Alright ladies. It’s finally here. Alyssa’s Ask Team Practical Friday column. Do you like how I put her picture up there on the left, like she was Dear Abby? Yeah, she totally didn’t know I was going to do that. Sucker! Plus, now she probably wants to fly to San Francisco so she can take author pictures with Lauren and me. So I figure I’ll just keep running this picture till she caves under my pressure. Mwa-hahahaha. Ha. So, I’m thrilled to bring you Alyssa, helping APW-ers crowd source answers to their questions since…. NOW.
Two questions came to APW recently, both regarding not having alcohol at your wedding. First, Court:
“Here’s my question – have you ever had a wedding graduate who (either the bride or groom or both) are in recovery, so it was an alcohol-free wedding, reception (rehearsal, everything)? Before Grant went through treatment at the beginning of 2009, I would have thought going to a wedding without alcohol would be horrible and, if I’m being honest, would have judged it. I didn’t understand addiction, and didn’t understand why the person in recovery couldn’t be around alcohol. As it has been put to me now, which I do understand is “if you go to the barber shop long enough, you’re gonna leave with a haircut.” The important thing is for Grant to stay in recovery.
We love our new lives here. We are so excited to get married, and stay on this path to being happy and healthy. I’m wondering how to explain to people that it will be a dry wedding weekend, and how that is not the point. That Grant and I found each other, that we are making it in a relationship with his disease (addiction) and my disease (depression), and that we want to keep doing it every day – that’s the point.”
Amanda also had the same question:
“My fiance & I are getting married in the fall (wheeee!) and are having a full dinner & dance reception after our ceremony. We are not, however, serving any alcohol. While we both enjoy a bevvie (especially when dancing!), we chose to have a dry wedding to respect our MOH and a groomsman who both cannot drink due to medication requirements. Also, there is a single cousin on both sides who tends to become a mean drunk.
Rather than alcoholic beverages, we are serving Martinelli’s Sparkling Apple Cider, sparkling water, and a signature punch (from a champagne fountain, no less). There will be wine glasses to drink from, and no lack of garnish. In other words, a classy & very “us” beverage selection; one that just happens to also be non-alcoholic.
My dilemma is this: everyone keeps referring to the alcohol that they are assuming will be served. “It doesn’t matter what songs are played, but more which liquor is served!”; “I can’t wait to get sloppy and find the single guys”; and the list goes on…
Should I tell people upfront that liquor will not be served? If so, do I provide the (rather personal) reason for this? Or do I just let people travel 800+ KM to our wedding and chance them being disappointed? Really – if someone would choose not to attend my wedding due to no liquor, they aren’t a good friend of mine. That said, I don’t feel the need to run around telling people the wedding will be dry (as that is SO not the focus of the day!). So I am stuck. Suggestions?? Advice??”
The short answer is, “Eff ‘em. If they need booze to have a good time, then they have bigger problems than not enjoying your wedding.”
ANND…done. Go Team Practical!
What? You want more?