Lynn, University Accessibility Coordinator & Tony, Ph.D. Student in Integrative Biology
One sentence sum-up of the wedding vibe: A laid-back, late spring, DIY, DIT, reunion of family, friends, and loved ones.
Planned Budget: $10,000
Actual Budget: A little less than $10,000 (the dress was an unexpected gift from loved ones)
Number of Guests: 48
Where we allocated the most funds
Food and drinks. This was the most important to us from the get-go. In part, we chose our venue because they’d allow us to bring in our own caterer and we had one in mind from the start. I’ve known her for over a decade so I know that she understands just how big my herd of brothers’ appetites are and what to do when I say, “I don’t care what you serve for dessert so long as there’s gold on it.” She and her team put together the best meal I’ve ever had. Fried chicken with white sausage gravy, braised short ribs with a smoked onion BBQ sauce, mashed potatoes with truffle oil, corn bread with whipped brown butter, sautéed veggies, etc. All of it was served family style, which was perfect because it felt like home.
Where we allocated the least funds
Flowers and decor. I love flowers. A lot. But I felt I could DIT this part of the wedding, and I’m glad I did. I had read a lot of advice online that almost steered me away from doing this because people talked about it being much harder or more time consuming than they imagined. We spent less than $400 on flowers (and we got a few things we didn’t really end up needing because our greenery didn’t really work), and that covered all the centrepieces, ceremony decorations, and my little wee bouquet I made so I would have something to do with my hands while walking down the aisle. I ordered them bulk from a florist, picked them up the Friday before the wedding and set to work arranging them with my mother-in-law. I showed her a few pictures on Pinterest, and she immediately got what I was going for and we got to it. Vases were borrowed from a friend and the only other decor we put up were lights (from Target) and some temporary paper blinds that adhere right to the window so the sun wouldn’t be blazing in guests’ eyes. We pinched pennies when it came to our venue. The brewery reception space was cozy and a steal at $275 for the entire evening (plus they make the best brews).
We also saved on photography because my wonderful brother shot our wedding. I debated having him as the photographer because I wanted him to be able to really be there, but I just couldn’t imagine having anyone else do it (he did hire a second shooter so he wouldn’t have to be “on” the whole evening). Usually on weekends I assist him as he shoots, so I know and love the way he works just as much as the photographs he makes. He’s un-intrusive but entirely present. I think the photographs are beautiful on their own but knowing my brother made them adds an extra layer of specialness. Having him shoot the wedding also meant we got to spend a lot more time with him that day, and that was the best. He made Tony eggs for breakfast, he made me cry in the morning before anyone else (because we can pretty much communicate telepathically and we were both thinking “woah”), and he even drove me to the ceremony.
What was totally worth it
In terms of money: the Airbnb we stayed at (the host made fresh bagels and bread and left champagne and chocolates for us), the food, getting all done up by someone who knew what she was doing, the crown.
In terms of time: carefully picking venues so they weren’t too big, too expensive, or too restrictive, writing our own vows, and making fifty little clay pots as favors in the months leading up to the wedding. Working on the pots was my favorite project. It made me carve out time to practice a new hobby during what was otherwise a very busy period, and it was completely soothing working with my hands and building something.
What was totally not worth it
The time spent looking at other dresses I could have bought online. Spending time carefully registering wasn’t really worth it for me. Only two people looked at my registry, and one of them was my own mum (though I ended up with more on-point than usual gifts from my mom, so I’m thinking of registering for Christmases and birthdays… just kidding, kind of).
A few things that helped us along the way
There were only two kids at the wedding (my little twin nieces), and I made them activity packs with inexpensive things like small sparkly rings, stickers, a pencil, and mazes to keep them entertained at dinner. They were thrilled by these and spent a lot of the evening drawing us adorable pictures and sticking stickers on everyone.
Also, we sent simple one-page letterpressed paper invitations and made a wedding website using Squarespace for RSVPs, links to information about hotels, and details about the day. For RSVPs this was especially helpful (and hilarious—for example I provided a space for folks to let me know about dietary restrictions and my uncle wrote, “Can’t eat more than two hundred pounds of food.”)
My best practical advice for my planning self
Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Don’t have your wedding at a banquet hall if you really want a brewery. Don’t wear earrings if you’d prefer to wear a crown. Don’t have a wedding party if you don’t want a wedding party. Don’t eat cake if you really want pie.
Favorite thing about the wedding
I have so many favorite things: listening to my friend sing “As Time Goes By” as I walked down the aisle, saying our vows, seeing all five of my siblings together for the first time in nine years, and my mom’s speech in which she perfectly honored my late father and grandfather, got in a few gentle teases, and summed up some pretty sweet stuff about my partner and me.
