Posts Tagged ‘Church Weddings’

Jan 2012

*Katherine, Teacher & Spencer, Teacher*

I'm super excited about today's wedding graduate post, and not just because it was shot by APW sponsor Allison Andres, or because Katherine and Spencer got their cake from the same bakery that we got our cake from. Nope! It's because Katherine talks about planning a wedding with her inner flower girl in tow. I've talked pretty frankly about how much I've been obsessed with weddings since I was super teeny, so I completely feel Katherine on this. But in the end, I love this post the most because of her message of letting go and realizing when you're marrying something you love... everything really does work out. Somehow. Inner flower girl and all.

Months ago my father wrote his own piece for APW about his wedding some thirty-five years ago. He waxed eloquently on the idea of the wedding being a beginning, on how life will have its twists and turns. Today I will tell you a story about what a hissyfit over beer and wine taught me about myself. My dad is a professional writer, and I am simply a first grade teacher who tries to keep it real. Here is my story:

My first brush with the wonder that is a wedding came when I was six-years-old and was tapped to be a flower girl. I remember going to a seamstress with my mother and grandmother to have my dress made. Oh my gosh you can actually have a dress made just for you? I was sold. Later on, after the wedding, I would routinely put on my flower girl dress, crank up Whitney Houston, and dance on my bed. Doing this made me feel invincible.

Fast-forward roughly twenty years to the invention of reality television. This genre has brought us many guilty pleasures such as American Idol, Survivor, and Dancing With The Stars. And, of course, The Learning Channel, aka TLC. Only God knows what exactly we are supposed to be learning from this channel, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t produce some fascinating television.

I loved watching to see the types of dresses brides were buying, the different centerpieces that were featured, and if a birdcage veil was considered appropriate. Were most brides choosing to go with a buffet or a plated dinner for their big day? Inquiring minds want to know!

Over time my love of weddings turned into judgment of weddings. Since my brush with greatness as a six-year-old flower girl, I had been crafting my big day in my mind. As I watched more television (and eventually read more wedding-porn blogs) my crafting turned into criticism. I would find myself attending the weddings of friends and loved ones and thinking, “Ugh, I would never have only one choice of cake. Guests need variety,” or, “Why on earth would you pick this song for your first dance?” I moved from being a woman with my own ideas, to being downright critical. And it was not good. Continue reading Wedding Graduate: Katherine & Spencer

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Oct 2011

Wedding Graduates: Rachel & Anton

If you are like me, you have been waiting around tapping your toe, wondering when our own Shotgun Shirley (whose real name is Rachel... long story) would write her wedding graduate post. Rachel shared a bit about planning her Shotgun Wedding (which we both agree is the funniest term in the world, so we're using it) last fall, when she found out rather suddenly that she was pregnant. And now she's back, with a beautiful wedding story (that dress!) and... A BABY! Rachel's story is a perfect complement to this morning's discussion of accepting life, our partners, ourselves, and our union exactly how they come... and letting there be perfection in the imperfection.

There are so many ways to approach this that it’s taken me a while to get started. (And I’ve had three false starts already.) Do I talk about including each of my six siblings? The mama (in-law) drama? Planning it almost by myself because Anton had to study for the bar exam? But what’s really different about our story is that it was a shotgun wedding.

We were proto-engaged for over six months, then we got officially engaged and BAM it turns out we are two months along—what?!? Despite our best efforts, our plan to have a family became a bit off schedule.

We had been considering a Fall 2011 or Spring 2012 picnic reception at my parents’ house. We even did some landscaping to prepare during the secret proto-engagement. So, why did we go for a shotgun wedding? Well, there were the legal benefits, and the tax benefits, too (when one of you makes $0, you get a nice big tax refund, which can help pay for a nice big party), but that’s not the only reason. When it comes down to it, we wanted to be married before our daughter's birth. It was important to us personally, and it also seemed more practical. (I am so glad I didn’t have any postpartum wedding planning!)

We had a civil ceremony a month after our official engagement, in November 2010, and scheduled our religious wedding for January 2011. That way I still had plenty of pregnant time to switch from my OB to an awesome midwife, prep for the birth, and get ready for a baby. A shotgun wedding was the most practical option for us, and that’s why we did it, difficulties and all.

Now, onto the how. A lot of the wedding planning was not particularly “shotgun”—we set our budget and our priorities early on (family/friends, booze, food and funk) and went from there. Invites and reception venue had to be figured out ASAP since we already knew we’d be married in my family church. We had just announced our engagement and now we had to spread the baby and wedding news. We mostly waited, except for close family and friends, until we could announce both.

Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Rachel & Anton

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Oct 2011

Wedding Graduates: Lauren & Kamel

Well, it's finally here. Last year, Lauren joined APW as an intern shortly after she got engaged. In the last year, she's shared her wedding planning journey with us. She grew and changed in the position, moving from intern to submissions editor, and at the same time she grew and changed through her wedding planning, and engagement. And now, finally, she's a graduate. She's gotten to the other side, and she learned the things that you can never really learn till you're there. So today it's an honor to see her graduate and share her words with you.

