Writing your day-of wedding timeline can be a tad overwhelming… okay, maybe more than a tad. From our experience, it’s the thing that causes couples the most pause. Because, I mean… sure, you’ve been a guest before, but you’ve maybe never been the one trying to schedule a day of magic and fun for you, your fiancé, and all your favorite humans. Plus, every wedding is so different. How are you supposed to know what to prioritize? While we can’t make your family (ahem, mother-in-law) more predictable and less overwhelming (though we wish we could), we can help you figure out how to figure out this very specific—and still pretty important—task.
First of all, a note about why you need a wedding timeline (and YES you need a day of timeline). When you attend a wedding that goes well, things seem to magically flow from one thing to the next. People seem to automatically know where to go. You don’t spend a moment thinking about logistics because you’re having so much fun. Well, that’s a little bit of a trick. The reason things seem so effortless is that somebody behind the scenes (possibly a wedding planner, possibly an ultra organized member of the wedding couple, possibly a friend) spent a lot of time outlining what would happen when, who needed to be where, and what objects needed to be in place at what times. The document that outlines all of that information is the day-of wedding timeline, and it’s arguably the most vital document in all of wedding planning… and yup, I’m including elopements in that.
Here is the truth: even if you’ve attended a lot of weddings, you probably haven’t paid much attention to how long each individual aspect lasted (barring the rare occasion that you end up in direct sunlight at an hour-long outdoor ceremony on a 90-degree day, which nobody forgets). So when its time to get started putting together your wedding day timeline it can be hard to figure out where to start. So we put together templates for a few different types of weddings to ease you into the process.
For my fellow type-A personalities out there: keep in mind that your wedding day timeline is just a guideline! Your wedding will not fall to pieces if it runs a little bit ahead or behind. In fact, most weddings stray by at least fifteen to twenty minutes (if not more) from the timeline at different points during the day or night, and then make up for that time later. You might extend the cocktail hour because people are having fun (or if the kitchen is running late). You might move up the first dance because everyone finished eating early. Your guests will neither notice nor care. Starting and ending the wedding on time are key—hitting everything in the middle in the approximate right order is important, but you usually have to adjust a little to fit the particular set of people in attendance. With all of that said, the day of, you should definitely put someone else in charge of following the wedding timeline. You want to have so much fun at your wedding that you have no idea what time it is.
One last note before we get into examples: these timelines were not written with any particular faith or tradition in mind. Catholic ceremonies with full Mass tend to last about an hour, many Jewish weddings include traditions like a ketubah signing or yichud that should be accounted for, and the list goes on. Be sure to make adjustments to suit you and your partner’s needs and desires.
Virtual (Zoom) At Home Wedding Timeline
Obviously, when it comes to getting married at home and looping in your people virtually, you have lots of flexibility. However, you still need a plan. That way your family knows when they’re expected to hop on zoom, and everyone will know how to prepare (be it food, drinks, or otherwise.) We’ve got lots more info on how to have a virtual wedding right here. This example wedding timeline is for a 4 pm wedding, but obviously modify it for whatever time you’re planning to get (virtually) hitched.
The day before—Do a tech run-through. Test zoom and your sound and lighting. Make sure you know how it’s all going to work.
12:00 p.m.—Start getting ready. You’re at home, and probably doing your own hair and makeup, so you know how long that will take. Don’t forget to eat, drink water, and generally just leave a buffer of time to breathe.
2:30 p.m.—Take some time to snap some photos or videos of you and your fiancx in your final moments before you’re married. Have a drink, or don’t.
3:00 p.m.—Do a final tech check (power cords, lighting, sound… just make sure you’re ready)
3:30 p.m.—Prep yourselves a drink so you can toast right after your ceremony
4:00 p.m.—Log-on time (aka invite time)
4:15 p.m.—Most (hopefully all) guests have figured out their technical difficulties, and you’re ready to go
4:20 p.m.—Don’t forget to ask folks to hit ‘mute’ so the ceremony doesn’t get interrupted
4:20 p.m.—Ceremony
4:40 p.m.—Throw any other ‘rules’ out the window, roll right into cocktail hour. Have a drink or bottle of champagne on ice and ready to go
4:45 p.m.—Spend some time just letting family and friends catch up, chat, and enjoy the cocktail time. Folks will need to step out for the restroom, to grab their own drinks, etc. Just let it be.
