reclaiming wife

by Lisa M. G. Dennis (Giggles)

I love traditions. I love the anchoring they give us. One year into our marriage I wrote a post about how we were establishing our own holiday traditions, figuring out what mattered to both of us from our families and how we were going to make it work with our new family. And I must admit that as our first anniversary approached I stressed more than one logically should about the fact that we’d get ONE shot to establish “things we do every anniversary” and spent more time than I should have trying to figure out something meaningfully significant we could do every anniversary, understanding that life would change and take us different places as the years went by. With three anniversaries under our belt, I can look back and laugh. The meaningfully significant thing we’ve done every time was something that happened without any thought at all. And I love it.

While the big traditions are fun, I like the little ones as well. I’ve been thinking about what makes something a tradition rather than a habit. While the two can be used as synonyms, they aren’t the same. One of the definitions of tradition is “a specific custom or practice of long standing.” But I don’t think my long-standing practice of flossing and then brushing my teeth before bed every night counts as a tradition. I’d never call my almost lifelong custom of eating Cheerios for breakfast a tradition. My practice of doing the dark laundry before the light laundry—not a tradition. Nor is how I fold my socks. Those are habits.

Over my many years in post-secondary school I’ve taken four classes that changed my world (surprisingly, only one had to do with my specific area of study). My last semester of my bachelor’s degree I took a folklore class. It changed how I view my community, whoever happens to be in my community at that time. One way to describe folk art is that it is taking the everyday mundane of life and making it beautiful, meaningful. It’s decorating the pot you cook in, weaving a pattern into the blanket you sleep under, pinning a flower to the hat that keeps you safe from the sun, the flourish you add when preparing the evening meal. Continue reading Reclaiming Wife: Daily Connections

* Aimee, Communications Manager & Patrick, Electrical Engineer * Photographer: Jillian West of Little Bat Photography (APW Sponsor) * Soundtrack for reading: “Love & Some Verses” by Iron & Wine *

One sentence sum up of the wedding vibe: Violins, Whales, and Winnebagos.

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Bodega Bay Elopement Wedding (26)Bodega Bay Elopement Wedding (67)Bodega Bay Elopement Wedding (28) Continue reading Wordless Wedding: Aimee & Patrick’s Bodega Bay Elopement

by Anonymous

I lost something today. Something valuable to me.

I suppose that is not right, as I know where it went, and in fact it was I who gave it away. And willingly. But it feels like a loss. And it is my loss alone. For my friends remind me that this is what I wanted. And it was. And it is.

My husband does not see it as a loss. For him, it is gain. It is a symbol of all the gains we have made together, all the struggles we have overcome, and our brand new commitment to each other.

And I agree. For all those things are true. But when I look at that new piece of plastic, with those two words that separately are familiar and now, put together, look strange. I miss the old combination.

For in giving up my name, I did not expect to feel the girl attached to it drift away. The girl who, before him, lived and learned and loved. And with him, slowly added an “us” to a “me” when decisions had to be made.

And this was an “us” decision. Made with two loving hearts and two thoughtful heads in the joy and expectations of a burgeoning family. And that is how us decisions should be made. So I do not regret any of it. Continue reading The Joy (And Sorrow) Of The Choosing

APW Happy Hour!

We’re here! Friday open thread. For me, this week lives in my mind in a string of pictures: taking the baby to his first wedding, my first Mother’s Day, and our first APW shoot in almost a year. (I’m not pregnant any more! I don’t have a teeny tiny baby! I can work a long intense day on location!) The week was a work full of business stuff, good and stressful, but it included a work day like this, so I consider myself lucky as hell:

Meg Keene

(That magic coming to the blog soon.)

How was your week? It’s your open thread! Hop on it!

xo

Meg

Highlights of APW this week

Being Black, Feminist, Throughly Girly, and Conflicted.” On sorting out symbols and why they matter during wedding planning.

My manafesta (as a commenter called it) on women and work. This is a big one.

It Stands Alone.” What a wedding can mean, even when the marriage is disolved. This re-framed weddings for me, and I write about them for a living.

Rachel on the modern reality of planning a wedding far from friends and family (movie montages be damned).

Photo taken by Natalie at belle-flower

Sponsored Post

Screen shot from a Minted video promoting their designers 

Minted is one of my favorite places to buy paper goods. There, I said it. I’m not currently in the market for wedding invitations (though luckily, lots of you are), but New Year’s cards are one of my important traditions, and I use Minted every single year. Their save the dates, invitations, cards, and baby announcements are impeccably curated (and lots of the save the dates and holiday cards let you use pictures, which I love). But they also happen to be a San Francisco company who’s very involved in the creative community here—and I like supporting local small businesses.

But with Minted, it goes a step further. All of Minted’s designs are created exclusively for Minted by their community of independent designers. Just like APW, Minted is a community that’s built around valuing independent artists. One of their team recently explained to me how their process works. Every time I buy a holiday card, or you buy a wedding invitation, an email is sent directly to the designer that created it, telling them a little about who you are, and letting them know that a (generous) portion of the profit of the sale will be added to their next check. This lets designers do work they love, without worrying about doing all the marketing and printing themselves. Beyond that, Minted’s prices are great. For invitations, they’ve recently expanded their offerings to include letterpress (high five!), but also offer you the options of their luxurious Signature Paper, 100% Recycled Matte Paper, Luxe Museum Board (triple the thickness of their Signature Paper), or gorgeous Pearlescent Paper.

