Back in March 2009, Kate Harrison Photography (loooonnnngggg time APW sponsor and I) decided to hatch a plan to make some magic happen as the economy continued to fall apart in slow motion. So Kate decided she was going to give away wedding photography to an APW reader, and after some discussion, we decided that it should go to someone who was experiencing some economic hardship. The contest we came up with was called Local Squared, because we wanted to do some good for Northern California, which is home for both of us.
Needless to say, I’ve been waiting to post the winners wedding for a long long time, and today I get to bring you Christen & Seth. There wedding makes my soul sing in a million ways. It’s in the lovely Mendocino, where my grandmother lived for years, so each feature of the small down is familiar and well loved to me. It sings sweetly of the ocean, which I love. But more than I that, I love the way Christen talks about coming to grips with having a very traditional Catholic service. Because for all our wedding looked indie in pictures, we had a deeply traditional service, something I came to love for all the reasons Christen lists. So you’re in for a real treat today. And the pictures. Ohmygod. I, um, couldn’t help but use a lot of them, since I want to eat them all up. And with that, Christen:
Seth and I met seven years ago in the tiny, storybook village of Mendocino, CA—a windswept, coastal town frozen in time and in many ways isolated from the “real world”. Seth was living and working in Mendocino, 20 miles down a dirt road, in a one room cabin at the heart of a redwood forest. I was living in San Francisco and working as a theatre actress (while juggling other jobs) and jumped at the opportunity to perform in the bucolic village of Mendocino. The rest is long-winded and juicy, but I don’t have time to go into that. Our individual journeys up until that point were rambling to say the least— I’m still amazed that our paths crossed in the most unlikely of places. But wham, 7 years later, here we are.
We chose Mendocino as the wedding location because it represents our beginning and is dear to our hearts. We are California transplants, so all of our family and many friends are from far flung parts of the country and world. We realized that a Mendocino wedding would be difficult for many people– travel time and costs would be prohibitive. Therefore, we wanted the journey and weekend to be a magical escape for those willing and able to make the trip. Despite the obstacles and difficulties along the way, we tried to keep all aspects of the wedding focused on family and friends and our gratitude for the role they play in our lives. I am still amazed and exhausted that we pulled it off. While it was fabulous, worth it, and one of the best days of my life, I am also very glad it is over.
The wedding planning process wasn’t easy. I always assumed I’d get married, but never envisioned or imagined the details. Added to that– I’m a pleaser, a second guesser, and kinda shy. Many aspects of a wedding—the planning, the actual event—are a nightmare to someone like me. I worry too much about other people’s opinions, feelings, and expectations and I tend to put other people’s needs first. This makes me adaptable and flexible and easy to be around, but leads to difficulty when trying to plan a wedding and blend such a diverse group of people. Seth was raised by hippy, intellectual, non-conforming, artist parents in isolated parts of Newfoundland and Maine, while I was raised by devout, hardworking, but fun-loving, conservative Catholics from the Midwest. Though our family’s had met and got along swimmingly, I worried a lot about pleasing both parties and blending these diverse communities.
The idea that every aspect of the wedding would be a reflection of ME, the BRIDE was horrifying. I cared deeply about many things, those choices were easy. But despite the myth, a wedding is not the Bride’s Big Day. Or at least, I don’t think it should be. And it’s not even the Bride and Groom’s big day. In a lot of ways, it’s about everyone else (our parents, our families, our fabulous friends) and I’m absolutely ok with that. While Seth and I went into the process wanting to throw a party that reflected US and do things OUR way, I think this is naive. Weddings are all about bringing people together, so compromise is key.
CEREMONY
Seth and I definitely wanted to be married in a hand-crafted, outdoor ceremony. We share a profound love for the outdoors and nature is our common church. For my parents, however, our marriage would not be real unless it was a Catholic marriage performed by a Catholic priest. But the Catholic Church sees marriage as a sacrament that must be performed inside a church, no exceptions.
At first it frustrated me that my parents would not budge, but I understood their position—it is their faith and my upbringing and I am grateful for it. (I am spiritual in my own way, and use tools from a Catholic foundation to create my own multifaceted, non-denominational approach to the mysteries of life. Nonetheless, I am inescapably a Catholic at heart.)
Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Christen & Seth and The Local Squared Wedding