A week before the wedding I thought I had it all figured out. If I had to do it over again I was confident with what I would ditch and what I would keep. I told my mom that a wedding was not worth it. It wasn't. If I had to do it over again I would have had an ultra small wedding (parents, 3 best friends, ta-da), a dinner at a great restaurant and a honeymoon. Bam. No fancy dress, no hullabaloo.

What I thought the week before the wedding was: how silly of me to believe I would regret not having aspects of the wedding I had imagined growing up—nothing happened the way I thought it would during engagement, and busting my butt for the reception and the favors and the details had not ended up making me feel awesome. The week before the wedding it made me feel like I just wanted it to be over. I didn't feel at all the way I thought I would about the things I thought I would.

And then, the morning of the wedding I woke with a surge of adrenaline that never ever went away. The girls and I went to Starbucks for breakfast and tea, then to our hair/makeup appointment at a salon. In the rain. Where the person with the key never showed up. The owner had to race over, forty minutes after our appointments were supposed to start. We rolled with it. Everything about a wedding has to do with rolling with it. This part of the day was where I felt the most calm. I was with my best friends, goofing off in a salon downtown in matching hoodies and pajamas. It was, oddly, the most normal thing I did.

By the time the wedding rolled around I was overwhelmed with the immensity of it. I couldn't breathe well sitting down so I leaned against the back of chairs like a plank. My anxiety was through the roof. When I was waiting to walk down the aisle with my dad, just us two behind a door while the rest of the wedding party filed in, he choked out, "I really love you," and we both cried. I told him he couldn't talk to me anymore, he couldn't say another word because we were going to be a mess otherwise. He said ok. We held on to each other and I gripped kleenex.

Walking down the aisle I only remember two things: knowing my dad had a hold of me, that there was no way I was going to stumble or mess up because he was there, and locking eyes on Kamel (who was beaming like a shooting star) at the other end of the church. I saw no one else. He waved at me, I waved back.

When my dad had dropped me off at the front and Kamel and I had taken our spots, off to one side of the altar, facing the guests, the Deacon said his opening remarks and I knew I was going to pass out if I kept standing. I knew it. I looked to the front row where my parents and best friends were sitting and they all knew it too. They mouthed to me to breathe, to yawn, that it would be ok, that I could sit if I needed to. They used subtle hand gestures and I started to see black spots. I tried to make it through the welcome, but 3/4 of the way through I sat. Kamel sat too. I told him, "I don't think I can do this."

Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Lauren & Kamel

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Sep 2011

Wedding Graduates: Amanda & Mark

Today's beautiful international wedding talks about two cultures and families coming together to create one day of magic. Add to that the fact the Amanda gives excellent advice, and you're a lucky bunch of ladies....

My name is Amanda. My husband, Mark, and I got married last September. Mark and I met in an airplane. I am Mexican, he is Dutch, but his dad is now living in Mexico, so we were both traveling for Christmas holidays to visit families. We wanted to point out how important and lucky and crazy it was that the online check-in system randomly gave us seats next to each other, so we put a model airplane over the cake, with a playmobil bride and groom. Our wedding day was truly magical because of all the joy we felt around us. Not only our joy, but also of all our family and friends that had joined us from near and far. We didn't stop smiling the whole day.

Mark is Protestant and I am Catholic, so it was not so easy to find a priest that was willing to marry us. Our situation is not that unusual, but the first priest that we went to told us that we needed special permission and started to make the whole situation complicated. But! When we met the priest that married us, the feeling was totally different. There was a click right away. He was very funny and friendly and open with us. For the liturgy, we chose readings that had a special meaning to us and that were common. For example, my mother-in-law, Sharon, was named after a reading from the Song of the Songs and we had her read it during the ceremony. It was a way of honoring Mark's granddad, who passed away two years ago and would always tell her the story of her name.

We were surprised by all the love and help and support we received throughout the process. My mother-in-law works at a university and is a good friend of the photographer who usually takes the students' pictures. She hired him for us and gave us the photos as a wedding present. Mark's grandma paid for our flowers, my parents paid for part of the reception. And we got a lot of financial support from all our friends and family in the form of wedding presents. We did not expect this at all. As I learned, it is very common in Holland to print a little envelope icon in the wedding invitation, meaning you would like guests to bring you money. We felt very uncomfortable with this, and refused to do it. We were aware that people might want to give us something for the start of our home, so we made a list at a department store, but we only gave it to people when they asked us. Receiving all of this was a bit of a shock, though in a good way, to see how much people just wished to help us in the set up of our new life.