Today, in true APW style, I’m thrilled to get to highlight two Minted designers. Maddie and I interviewed Laura Condouris and Trista Sydloski-Tesch, and we are delighted to share a little bit of their stories.

Photos clockwise from top right: Laura at work, Watercolor Frame Invitation, Mantilla Spanish Lace Invitation

During a reception, my favorite moment is dancing to old R& B or hip-hop, and, even better, watching the older family members dance.

My artistic philosophy is, in a word, honesty. Being yourself, being playful and not taking yourself too seriously, honing your individual style and not riding the coattails of others, or mindlessly following trends

As a calligrapher, I do most of my work at my dining room table, since it’s the only place where there’s enough space to spread out the dozens of envelopes that need to dry before they get stacked up together. Though I definitely feel more at peace and “together” when it’s not total chaos, there are often little half-finished bits and bobs piled everywhere at the end of the day.

I try to imagine a look or a color scheme a couple might be going for—something that’s a bit different than what’s already out there.  Once I get what might be a strong idea, I’ll start with a few sketches for the layout, and get out my pens or paintbrushes to work on something to scan or reproduce in Illustrator.

I think 20s/prohibition-era style is going to be huge this year after the release of the new film version of The Great Gatsby. So maybe I’ll do something art deco-inspired?

I really like my invitation Mantilla Spanish Lace, because I’m so into hand-drawn patterns. I wanted to do an invitation that incorporated lace, but that wasn’t too “girly” and was more modern. I was inspired by the beautiful edging on the mantilla veil that I wore in my own wedding.

I honestly think Minted customers have very good taste. Coming to Minted allows them to find and support an artist whose style fits their own.

I’m a full-time calligrapher and designer, but I’ve recently started doing stand-up comedy, which is incredibly nerve-racking.  Being totally dependent on the audience’s reaction is completely terrifying, but it’s also exhilarating when you get a big laugh!

 

 

Photos clockwise from top left: Trista at work, Ballard Nautical Invitation, Whimsical Kelp Invitation

My philosophy is to create beautiful and original work that’s inspired by the past, but modern in its sensibilities and is a bit edgy. I like to create things that are unexpected, a bit rock and roll, and a bit like, “I do it because I can.” I love flourishes, being dramatic, and telling a story with my work.

It’s usually over the top, involves things that are handcrafted and handmade, always has texture in some way, and has an edge. My thing as a designer is my work is definitely feminine but has a hardness to it.

I’m conflicted in aesthetics as a designer. Here are some examples of my varied interests: my favorite shows are Sons of Anarchy and Sailor Moon. I was a metal head in high school that also happened to be a varsity cheerleader. If I could look a certain way every day I would wear a full lace gown à la Jane Austen but be completely covered in tattoos like Kat Von D. I’m kind of obsessed with the idea of a beautiful but hardcore woman, and I think the duality of tough and soft, feminine and masculine shows in my design work. Continue reading Minted: Wedding Invitations by Independent Designers

* Lori, Special Ed Teacher & Raj, Doctor *

The cake was pink. Hand to God, I didn’t notice until the next morning at brunch when I asked someone when the cake turned pink. “It was always pink. We thought that must have meant something to you guys.” So I guess there’s an argument for having lots of personal touches at your wedding: if something goes wrong, people might think it was intentional.

Our wedding day turned out to be the coldest day of the year in Pensacola. I wish I could tell you I didn’t notice that, but to be quite honest, my internal monologue for the first minute of our wedding was, “Don’t shiver, don’t shiver, this is on video.” The temperature in December had, for the most part, been in the 70s. Right around the time people started coming into town, it got cold and rainy, though the sun did come out on our wedding day. So except for the winter coats during dinner, you can’t tell from the photos that it was below freezing.

Our programs only got handed out because as guests were arriving, my sister-in-law Dawn asked me if there were any, then went and passed them out herself. We left the sparklers for our exit at home. Of 150 people on our guest list, fewer than fifty came; some of the no replies really stung. And it was a lonely several months leading up to the wedding, living in a new place far from all of my friends while Raj did training there, doing most of the wedding stuff on my own. Plenty of times, particularly in the last few weeks, I wondered whether a wedding was really worth all of the work and stress.

I am here to tell you that, for us, it absolutely was. Every bit of it. Because of the people who did come.

Hands down, the best decision we made was to rent a huge beach house. We wanted a laid-back wedding, and our top priority was to be able to spend as much time as possible with our guests, who are scattered around the country and beyond. The house ate up a third of our budget, but served as our venue for the rehearsal dinner, wedding reception, and post-wedding brunch, as well as housing our families and most of the wedding party. It was the turn-around for our wedding morning 5K and the site of an epic game of Scattergories with fifteen of our closest friends. It gave us the gift of time with our loved ones outside the official events and the fun of watching them get to know one another. Continue reading Wedding Graduate: Lori & Raj’s Rented Beach House Wedding