Can I Get My Money Back From A Bachelorette Party I’m No Longer Attending?

A Pandemic Etiquette Conundrum!

Dear APW,

I’ve been invited to a bachelorette party in July, out of state. In fact, all the women attending are flying from several states in order to attend. As I see it, this would be wildly irresponsible, but the bride and about half the group don’t see eye to eye. Recently, the organizer of the trip sent out an email saying that because of the host city’s looser regulations it was “definitely still on” and to let her know if we felt differently, making starting a conversation about not going very difficult.

I’m planning on not going, and let her know so, but have been trying to figure out the money part of it. We’ve all paid our part of an AirBnB. Is there any way for me to get the $400+ back from the group if I decide not to go because of the pandemic? I have accepted that I will lose money on the flights, but this trip was a stretch for me to begin with, and it would make a meaningful difference for me to get the money back. If we cancel the trip, we would all be reimbursed at least in part, but I am worried we’ll miss the window if half the group waits until the week of to make a call. It makes sense the bride would want to wait-her shower, bachelorette and wedding will likely all be impacted by this pandemic. Any advice about how to start the conversation? Should I just eat the money, since this is definitely heartbreaking for my friend?

—Broke Bachelorette

Is there a way to get your money back in a situation like this or do you just have to cut your losses? How would you start a (productive) conversation on this topic?

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