September 26, 2016


Our Wedding Completely Fell Apart in the Best Way

We still hugged so hard that my dress ripped

“You know, it’s no coincidence that we find ourselves here. While our backyard isn’t a destination for most weddings, it is for this one. That’s because this is where their story began. It’s a story that’s eight and a half years, two states, hundreds of miles, and now two rings in the making. And it’s all led back to here. It’s a story that began right where we now stand.” Ask any happily engaged couple planning an intimate backyard wedding about how they envision their day. They probably wouldn’t say, “You know what I’d really... read more

September 23, 2016

woman in kitchen with tea cup on table

APW Happy Hour

I'm good, I think. How are you?

by Stephanie Kaloi
Hey APW, In the wake of Terence Crutcher’s murder, I feel like I’ve been doing a whole lot less speaking and a whole lot more learning this week. Example: I read this article from PBS about how PTSD can be triggered every time someone shares a video of a black man being shot. That one hundred percent makes sense to me, and while I’m not one to share the videos anyway, I don’t think I had ever paused to think through the possible ramifications of doing so. I’ve also been doing a lot more learning about the presidential race... read more

September 22, 2016

woman standing alone in the sun

How Do I Talk to My Brother About the Way He Treats His Girlfriend?

If they break up, I'm not sure who I would choose

by Liz Moorhead
Q:I absolutely love my younger brother’s partner. They are pre-engaged, but she’s felt like a part of the family for years, and is a wonderful and generous person. But I have a real problem with how my brother treats her. Behavior that I used to brush off as youthful immaturity on my brother’s part (like irrational jealousy and flaking on very basic boyfriend duties, hurting her feelings) has not gone away and is troubling to witness. I’ve come to think of her as one of my best friends, as close to a sister as I’ll ever get... read more
family photo from watassa

It’s Already Time to Book Your Holiday Photos

Mini sessions + jewelry discounts + wedding album credits? Oh yes

by Stephanie Kaloi
Although our kid is almost eight, last year was the first year that my family of three ever actually sent out holiday cards. We had talked about it from time to time over the years, but usually neither of us ever got serious about actually making the cards until the holidays were upon us… which is way too late. That’s why we’re having a new set of family photos taken in two weeks. Time is precious, y’all (and also our most recent family photos are almost three years old). In the hopes that you too will plan ahead, we’ve... read more

September 21, 2016

rihanna and drake at the vmas

Proposing in Public Is the Worst and You Should Never Do It

Repeat after me: I will not propose in public

by Stephanie Kaloi
A few months ago, Chinese diver and all-around badass Olympian and woman He Zi won a fucking silver medal at the 2016 Olympic Games. A silver medal, guys! That is huge! I would actually love to be able to link to a video of the silver medal winning dive, because I think you guys would really like it, but unfortunately all of the videos I can find are all about her boyfriend, and how he proposed to He while she was standing on the podium, receiving her fucking silver medal. The world was just totally jazzed about this picture-perfect moment: what’... read more

This Is One Sentence I Am Sick and Tired of Hearing at Work

You were expecting someone else?

People often get to know me through my public speaking and articles before they meet me in person, and it seems like everyone has preconceived notions about someone they only know through text. The most common reaction I get—from people who like my work, no less, and especially from other women—is, “I didn’t expect you to be so short!” I write articles about women and careers from a feminist POV, run a feminist web shop, and produce the annual Bullish Conference, none of which are pursuits involving physical prowess. Well, I... read more

September 20, 2016

pig bank

How You Can Solve Your Marriage’s Most Important Money Questions

You can do this

by Meg Keene
Chances are, at some point, most of us probably got a bare-bones financial education, or else we wouldn’t know how to write a check. But otherwise? As a country we’re pretty financially illiterate—only 37 percent of Americans can pass this basic financial literacy quiz. When that news broke, I asked the APW staff if they were willing to take it. We have a team full of really smart ladies, and they all scored well on the quiz. But after they took it, they pointed out that the quiz really just covered basic math concepts. (Q: How fast... read more
san francisco wedding photographer - dustin cantrell (27)

