And with love like that you know you should be glad

Our friend and rabbinical student Nikki, taught the guests a Hebrew love song, and they sang us down the aisle.

We circled each other. We did, in fact, feel our lives intertwining.

Our parents said a blessing over us.

Our Rabbi had Nikki poured us our first glass of wine, which, per her suggestion was a sweet wine. A sweet, high alcohol desert wine. She told Nikki to pour us a whole mug full. We waved our hands and said, “Ssttttttttttooooooppppp.” She didn’t. We had to pass the wine around to the huppah holders to finish it off.

We said our vows. I had carried David’s ring on my bouquet, and when I tried to pull it off, I dropped it and it rolled away, so I dashed after it in my heels.

The Rabbi pulled out her drash. It was clearly five pages. Oh dear, this was going to be long. I took off my shoes and settled in.

Our friend Nikki sang the seven wedding blessings to us, and her eyes filling with tears of joy.

They poured the second glass of wine, just as big as the first. This time we drank it. All. Well, sort of chugged it, really.

Our friend Caron read the Tom Robbins excerpt about cheese cake. Everyone laughed. She read the bit about peeing out the window, everyone held their breath, wondering what to do. I very loudly said, “AMEN!” Collective laugh.

Our friend Lacey read “I like you,” and her voice cracked in the middle.

The guests all put our hands on us to bless us, and I started crying into my grandmothers handkerchief.

David broke the glass.

We kissed.
We kissed.
We kissed.

Everyone sang Siman Tov and Mazel Tov… as we walked through the crowd, me holding my bouquet over my head in victory, both giddy with joy.Eating fruit in our yichud, looking at our wedding rings, relaxing, as blissed out as we’ve ever been, hearing our yichud guards make jokes on the other side of the door. Feeling loved and blessed.

And then we were ready to party. PARTYPARTYPARTY.

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  • Mazel Tov. :)

  • Mazel tov! The wine cup is filled to overflowing because your marriage should be blessed with sweetness and overflowing love. I adore your pictures.

  • <3

  • i love reading about your moments – you are so fab…and the way you write about your life is so lovely.

    looks like you were, perhaps, a mountain bride yourself!??? spectacular scenery.

  • Meg

    Nope. Married in the Bay Area. East Bay hills.

  • DJ

    I am loving your posts!

  • did you and the hubby fast before the wedding? I'm not, but the dude plans to. I wonder if that effects how emotional you feel, I know I'm 200% more likely to be a weepy wreck under the chuppah if I fast

  • Anonymous

    When are we going to hear about your dress. dying to read about that!


  • Meg

    You're not going to really hear about my dress. I've told you all there is to tell. It was a pretty party dress that I found at a vintage store right before the wedding. It was super fun to wear. I'm not sure what else there is to say? Is there something you want to hear?

    Ducks and Books –
    We did not (though theoretically it wouldn't have been super hard since we were married at 10:30). We did do a super intense Jewish confessional to each other right before we walked down the asile (part of the reason my head was spinning) which was a similar effect I think. Very very intense. VERY. But good. Because like I said earlier I think weddings are *important* and *weighty* and that's more important than *happy.* You'll get so much happy at the party. So… I donno. If you're not getting married too late in the day, and you think it would work for you spiritually, I might consider it, given my experance. You'll love the food at your Yichud even more.


  • Marie

    That's fabulous! When I read descriptions of weddings like this it makes me a little worried that my own wedding won't be able to communicate the "bigness" and the importance and the love that my fiance and I share, because we're atheists.

    I don't expect transcendence at my wedding but I think our wedding is more than just a public display or part or acknowledgment. It's bigger than that, but there are very few frameworks or structures or guides that aren't faith based that convey the meaning that I'm looking for. We have time to think about the structure of our ceremony but it's the most daunting task.

  • Meg

    First of all, have I ever mentioned that *lots and lots* of Jews are Atheists? It started as a Jewish movement, I belive. We don't happen to be (though lots of people at our temple are), but even if we were, we might have had a wedding more or less like this, when your Jewish, that God stuff doesn't stop you from a good ritual. So take whatever ritual stuff you want, that feels right to you, and milk it.

    But in sum: f*ck no. Our wedding wasn't big because we used the word God. Our trancendant feeling had very little to do with using the word God. It was about our friends and our families, and the commitment that we were making… in front of each other, not in front of some unseen being. Judism is big on the here and now (you've got to be when you've got no afterlife to speak of.) One of the most amazing moments was being blessed by everyone who was there (and people were sobbing, let me just say). Yeah, we used some Hebrew that was about God, because that meant something to us. But it was the PEOPLE with their very real HANDS on us with their very real LOVE that made it trancendent. They could have all been saying, (if I use our blessing, minus the God stuff) "May you be blessed and kept, and may you find peace." and it would have been just as huge.

    I got all tingly and teary just thinking about that moment. Phew.


  • That sounded just lovely!

  • Marie

    Thanks Meg and Cate! You've both really reassured me! I will definetly read your blog too Cate, I need to see an example of a non-religious ceremony just so I can feel better lol. And Meg, thanks for making me feel better about adopting some rituals if they feel right!

  • Cate Subrosa

    Beautifully, beautifully done, Meg. Now I know a little bit of how it was, and a lot of how you felt. Perfect.

  • Cate Subrosa

    Marie – We're atheists, and I absolutely experienced a moment of transcendence as Meg described it the other day at our wedding. It was when our closest family and friends stood and pledged to support us in our marriage. I can still feel the warmth of that moment as I think about it now. You can read about it here:

  • Anonymous

    I have to ask what Tom Robbins quote was read during your ceremony? He's my favorite author and I know that he will make an appearance in mine.

  • Mazel tov, all over again! I love your wedding. And that peeing thing? I'm so glad you had that moment, because my mom kept saying "What will people think? Will they be offended?" (because I want to use the same bit) and I thought, eh, they'll live with it if we laugh and show our merriment with a little Robbins.

  • Pingback: Outdoor Huppah Inspiration: With a Love Like That, You Know You Should Be Glad | Backyard Huppah()

  • beautiful huppah! I love jewish traditions and weddings. I hope that I can one day have my wedding at the western wall. Throw on some jewish jewelry and i’ll be ready to go!

  • I read your post, your post is very helpful for everyone. This wedding tallit is very beautiful and attractive. Thanks for sharing