5:15 p.m.—Open the ‘floor’ for some toasts from your favorite people
5:45 p.m.—Cut the cake, or eat some treats with your people
5:50 p.m.—Enjoy more time with your people, or sign-off if you’re ready to call it a night.
IRL Courthouse wedding plus a virtual celebration
We absolutely adore a City Hall wedding. Seriously, some of our most favorite real weddings have happened at City Halls around the country. No matter your reasoning (pandemic leftovers, being introverts, or just wanting to make it legal quick)… here’s a plan for if you’re headed to City Hall, but want to toast with your family online when that’s done.
The day before—Do a tech run-through. Test zoom and your sound and lighting. Make sure you know how it’s all going to work.
11:30 a.m.—Start getting ready. (NOTE: adjust this timing based on your appointment at City Hall.) You’re at home, and probably doing your own hair and makeup, so you know how long that will take. Don’t forget to eat, drink water, and generally just leave a buffer of time to breathe.
1:00 p.m.—Take some time to snap some photos or videos of you and your fiancx in your final moments before you’re married. Have a drink, or don’t.
1:30 p.m.—Meet your photographer (maybe) at City Hall for some photos
2:00 p.m.—Head into City Hall for your check-in and 2:30pm ceremony
2:30 p.m.—Get Married
3:00 p.m.—Head home
3:30 p.m.—Do a final tech check (power cords, lighting, sound… just make sure you’re ready)
4:00 p.m.—Log-on time (aka invite time)
4:15 p.m.—Most (hopefully all) guests have figured out their technical difficulties, and you’re ready to go
4:20 p.m.—Throw any other ‘rules’ out the window, roll right into cocktail hour. Have a drink or bottle of champagne on ice and ready to go
4:45 p.m.—Spend some time just letting family and friends catch up, chat, and enjoy the cocktail time. Folks will need to step out for the restroom, to grab their own drinks, etc. Just let it be.
5:15 p.m.—Open the ‘floor’ for some toasts from your favorite people
5:45 p.m.—Cut the cake, or eat some treats with your people
5:50 p.m.—Enjoy more time with your people, or sign-off if you’re ready to call it a night.
IRL WEDDING TIMELINE WITH A 4 P.M. START TIME
Because the 4 p.m. ceremony time, 10 p.m. reception end (with both ceremony and reception in the same venue), with secular ceremony and photos beforehand is a pretty common format, let’s start with that wedding timeline.
10:00 a.m.—Hair and makeup / Getting ready
12:00–2:00 p.m.—Most vendors arrive for setup
2:00 p.m.—Wedding party and family photos start
3:30 p.m.—Doors open / Room ready for guests / Pre-ceremony music starts
4:00 p.m.—Invite time
4:15 p.m.—Ceremony starts
4:35 p.m.—Ceremony ends
4:40 p.m.—Cocktail hour starts
5:45 p.m.—Move guests into dinner
6:00 p.m.—Buffet opens / Dinner served
6:20 p.m.—All guests have food
6:30 p.m.—Toasts
7:30 p.m.—First dance
7:35 p.m.—General dancing music starts
8:00 p.m.—Second set of pre-sunset portraits
8:26 p.m.—Sunset
8:30 p.m.—Dessert
9:45 p.m.—Last call
9:55 p.m.—Music off
10:00 p.m.—Guests depart
11:00 p.m.—Breakdown done / All staff departs
Also in Logistics
MORNING WEDDING
Morning weddings are lovely, and until recently were actually pretty much the norm. Also—who doesn’t love brunch food? Or an excuse to drink champagne before noon? Here’s a sample morning wedding timeline:
7:00 a.m.—Hair and makeup / Getting ready
8:30 a.m.—Vendors arrive / Setup starts
9:00 a.m.—First look and couple’s portraits
9:30 a.m.—Family pictures
9:30 a.m.—Doors open / Room ready for guests / Pre-ceremony music starts
10:00 a.m.—Invite time
10:15 a.m.—Ceremony starts
10:45 a.m.—Ceremony concludes
10:45 a.m.—Cocktail “hour” starts / Additional family photos
11:30 a.m.—Brunch starts
12:15 p.m.—Toasts
1:00 p.m.—First dance
1:30 p.m.—Cake cutting / Dessert
2:45 p.m.—Couple departs
3:00 p.m.—Guests depart
3:00 p.m.—Breakdown commences
4:00 p.m.—All vendors out
EARLY AFTERNOON WEDDING Day TIMELINE
