Gender & Feminism

Apr 2008

You'll notice that this blog is called "Practical Wedding" and not "Practical Bride." My knee jerk reaction was to call it Practical Bride, but then I realized that played right in to all the crazy wedding gender stereotyping that drives me mad in the first place. I will in fact be doing the blogging here, as partner-in-crime is busy over at Practical Progress and, um, at law school. But I don't want this to be a groom free environment. Hopefully David will pop in a guest blog now and again. We're working really hard to plan this wedding together, and it bothers me that the only groom-speak out there tends to sound more like a frat boy talking then anything. You know the drill, "weddings are stupid, my fiance can't keep on her budget." and the like.
Continue reading Mmmm…. gender stereotypes

Posted in: Gender & Feminism, Meg's Thoughts, Weddings | 1 Comment »

Jun 2008

The Bouquet Toss, And Other Gender Weird Traditions

We are cutting a lot of traditions from our wedding that we think have weird gender implications. We are not doing a garter toss. Luckily, since its a Jewish wedding I don't need to decide about how I feel about my Dad walking me down the aisle, since both parents will walk me down the aisle, which I love. We've reworded our invitation in a less traditional way that makes me feel more comfortable. No one is giving me away "to" someone else, thanks!

That said, I'm thinking of tossing my bouquet. Why? Because I am a professional on the bouquet catch circuit. I've been catching bouquets or wrestling other people to the ground while trying to since I was at least five or six. I love it! It's one of the most fun parts of a wedding, as far as I'm concerned. However, I really don't love the "woman who catches the bouquet is the next to wed" idea. So, we are thinking of just making it up for grabs for anyone to catch, and make it "good luck."
Continue reading The Bouquet Toss, And Other Gender Weird Traditions

Posted in: Gender & Feminism, Meg's Thoughts, Planning, Planning, Weddings | 39 Comments »

Jun 2008

Wedding Sexism

Since we've started planning our wedding, I've heard more sexist comments I've ever heard in my life. Weddings seem to be the last frontier of totally accepted gender stereotypes. We've routinely had people say things like "Well, it's a wedding, I'm sure the groom doesn't know a thing about the plans." or "All the groom wants is to get through the wedding so he can get to the honeymoon." And then there are the condescending things people say just to me. When I was going dress shopping people who found out would say things like, "Well, try not to break the bank. You know you only wear it once." or "Remember, it's just one stupid day. Try to reign in the spending." Right. Because I clearly am not planning a, um, practical wedding.
Continue reading Wedding Sexism

Posted in: Gender & Feminism | 32 Comments »

Jun 2008

Groom Guest Post: The Other Point of View

David here, the "better half" at chez practical. I have been asked, well maybe more persuasively requested, to write a guest blog from the other-gendered point-of-view. I've been racking my brain trying to come up with something to write for this first guest blog and decided that it may be best to use my insights into the male mind to aid you all along in the happiest day of YOUR life.

Which brings me to my point: It's not the happiest day in your life. There are many reasons for this. First, I hope to God, for the sake of each and every one of you, that your wedding does not end up being the happiest day in your life. Children, grandchildren, promotions, hell, even a great vacation - these should be the happiest days in your life. The point - they're well ahead of you, perhaps somewhere around the age of 45 (and if you ARE 45, let's say 75). Most importantly, though, and I know that the industry is myopically unaware of this fact, there is another person there: Your Groom (my apologies to my LGBT friends for this gendered post).
Continue reading Groom Guest Post: The Other Point of View

Posted in: Gender & Feminism | 21 Comments »

Feb 2009

Addressing Wedding Invitations (and staying a feminist)

Every so often I take reader questions, if I think they are questions everyone has, and someone needs to address. Usually Ariel has already addressed them in a slightly more offbeat way, and I'm taking them on in a 'reclaiming tradition' way. So, as always, take your pick. The internet is great for giving us fantastic options. Here goes:

I love your blog - it's a little haven in the sea of gender stereotype bullsh*t surrounding everything wedding.

I have a question about addressing wedding invitations. "Mr. and Mrs. Joe Blow" makes me sort of nauseous but my parents kind of want things a little more formal than "Joe and Jane Blow." What do you think about "Mr. and Mrs. Joe and Jane Blow" or "Mr. Joe Blow and Mrs. Jane Blow" or should it be "Mr. Joe and Mrs. Jane Blow" ... that kind of sounds weird, right? Any thoughts?
Continue reading Addressing Wedding Invitations (and staying a feminist)

Posted in: Ask Meg, Gender & Feminism, Meg's Thoughts, Weddings | 70 Comments »

Apr 2009

Addressing Wedding Invitations, Part II

In case you were on the fence about how to address your wedding invitations, and wondering if it would be more tasteful to address them all as Mr. and Mrs. Joe Blow, because it’s faaaannnncccccyyyy, I give you this comment:

Well, I just received my umpteenth wedding invitation addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. Joe Blow” when my name is “Dr. Jane Sassy-Blow”. Geesh! I’ve been married to this guy for almost 24 years now and no one in his family has still bothered to learn my name! Whoever said* the woman with the Dr. title should get to use it was right on! Or at the very least, let me use my legal – hyphenated – last name!

Right. Address people as they wish to be addressed, or failing that, by their names. Glad that’s cleared up.

*That was me. I said that.

Posted in: Gender & Feminism, Tradition | 31 Comments »