Your Wedding Adventure Begins with This Bay Area Photographer

Get your Meryl Streep on, girl

by Stephanie Kaloi
At some point in the planning process, you may have had someone tell you, “No one is going to care about your wedding as much as you do.” And sure, it may be true that no one else is going to have quite the same stakes in making sure the chairs are not ugly, or your shoes are the right shade of sea foam to match your nail polish, or your dress has the appropriate level of bling. (Hey, we all have our wedding kryptonite.) But, if you’re lucky—or smart—you’ll hire a vendor or two from the special breed of people that [&hellip... read more

September 19, 2016

bride and groom standing together

Don’t Like Your Married Name? Change It Back

Trust me, no one else will even care

by Anonymous
I didn’t know that it wasn’t right for me to change my name until I changed my name. I suppose there’s more to it than that. I waffled back and forth during our whole engagement, but eventually decided to add Hisname to the end of my name, giving myself two middle names. Last June, we got married. At first, I loved signing my husband’s name. Two t’s at the end was really fun to write. It was novel and thrilling. Then school started (I teach eighth grade), and every day I heard a name that wasn’t mine. I made decisions;... read more
bride and groom holding hands

Secular Wedding Ceremony Scripts You Can Use When You Get Married

by Stephanie Kaloi
For something that can take as little as ten minutes, your wedding ceremony is a wildly important part of your day—after all, the ceremony is when you get married, and the act of marriage is why you’re all there celebrating. If you’re having a religious wedding, your wedding ceremony script is often provided for you by your religious leader, and is sometimes quite a bit longer than ten minutes. (Full mass with communion? You’ll be there awhile.) If you’re opting for a secular wedding, you’ll probably find that you’... read more

September 16, 2016

woman sitting at table reading magazine

APW Happy Hour

We're gonna do some learning

by Stephanie Kaloi
Hey APW, So here’s a fun fact: My favorite bit of content that we run is our collection of open threads. I love them because they’re super interactive, because they provoke a lot of thought, and because they are almost always born out of conversations we’re having on the team Slack—which was the case with this week’s open thread on emotional affairs. The idea to open up that conversation happened after we realized we were devoting an hour or so of our work time to the topic, and coming up with zero consensus. So… I wrote... read more

September 15, 2016


My Fiancé Refuses to Brush His Teeth

I mean... really though

by Liz Moorhead
Q: My fiancé does not brush his teeth in the morning. It took me a long time to realize it when we first started dating because we were long distance, but I slowly wised up when he finally moved to my city and into my apartment. It didn’t take an undercover operation to figure it out—it became pretty clear to me when his (really, really remarkably bad) morning breath never seemed to go away. Then I started paying closer attention and I realized I never heard him go into the bathroom and brush his teeth in the morning. I wouldn’t [&hellip... read more
bride modeling celia grace gown

10 Beautiful Ethical Wedding Dresses That Will Make You Feel as Good as You Look

Wedding fashion + ethics? Yes, please

by Stephanie Kaloi
Diana ($2,150) Depending on how old you are (and how long you’ve been eyeing wedding gowns), it might come as a surprise to know that the world of ethical fashion we know today hasn’t always existed—and what was out there wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. In fact, when Celia Grace Co-Founder and CEO Marcie Muehlke was getting married in 2009, she couldn’t find a wedding dress that matched both her personal and political tastes—nothing was equally aesthetically pleasing and sustainably made. So, like all #BossQueens, she... read more

September 14, 2016

Gaia (12 of 12)

The Surprising Things a Puppy Taught Me About Marriage

Practice makes perfect, right?

by Maddie Eisenhart
When you first get a puppy, they tell you to socialize it as often as possible. Get her comfortable around new people, introduce her to new smells, teach her how to be polite, to ask for permission, encourage her to be friendly and non-fearful. It turns out those things are not inborn. Like anything worth having, a good dog is something you have to work at. Particularly when said dog stands a good chance of outweighing both you and your partner in adulthood. Beta Testing for Babies There are many reasons couples choose to get puppies. Companionship.... read more
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