Afternoon weddings can be a happy medium between “omg too early” and “don’t actually want to go all night.” They can work especially well for all-outdoor events. Not only do you not have to greet the dawn, but afternoon weddings still leave enough time for just the two of you to go out for dinner. (Seriously, if your reception is a meal other than dinner, and you’re not planning on hanging out with your guests later, please build room in your budget to take yourselves out to a lovely meal somewhere.) This is also a very kid-friendly wedding timeline, which may be important to you if there are lots of small people in your life:
9:00 a.m.—Hair and makeup / Getting ready
9:30 a.m.—Vendors arrive / Setup starts
10:30 a.m.—Getting ready photos start
11:00 a.m.—First look and couple’s portraits
11:45 a.m.—Family pictures
12:30 p.m.—Doors open / Room ready for guests / Pre-ceremony music starts
1:00 p.m.—Invite time
1:15 p.m.—Ceremony starts
1:35 p.m.—Ceremony concludes
1:40 p.m.—Cocktail “hour” starts / Additional family photos
2:30 p.m.—Lunch starts
3:00 p.m.—Toasts
3:30 p.m.—First dance
5:00 p.m.—Cake cutting / Dessert
6:15 p.m.—Couple departs
6:30 p.m.—Guests depart
6:30 p.m.—Breakdown commences
7:30 p.m.—All vendors out
LATER EVENING WEDDING day TIMELINE
If you want people to party until midnight, then a later-in-the-evening wedding is a good bet. It should be noted that the evening wedding tends not to be particularly kid-friendly, so if you have a large number of little ones you’d like to include in your festivities, then an evening wedding may not be the best option for you (few kids are going to make it to a dinner that’s past their bedtime without a meltdown…). Of course the biggest win from an evening wedding, is that you can start your wedding day off by sleeping in! Highly recommended for night owls. Here’s how that wedding timeline might look:
1:00 p.m.—Hair and makeup / Getting ready
4:30 p.m.—Vendors arrive for setup
4:30 p.m.—Pre-ceremony photos
5:30 p.m.—Couple arrives
6:00 p.m.—Doors open / Room ready for guests / Pre-ceremony music starts
6:30 p.m.—Invite time
6:45 p.m.—Ceremony starts
7:00 p.m.—Ceremony ends / Guests move to cocktail hour
8:00 p.m.—Guests move to dinner
9:30 p.m.—Cake cutting / Dessert served / Toasts
9:45 p.m.—Dancing
11:45 p.m.—End time / Guests out
12:45 a.m.—Breakdown done / Vendors depart
COCKTAIL PARTY STYLE RECEPTION TIMELINE
The key is continuous rounds of food, with some heavier things around “dinner” time, and a menu that consists of food that can be eaten standing up (so, no knives, but forks are fine!) and served on smaller plates (because, big plates are awkward when you have to hold them standing up). For a cocktail style reception you don’t need tables or seating for everyone, although you should have some scattered throughout, particularly if you’re going to have older guests. A cocktail style reception might look something like the following:
3:00 p.m.—Vendors arrive for setup
4:30 p.m.—Doors open / Room ready for guests / Pre-ceremony music starts
5:00 p.m.—Invite time
5:15 p.m.—Ceremony starts
5:30 p.m.—Ceremony ends
5:30 p.m.—First round of food comes out / Bar opens
5:30 p.m.—Music starts inside
6:30 p.m.—Pre-sunset portraits
6:45 p.m.—“Dinner” rounds of food come out
7:07 p.m.—Sunset
7:15 p.m.—Toasts
7:30 p.m.—First dance
8:00 p.m.—Couple’s “Thank You” toast followed by cake cutting
9:00 p.m.—Couple and guests depart
10:00 p.m.—Breakdown done / Vendors out
SEPARATE CEREMONY AND RECEPTION TIMES
Sometimes having a time gap between the ceremony and reception is inevitable—the religious venue won’t schedule ceremonies after a certain time of day, or you simply can’t schedule back-to-back ceremonies and receptions at your two venues due to availability. While not always ideal, gaps aren’t that uncommon, or even that difficult to deal with. The first thing to think about (as with most parts of your wedding) is guest comfort. Do most of your guests live within a short driving distance? Or are they staying in nearby hotels? Are there things to do (coffee shops, museums, shopping) around one or both of your sites? Make sure your guests don’t have to spend a “gap” sitting in their cars in the parking lot, or awkwardly hanging out in the lobby of your reception venue waiting for it to start.
