Q: Dear Apw,
My friend is having an intensely DIY wedding, and when she asked me to be her bridesmaid, I told her I’d be thrilled to help in any way I can. And I was! But this has turned into getting together every single weekend to stuff envelopes, make favors, and plan bouquets. I’ll think we’re in the clear, and then sometime midweek I get a text outlining what “we’ll” be doing the following weekend. I know she doesn’t have a ton of cash to spend on this stuff, and I want to be supportive, but I also miss my couch. Should I just suck it up until this wedding is over?
—Anonymous
A: Dear Anonymous,
Nah. Your friend chose to plan a DIY wedding, so it’s on her to D the I.
It sounds like you don’t want to cut out completely, so take a peek at your calendar, figure out how many weekends you want to sacrifice on this wedding altar, and then let her know, “I’d love to help; here are the dates when I’m free.”
She doesn’t need to know the rest of them are set aside for Netflix. And do not feel bad about it. If you don’t set some boundaries, you assuredly will get burnt out and resentful.
—Liz Moorhead
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