Now for the practical stuff. If I could speak to other brides-to-be these are some of the things I learned:

Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Amanda & Mark

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Sep 2011

Wordless Wedding: Anne & Alex

* Anne (Postgrad) & Alex (Marketing & PR) * Photographer: Lauren McGlynn Photography, UK (APW Sponsor) * Soundtrack for reading: The Plain White Ts Rhythm of Love *

The Info—Ceremony Venue: St. Mary’s Church, Shaw-cum-Donnington, Berkshire, England / Reception Venue: The Black Barn / Dress: Oxfam Bridal Southampton / Suit: Moss Bros / Photography: Lauren McGlynn Photography, UK (APW Sponsor)

Other cool stuff: We wanted the whole event to be low-key and principally ‘us’. We didn’t have a theme—just a natural-inspired rough colour swatch to tie it all together. Loads of friends and family got involved and everything we could make, we made—all the lighting in the barn, bunting, paper flowers on the tables, the tablecloths, the bouquets, the little bridesmaids dresses, the cupcakes, the wedding cake. Everything we could we recycled and/or reused—my wedding dress from Oxfam, my great-grandmother’s cake knife, another great-grandmother’s tablecloth, an offcut from my sister’s veil with a 1920s brooch and a piece of my mother’s vintage ribbon to make a small nod to a veil, flowers on the tables in recycled bottles… and so many cars went home that night piled with recycling! And everything we could source locally we did, from the local free-range hog and salads, to the naturally outdoor-grown flowers from a company in Oxfordshire.

One sentence sum up of the wedding vibe: Relaxed and completely us—the best day of our lives shared with the people we love.

Favorite thing about the wedding: How can I choose! It was a day full of perfect moments from my sisters helping me get ready in the morning to the moment we drove off at the end of the evening: laughter, hugs, family, friends, sister-saved flowers, seamless running due to mother’s lists and best man’s instructions, beautiful little (and big!) bridesmaids, a wonderful personal ceremony, bunting, cakes, pimms, Dorothy the hog(roast), photos, fields, sunshine, speeches, dancing… it all came together perfectly in a whirlwind celebration of us. A very special thing was having the entirety of both immediate families together—when your husband’s parents and brothers live in Australia you don’t get much chance for everyone to be together. They were all amazing, helping to bring our wedding to life.

Posted in: Wedding Graduates, Wordless Weddings | 23 Comments »

Sep 2011

1971 Vintage Wedding: Amy & Fred

Today's Vintage Wedding is a brilliant must-read for about a million reasons. But what I like best is it simultaneously reassures you that simple weddings are very traditional, while reminding you that the wealth of options we have now (Keep your name! Get married in a park with a reception in a BBQ joint!) are not to be taken for granted. All that, and it's just super smart, so read on. (And then go interview your parents and submit their Vintage Wedding.)

My parents were married in Toronto, Ontario, on August 21, 1971. My mom, Amy, was 21 and my dad, Fred, was 23. My mom says, “I think the average age for getting married was younger then, but we were pretty young even so—we were both still in school. In 1971, and in our families, we couldn’t live together unless we were married. We badly wanted to live together, so we got married! We had a little car (a Datsun sedan we called Daisy), some used furniture, an apartment that cost $125/month, about $1000 in the bank, and lots of high hopes!”

My mom made her own wedding dress, and for reasons that she says “have disappeared in the fogs of time” decided that every inch of her skin should be covered—long sleeves, high neck and even a bonnet in August—but she loved doing it. She says “I remember spending many hours that summer in my parents’ basement, sewing and dreaming about our wedding and married life!” Typical of my mom, the dress pattern doubled as her major project in her Advanced Flat Pattern course at University (her major was Clothing, Textiles and Design).

The wedding was very small—only about 20 people. This decision didn’t come without a fight—apparently family arguments over guest lists are nothing new. “The wedding itself was lovely (except that the front of the church was under construction). But the hours and minutes before the wedding were tense. Until they showed up at the church, it wasn’t certain whether Fred’s family was going to attend. They were upset because we had foolishly told them they could invite only six people to the wedding. Since there are literally hundreds in their extended family, this was not a popular decision!”

My dad says, “By the time I was ready to go to the church—with the best man [his brother, who hadn’t yet shown up] or a substitute—I was so stressed I just wanted it to be over. I was resigned to the fact that my family might not be there, but I wasn’t going to miss this day for anything.”

It was important to my mom that the wedding be small—she was terrified of being the centre of attention of such a large crowd, and there were financial considerations as well. Funnily enough, 40 years later she’s an Anglican Reverend who specializes in officiating weddings and other celebrations, so it’s her job to speak in front of those crowds! Luckily my dad’s family turned up (all 6 of his siblings and his parents), and in retrospect, she says, “I didn’t handle things well at all with my in-laws. No wonder we weren’t sure they were going to show up on the big day. They did turn up at the wedding and after our honeymoon they gave us a lovely party in their home town. ” Continue reading 1971 Vintage Wedding: Amy & Fred

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Posts Tagged ‘Church Weddings’

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