In general, if you have to have a gap, the ideal amount of time is about two to three hours, assuming that both venues and the hotels are within a half hour of each other. This actually gives people enough time to say, go and hang out and get some coffee, or go back to their hotel room to change or take a short nap, or check out some local galleries and stores. The one hour gap is often the hardest. It’s not enough time to actually do anything, but too much time to… not do anything. So, if your reason for a gap is that you want to do photos after the ceremony but not miss cocktail hour, the solution is to do a longer cocktail hour, snappy photos, and provide the guests food during this break. (I’ve never seen angrier guests than at a wedding where we were asked to wait for well over an hour, at dinner time, without food, while the couple took endless photos. Don’t do that.)
Here’s a sample of a wedding timeline with a two-hour gap between the ceremony and reception:
9:00 a.m.—Hair and makeup / Getting ready
11:00 a.m.–1:00 p.m.—Vendors arrive for ceremony setup
12:00 p.m.—Wedding party and family photos start
1:30 p.m.—Doors open / Guests begin to arrive / Pre-ceremony music starts
2:00 p.m.—Ceremony invite time
2:15 p.m.—Ceremony starts
3:00 p.m.—Ceremony ends
3:00 p.m.—Vendors start to arrive for reception set up
3:30 p.m.—Guests gone from ceremony site
4:00 p.m.—Ceremony site cleaned up / Vendors depart
4:30 p.m.—Doors open / Guests begin to arrive / Ambient music starts
5:00 p.m.—Reception invite time / Cocktail hour starts
6:30 p.m.—Move guests into dinner
6:45 p.m.—Buffet opens / Dinner served
7:00 p.m.—All guests have food
7:15 p.m.—Toasts
8:00 p.m.—First dance
8:05 p.m.—General dancing music starts
8:05 p.m.—Second set of pre-sunset portraits
8:26 p.m.—Sunset
8:45 p.m.—Dessert
9:45 p.m.—Last call
9:55 p.m.—Music off
10:00 p.m.—Guests depart
11:00 p.m.—Breakdown done / All staff departs
WEDDING DAY TIMELINE: FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
I spoke to Allison Davis of Davis Row, a high end wedding planning firm in New York City. She gave us some answers to frequently asked questions about wedding day schedules.
WHAT IS THE INVITE TIME?
The “invite time” is the time on your invitation. The earliest guests will show up is about half an hour before this, so be prepared for that. And then there are the late guests. No matter the size of your guest list, you can put money on the fact that ten of them will be around ten minutes late, even if they’re all staying down the street from the venue. Do yourself a favor and plan on starting the ceremony at least fifteen minutes after your invite time, and get advice from your vendors if you can (especially a caterer). In some regions, guests tend to stroll in as late as twenty-five to thirty minutes after invite time. There’s nothing more awkward than a late arrival standing at the back of the aisle because the bridesmaids are walking down. —Allison Davis, Davis Row
SHOULD WE HAVE A RECEIVING LINE?
