Beth & Spencer

* Beth & Spencer, Music Therapists * Photographer: Little Bat Photography * Soundtrack for reading: “Heaven” by Brandi Carlile *

One sentence sum up of the wedding vibe: A loving, supportive gathering of our community and families, all rolled into a really good time!

The Info—Photography: Little Bat Photography / Venue: Saratoga Foothill Club / Flowers: Done ourselves with the help of family and friends, from San Francisco Flower Mart / Dessert: Homemade Italian wedding cookies and kiffles made by Beth’s mom and aunt / Beth’s Dress: David’s Bridal / Beth’s Shoes: Toms / Spencer’s Suit: Express / Spencer’s Shoes: Aldo / Beth’s Rings: Mansoor & Gore and DeNovo Fine Jewelry / Spencer’s Rings: Shaya Durbin

Other cool stuff we should know about: Our wedding was a really special gathering of our families and closest friends, who come from all different places and walks of life, and who were all there to celebrate our union. Beth is a very crafty person, and together we made the save the dates, invitations, programs, place cards, favor cards, and flag bunting that hung over the cake table. While we were elbow deep in DIY madness, we often turned to each other and said, “Why are we putting ourselves through this? We should just buy our invitations!” But in the end, it was so special to have those elements in the wedding that we spent so much time and energy on.

One aspect of the wedding that we put a lot of energy toward was making it an inclusive ceremony. Spencer is transgender and we both identify as queer, so being visible and supportive of same sex marriage were important aspects of our wedding. The ceremony itself was very inclusive of diversity, and Spencer’s father read part of the Goodridge v. Department of Public Health majority opinion. In lieu of wedding favors, we made a donation to Outlet, a local LGBTQ youth organization where Spencer volunteers regularly.

A special part of the wedding was seeing how much our families and friends really meshed—they all had so much fun dancing and getting to know each other, and we heard so many comments like, “We need to get together again!” Overall, it was just one really big, special party that we will treasure forever.

Favorite thing about the wedding: Beth: The energy—the feeling of “presence” that I was able to have throughout the day, and how I was able to take it all in as it was happening. I enjoyed every moment and just kept thinking what a special day it was. It meant so much to have all my friends and family in one place celebrating this huge life event with me.

Spencer: The ceremony—I was tearing up before I could even make it down the aisle, but everything about it was perfect. The officiant’s words could not have been more beautiful and the connectedness that I felt to all the family there supporting us was incredible. Having both of our fathers speak, the music, just everything fit in even more incredibly than I ever could have imagined.

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  • This is just smashing. Congratulations to both of you. <3

  • Emily

    I think every wedding needs a dad (or mom) reading from the Goodridge v. Department of Public Health majority opinion. So awesome. And the TOMS! I want a pair right now.

    • CBB

      My sister read it at our wedding a week and a half ago, and everyone loved it.

    • Beth

      Thanks Emily! :) The Toms were one of my favorite parts of the outfit. Spencer and I are the same height so I didn’t want to wear heels, plus I wanted to have comfy feet and dance all night! They worked out perfectly, and now whenever I wear them I have such awesome memories.

      And I totally second your opinion about every wedding having a dad or mom reading the Goodridge reading. Hooray!!

  • ElisabethJoanne

    We seriously considered that venue. Looks like you made really good use of the beautiful space.

    • Beth

      We loved the venue – it was a great space, both indoors where we had the reception and outdoors where we had the ceremony. The staff was also so helpful and really made the whole thing run smoothly.

  • I love the reading.

    Beautiful. It makes me smile.

  • Three things.

    1. Your dress KILLS ME. SO GORGEOUS.

    2. That photo of the man at the reception with the word “COURAGE” tattooed on his arm? I’m crying.

    3. Congratulations!

    • Beth

      Thank you, Kelly! The dress was one of those things that just sort of happened – I wouldn’t have picked it off the rack, but the woman at the store suggested I try it on and it just fit great (and was on sale!!) and it felt ‘right’.
      That picture of our friend Ben with the “Courage” tattoo is one of my favorite pics from the wedding. It says so much. Being married to a trans man, I get to see first hand the incredible courage and tenacity to be oneself that it takes.
      Thanks for your well wishes!

