremes, Aretha. Dad loved to blast music in the living room, and Bob Marley was often on the rotation. When I was in college and my friends would sit around smoking pot and listening to Legend, I’d be brought right back to my childhood. I also inherited my dad’s love of listening to songs on repeat. He once drove from New York to Washington, D.C. listening to “Sad Mood” [&hellip... read more
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This Is What Inclusive Wedding Photography Looks Like

With free travel to the ENTIRE United States (yeah, including Hawaii & Alaska)

by Najva Sol
You know that that thing that happens when you’re engaged and the rest of the world stops viewing you as a complex human being with a unique back story and just sees you as The Bride (or Groom)? You know who, in a million years, would never ever do that? Nadiya Nacorda of Imani Fine Art Photography. Nadiya gets this—and you—because she’s been there. While planning her own wedding (during the same year she launched her business because she’s ambitious like that), Nadiya found herself navigating the same kinds of complicated ... read more

April 25, 2016

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How Beyoncé’s Powerful New Album ‘Lemonade’ Speaks to the Truth About Marriage

What's worse? Looking jealous or crazy?

by Meg Keene
One of my girlfriends and I always talk about what we consider to the basic fact of life: women need to be able to provide for themselves (and their kids) on a moment's notice. While being a mother and wife are both important parts of our lives, our most important job will always be the one that pays the bills. Why? Because men can be dumb. Because you never know... read more
wedding guest outfit from modcloth

5 Wedding Guest Outfits You Will Absolutely Wear Again

Because no one needs a closet full of outfits collecting dust

by Maddie Eisenhart
No matter how many weddings I go to, how many special occasion dresses I own, when it comes time to pack up for a celebratory weekend, I inevitably declare closet bankruptcy. I’ve made the mistake too many times of buying a dress on a whim before a special event, only to have it sit, unworn, for years after. Which is why I’ve begun to employ two rules when shopping for wedding guest attire: Nothing too expensive. No amount of specialness is worth it if I’m only going to wear it a few times. Versatility is the name of the game. If it... read more

April 22, 2016

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APW Happy Hour

When doves cry, like, a lot

by Najva Sol
HEY APW, Najva here. Don’t even know what to say other than: Prince is dead. My personal celebrity doppelganger and the human I consider the most talented live musician I have ever seen is no more. I guess other things have happened. I’ve had poke for the first time in LA, hung out with our writer Faz, and even got to spend a few nights in the old Disney cottages Snow White was based on. But really: Prince. Is. Dead. Let’s have a moment of silence for his gender-bending, shade-throwing, style-icon-status, unstoppable genius (and ignore... read more
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What We Loved about Our $32K Wedding in the Phillipines

NBD, just the the first time she's ever seen him cry

by A Practical Wedding
I was relaxed the entire morning until we drove up to the church. As soon as I stepped out of the car and stood before the church's closed doors, I felt nervous. When the doors opened I cried upon seeing everyone—our friends, our families, and our colleagues. I only stopped because I saw Brian bawling. It surprised me because I've never seen him cry... read more

April 21, 2016

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Do We Really Need Professional Photos of Our Courthouse Wedding?

AAPW: is this really something we'll regret? Because I kind of doubt it.

by Stephanie Kaloi
Q: I’m getting married in November 2016, and we’ve finalized the majority of our plans: venue, catering and alcohol, florist, and DJ. However, the one thing that we haven’t budgeted for (at all) is photography. I’m not a picture person. I never remember to take them, and the few picture frames I own are filled with pictures that were inserted about a decade ago and were never changed. In fact, I don’t have a single picture of my fiancé in a frame. The few pictures we have of ourselves together were posted on social media... read more
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The 3 New Glö Features That Will Make Guest Organization Easier

Weddings made (even) easier

by Najva Sol
It’s hard enough keeping track of my daily life… but add wedding planning on top of it? I can’t even imagine. Even just to get through normal work and life, I swear by websites and handy apps, systems (that I don’t have to build) to keep me abreast of a million moving parts. Which is why I find it exciting that one of our longtime APW sponsors, Glö, has been dedicated to streamlining the wedding guest organization process since day one. I don’t know how they do it, but the team at Glö keeps pumping out new features... read more

April 20, 2016

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Is Your Marriage Making You Accidentally Co-Dependent?

And is independence overrated?

by Stephanie Kaloi
Our household and the responsibilities that come with it have always been a little more egalitarian than the norm. If he cooks, I do the dishes. If I sweep the house, he’s the one on hands and knees with a tub of hot water and Borax. But there are still things that one or the other of us does. Marriage means co-dependence, at least to a degree, and it’s always a struggle to figure out exactly how to balance that. A few months ago, however, my husband switched to working nights, which has meant that all of a sudden there are more things... read more
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Why You Might Actually Want a Budget and Not Just Need One

I used to be afraid that a budget would restrict us. Instead it set us free.

by Maddie Eisenhart
A few short years ago, Michael and I looked at our bank statements and realized we were $33,000 in debt (not including our gigantic student loans). The story of how we got so deep is nebulous at best—lots of little unexpected things added up. Our wedding cost more than we planned for. Our dog got sick. We moved. Life happened. But how we stayed in debt is easier to pin down. I was afraid of budgets. My family is split into two distinct factions: hyper-vigilant budgeters who never seem to have any fun and carefree go-with-the-flow people who never... read more

April 19, 2016

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How Can You Make Your Wedding Fun Without Dancing?

The Cupid Shuffle isn't for everyone, you know?

by Meg Keene
Two of the questions we field the most frequently about wedding receptions are, “We aren’t going to have dancing. What should we substitute for that?” and “Will a wedding without dancing be fun?” As far as I’m concerned, the answers are as follows: You either have dancing, or you don’t. There is no substitute. And, of course it will be fun. Super fun, in fact. Think about it. Most parties you attend probably don’t have dancing, and they’re a delight. The truth is, if you don’t have dancing,... read more