You don’t have to! They aren’t as popular as they used to be, at least in New York The perk of the receiving line is that it allows for you to greet all (or almost all) of your guests individually, while also letting you actually sit down to eat a meal (since the other popular way to do this is to go around to tables during dinner) and, if you have two photographers at your wedding, is a great way to get photos of you with many of your guests. A good time to do the receiving line is from cocktail hour into dinner—post yourselves at a convenient transition point (e.g. a doorway) when you have about a half-hour of cocktail hour to go, and have someone be in charge of gently herding guests through you to dinner—you take about a minute greeting/hugging/fist-bumping everyone as they come into the dining room, and then it’s dinner time! —Allison Davis, Davis Row
WHEN SHOULD WE SERVE DINNER AT OUR WEDDING?
Timing for dinner depends largely on 1) what type of food service you’re having (the most common options being buffet, family-style, and plated) and 2) how large your guest list is. It takes about twenty minutes for one hundred guests to get through a buffet. Plated courses are usually spaced about forty-five minutes apart. And family style also takes about fifteen to twenty minutes for one hundred guests to be served. Plan accordingly—it’s nice to have a minimum of bread on the table to give guests something to snack on while they wait for their turn at the food, although plated salads are also a great way to start out an otherwise buffet meal for the same reason. And of course, always discuss timing with whoever is actually serving your food. They should have the best idea for your particular menu, and they can help you make your timeline as close to accurate as possible. —Allison Davis, Davis Row
WHEN DO WEDDING TOASTS HAPPEN?
Dinner is a great time to do toasts: you have a captive audience, and people are in a headspace to be attentive, plus you don’t have to carve separate time out of the day for them to happen. It’s generally smart to wait until guests have had a bit of time to eat, if possible, before getting the speeches started. Make sure to tell the catering staff that they should continue to serve, clear, etc., while people are speaking (they’re good at doing this discreetly), and have your photographer take a break either before speeches begin or after they’re complete. —Allison Davis, Davis Row
WHEN IS SUNSET ON OUR WEDDING DAY?
Note what time it’s going to happen! It’s as easy as Googling “sunset on [your wedding date] in [city where you’re hosting your wedding].” You’re going to want to think about lighting, especially if your event is happening partially outdoors. If possible, try to avoid having your guests in direct sunlight at high-noon, facing the sun as it sets, or in another uncomfortable situation. —Allison Davis, Davis Row
WHEN SHOULD WE TAKE WEDDING PHOTOS?
Whether or not you opt for an “official” photographed first look, the truth is that a lot of couples these days tend to do formal portraits before the ceremony, because otherwise, you’re stuck wrangling people during cocktail hour, which a) means they’re less compliant and b) you miss out on mingling with your guests. But whatever you choose, it’s always worth taking second set of portraits after the ceremony when you’re relaxed and joyful and in the WE JUST GOT MARRIED mood. If you’re having and evening wedding these will often be timed to fall right before sunset. This time is called the ‘golden hour’ because the light is totally different and gorgeous. You really only need to budget ten to fifteen minutes for these, and you should plan on it being just the two of you and your primary photographer. This mini session also has the added benefit of giving you a short break away from the crowds. —Allison Davis, Davis Row
CAN WE TAKE OUR PORTRAITS AFTER THE CEREMONY INSTEAD?
It’s totally fine if one or both of you is against taking photos before the ceremony—but how do you get them in your wedding timeline? Extend cocktails! I’d encourage you to schedule the ceremony about thirty minutes earlier than you normally would (so, set it for 3:30 p.m. instead of 4:00 p.m.), or dinner thirty minutes later, thereby giving yourself a ninety-minute cocktail hour that you’ll be able to join in for at least half an hour. Remember if you do this that you’ll need enough drinks and snacks to feed your group for the extended length, so plan ahead (or talk with your caterer) as needed.
