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What is Coronavirus Doing To Your Relationships?

The good and the not-so-great, we wanna know

Just because we’re living in our current hellscape (hello, shelter in place), meaning weddings are being postponed left and right doesn’t mean that there isn’t love out there. If you ask me, I’ve seen more acts of love in my community in the past week than I have in the past year alone. And to be completely honest, we could all use a little love right now, or maybe just some human interaction (one day).

APW is accepting essay submissions on your married/love/relationships in crisis stories as we’re learning to navigate this new terrain. We wanna hear all about the ups and downs of the role that new orders, like social distancing or shelter in place, has on your relationships. But mostly, we want to see what love looks like in current times. And hey, have you read about the guy holing up in his girlfriend’s apartment with her other boyfriend? We want those stories too! Submit your essay here.

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But for the time being, here’s how the APW staff is currently holding up:

Hi, I come to you some possibly #unrelatablecontent. David and I do really well together in situations like this one. In our early twenties, we would hang around each other’s teeny tiny NYC apartments when we were broke and marginally unemployed. We co-ran a theatre company together around the same time, again with very little money and a whole lot of time. And oddly, one of the most delightful times in our relationship was driving a moving van clear across country. No responsibility, and nothing but hours to while away. We like each other but more to the point (AND THANK G-D RN), we like spending time together. Of course, we’re pretty far from no responsibilities. I’m working to save APW (consider joining our Patreon here), he’s working full time as a lawyer for shut down school districts, and we have two kids we’re supposed to educate. (“Educate” more like.) But for all the ways we’re struggling, we really seem to be enjoying the time together. We’re getting in all those long walks, home improvement tasks, and conversations we we’ve recently been too busy for. But mostly, I’m profoundly grateful for a house with a lot of space, a yard, and open space nearby to stroll through. Put the two of us in 400 feet, and this would be working out very differently. (Also: all of this is subject to change. Check in with me next month.) —Meg, CEO. Currently located in the San Francisco Bay Area, CA.

 

I’ve been super thankful my husband and I are really good roommates, even in close quarters. In fact, logistically much less has changed for us than many others. I’ve worked from home full-time for about five years now, so there are parts of this new reality that are super familiar (tons of Zoom calls, making sure I get out of the house for a daily solo walk), and about a year and a half ago my husband also starting working from home FT. The transition was ROUGH—I had had YEARS of workday solitude that I was pretty bitter was being taken away. Eventually he found himself a passion project that got him out of the house most nights of the week, and I gratefully traded daily solitude for nightly solitude, but the first months of not knowing when I was ever going to have alone time again were actually really stressful. So my pro tip is this: Remember this isn’t forever. We don’t know the exact end date, but we know it’s not a permanent situation. —Keriann, Director of Partnerships. Currently located in Long Island, NY.

 

I am feeling extra glad I get to divide my time between two partners, and that my husband has an awesome partner to spend time with before we drive each other crazy, and I’m also feeling grateful that both our partners have kids that entertain our own lonely only. It’s a pretty great time to be polyamorous, honestly. :raised_hands: All the parents get breaks for solo time too, which is crucial for our sanity and wellness. —Leah, APW Astrologist. Currently located in Atlanta, GA.

Having a wife and a girlfriend has honestly been really great during this quarantine period. We have an expanded group of people (my wife, my gf, and my wife’s bf, and all our children) but we understand among us to limit any other interactions in keeping with the general quarantine efforts. Even planning the logistics of spending time here and there for the adults, along with various children, has kind of been a good distraction from the potential monotony of quarantine life. Spacing everyone out among the three locations also helps. Everyone knows I’m severely immunocompromised and so we’re all hyper vigilant about coronavirus entering our group. —Mark, Associate Editor. Currently located in Atlanta, GA.

 

As someone that prioritizes alone time this is particularly difficult for me. My partner and I have lived together for 6 years, originally in a 400 square foot studio and then finally moved into a bigger space with a yard and separate garage 6-months ago. We always made tight spaces work for us because we had opposite work schedules. Me going into the office working for APW and him in the service industry working evenings and late nights. 6-days out of the week we were like two ships passing in the night and that worked for us. Now, since the shelter in place order is in effect, we are allllll up in each other’s business. Luckily, he still has a job and his restaurant is still open taking delivery and takeout orders. He’s out there cooking to make sure customers are getting fed. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about him still going to into work. The one thing that has made this situation not so bad is the garden. Everything is really taking off and we’re taking great joy in that (and the fresh air). —Chelsea, Director of Operations. Currently located in the San Francisco Bay Area, CA.

 

My partner and I both work from home most of the time anyway. We share an office, cook meals together, work out together. We’re sort of that annoying queer couple. What we don’t normally do? Feel level 12 stress, try to homeschool a six-year-old (with ADHD), and not have meals out or other things to look forward to. So far, we’re doing okay, it seems. But also, I think we both know the time is ticking on that and eventually we will be burned out on each other, the kid, the barking dog (okay… that part already happened). So, for now, we’ll spend our weekend prepping a garden because we may or may not be bonding over a *bit* of doomsday prepping. All in all? I feel damn lucky to be in a lesbian relationship right now with a dream partner. She doesn’t leave the toilet seat up, she supports me in all the roller-coaster emotions, plus she’s a damn good cook. We’ll see what the coming weeks create. —Alyssa, Media Sales Manager, Currently located in Sacramento, CA

 

What’s up in your relationships right now? Any behavior you’re surprised by? Have you hit any roadblocks in your relationship? Maybe your S.O. did something really sweet for you that you think we should all know. Let us know all the details (good and not so great) in the comments!

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