  • NB

    Eeep! Your celebration looks so gorgeous and joyful and family-filled, I want to give it a hug and a high five and a giant slice of apple pie. So many incredible, beautiful touches and gorgeous expressive people in one place—but I have to say, my absolute favorite is that picture of you circled up with your family. It brought happy, quasi-anonymous internet commenter tears to my eyes.

    Ginormous congratulations and best wishes, you two. YAY!

    • Beth

      Thank you so much – your comment made me smile! That picture of us circled up before the ceremony is one of my favorites. Our minister was saying a prayer and the energy and excitement in the room was palpable.

  • Emilie

    “One aspect of the wedding that we put a lot of energy toward was making it an inclusive ceremony. ”

    Always on a lookout for resources to do this. Would love to hear more about your ceremony.

    Also, really diggin’ your bouquet.

    • Beth

      Thanks Emilie – we made sure the ceremony was gender inclusive in it’s language, and didn’t really focus on “man and wife” sort of language. Also, instead of wedding favors, we gave everyone a thank you card that explained that we were making a donation to a LGBT organization. Here is what we said:

      “Whoever you are, wherever you’re from, whatever you believe, and whomever you love, you are welcome here. We would like to thank each of you for your presence here today and for the role you have played in our path. Thank you for your love and support, and for being here to enhance the meaning of this important day.
      We believe that marriage is a universal human right, and will continue to fight until the day when each of our LGBTQ friends and loved ones has the same legal rights that we are exercising here today.
      In lieu of the traditional wedding favor, and in gratitude for your presence here today, we have made a donation to a cause that is important to us: Outlet LGBTQ Youth Services. Let us protect all our youth on their personal paths and journeys.”

      • Emilie

        This. is. awesome.

      • Megan (from Nova Scotia)

        The first sentence of the thank you card text def. made me tear up. Such a beautiful wedding, and such beautiful words to go with it :)

    • Beth

      Also, I made the bouquet following the APW directions
      Hooray for DIY directions on APW!

  • Meredith

    I saw this post and loved her dress. I went to David’s site and saw it was on final sale and the only size left was mine. I just ordered it(with the blessing of my mom and sister), and I’m definitely freaking out a little. My wedding’s not until June 2014, and I haven’t tried on a single dress. This is going to be the longest 6-8 business days ever.

    • Edelweiss

      Ahh! That’s so exciting! Good luck. It is a lovely dress- if it’s not for you, I’m sure you can resell it. And f it s- how cool is that?

    • Beth

      Meredith – so exciting!! That reminds me of how I found the dress. The lady at David’s Bridal brought it over (I would have never picked it off the rack) and suggested I try it on. When I put it on, it fit like a glove and I was amazed how glamorous and beautiful I felt! And then I looked at the price tag and saw that it was marked down twice and was only about $250!! I felt like it was a sign. :) And now it’s marked down even more and it was in your size – the magic continues. I’m so glad you went ahead and bought it. I think you’ll love it, I know I did.

    • Meredith

      I tried the dress on tonight. It’s so beautiful, and I love it. :)

  • The dress is so classy…it was an emotional ceremony as pictures tell. congrats!

  • Lauren

    Your dress is stunning and your tattoos made it so much more beautiful! Congratulations!

  • LC

    I started tearing up at your ceremony photos – wow! What a beautiful day and marriage. Best wishes to you both!

  • Taylor B

    These are some of the most beautiful, joy-filled wedding photographs ever! Everyone has such lovely, huge smiles! I also got really distracted by your killer dress, stunning. Thank you for providing the wording of your thank you card; beautifully composed, and articulates some of our feelings about our upcoming celebration and its meaning. Congratulations!

  • Thank you for sharing your special day! Everything looked BEAUTIFUL.
    Very seldom are transgender marriages posted on LGBTQ wedding websites, so it’s so lovely to see you display your pictures, share some thoughts and respond to posts.
    I’m marrying my transgender partner (ftm) this coming July and your wedding is everything we hope ours will be. You’re an inspiration and may you have many many years of anniversaries to celebrate. Congratulations :)

    • Beth

      Thank you so much Jessica – and best wishes to you and your partner in your upcoming wedding!!

  • Jen

    APW noob, browsing through Wordless Weddings…this one is particularly lovely. The ceremony seemed fun but also meaningful – which is a killer combo!! Rock on. And, I think I spy a familiar “Courage” tattoo…so glad you have an awesome, supportive community! Belated congratulations!