Also make sure that everyone who’s going to be in photos knows ahead of time, and goes from the ceremony to the photo site. Get extended family photos out of the way first, immediate family second, wedding party third, and then do your couple portraits last—the key is to release the most people to cocktail hour as quickly as possible. A well-thought-out shot list will be your friend here. Take the time to sit down with your photographer and make it, and try to condense the family portraits as much as possible. (Do you really need individual portraits of you with every single person you’re related to? Probably not.) —Allison Davis, Davis Row
WHEN SHOULD WE SERVE DESSERT?
While this rule seems to have gotten lost over the generations, traditionally it’s considered acceptable to leave a wedding once the cake has been cut—at that point you know that nothing else major is going to happen (it’s just partying from there on out) and hey, maybe you have a sitter to get home to, or just want to be in bed to watch Netflix. And while you may not be aware of this rule, if you have any guests over sixty years old, then they do, and they will wait for you to cut the cake (or alternative dessert, like maybe pie). So don’t wait until too late to do it. I mean, no one wants to leave without a piece of cake (or, again, pie). And schedule this bit of theatre into your wedding timeline, because people’s happiness (and bedtimes) depend on it. —Allison Davis, Davis Row
WHAT IS THE LAST CALL AT A WEDDING?
The universal signal that things are about to wrap up or wind down. A “last song” announcement from the DJ or band, can be a helpful signal to your guests. —Allison Davis, Davis Row
WHO IS IN CHARGE OF WEDDING BREAKDOWN?
If your venue has strict timing rules or noise restrictions, or you’re paying a staff hourly and they’re going to go into overtime or time-and-a-half at some point, don’t forget about the breakdown. This is the thing everyone leaves out of their wedding timeline, and it’s very important. It’s generally faster than setup (it’s a lot quicker to toss decorations into a box than it is to take them out and perfectly arrange them), and with a big enough team, it can happen in about an hour, but sometimes close to two hours is a more accurate estimate. Think about all of the things that are going to need to happen once the lights go on and how much time that will take, and plan the end of the night accordingly. —Allison Davis, Davis Row
DOES OUR WEDDING TimEline HAVE TO HAVE AN END TIME?
Maybe your wedding is at your house, or at a venue you’ve rented for the whole weekend, or some other magical place that will let you stay as late as you want! How do you wrap up your wedding timeline? There are four signals to guests that a party is over: 1) the bar closes, 2) the music stops, 3) the lights come on, 4) people start cleaning up around them. When deployed together only the very, very densest of people would miss the signal that it’s time for them to leave.
But maybe you don’t want people to leave! That’s totally fine. You probably will want your event staff, if you have them, to leave at some point though, unless you’ve budgeted for a lot of overtime pay. At some point the bar can become self-serve, the DJ or band can switch to a Spotify playlist (or maybe was a Spotify playlist from the start), and the kitchen can close or the caterers can leave, but leave behind some trays of leftover dinner food, or big bowls of chips and salsa. (Let’s be real: if you want people to stay and drink until two in the morning, you probably want to provide them with something to snack on.) —Allison Davis, Davis Row
SHOULD WE HAVE AN AFTER PARTY?
It depends on a few factors. Is your crew… rowdy? Will it be a lot of guests who not only love to party but also haven’t seen each other in awhile? Are you having a big mix of family and friends, and thinking family is likely to go to bed early? Does your ceremony start at 6:00 p.m. or later? Signs are pointing to yes. My favorite way to do this, because it’s the easiest, is to pick a nearby bar ahead of time, make a reservation for a table if it’s that kind of place, spread the word, and whoever wants to go can go.
Do you have to host (as in, pay for) the after-party drinks? Definitely not. You certainly can, and it would be super nice, but after paying for everyone’s drinks for six hours, you’re off the hook (and I will tell you—if you walk into a bar in a wedding gown there’s definitely no one in the world who’s going to make you pay for you own drinks!). Also—if the majority of your guests are staying in the same hotel, that hotel bar can be a great option for this. It’s hard to say no to the after party when it’s in the same building as your bed. —Allison Davis, Davis Row
Alright friends, what are your best tips? Who’s navigated creating a Wedding Timeline? What have you learned?
