A Letter to My Pandemic Wedding Planning Self

A Nurse Plans A Wedding During COVID

Hey Girl,

You think you’re a chill bride and I love that for you. But you’re not. You will create a zillion curated Pinterest boards. You will change your mind about veils vs. flower crowns and endlessly scroll through wedding content… and one minute think a neutral color palette will be classic and best… and then remember you’re a colorful person who needs a colorful wedding and change direction again. You will email for quotes, balk at the quotes, stress about budgets and guest lists and seating charts and if people will have fun and how to best arrange your divorced parents around you on the day.

And then a global pandemic will happen and everything will go to hell. You’ll cry a lot as you make new Pinterest boards, and question if it’s even safe or fair to have a wedding at all. At the same time people fight over toilet paper, and about masks. And you’ll tell patients they’re Covid positive, and don and doff PPE. You’ll worry about bringing the virus home, and wonder why you even care about your wedding in moments when you hear the code blues called on the Covid floor above you.

Everyone will have an opinion and they’ll let you know. Politics will be involved in the logistics of your wedding… as well medical advice from doctors you work with and aunts sending you links from Facebook. You’ll pivot and re-plan a wedding three times, each time insisting you keep your original date even if that means you go to the courthouse or get married in your living room with just your partner because A) you’re excited to get married and B) you’re over it—all of it.

And then, things will slowly fall into place, the more you relax, and follow your heart, and meditate on it. And eventually it will be time to link arms with your Dad and walk down the aisle.

And even though you’ve lived with your partner for years and years—so long it feels like you’ve been married forever, the moment you see him at the end of the aisle every last particle of stress you held in your cells will diffuse out into the ether, and you will feel at peace, in love, and so, so happy.

Your family and friends will be there through the magic of the internet. Your sister will sing you down the aisle just like you always planned, and your partner will cry as you walk toward him holding the best damn bouquet to ever be held (even after hours and hours of scrolling through bouquet inspo pics).

Your high school sweetheart will become your spouse after twelve years, and even though everything went wrong leading up to that moment, everything will feel just right.


Stay tuned for Erin and Leif’s real wedding feature on the site next week. You don’t want to miss it!

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