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Do Black Lives Matter to My Wedding Vendors?

My non-Black vendors remained silent

Dear APW team,

First, thank you for this platform! You all have been a lifesaver during this entire planning process but especially through the pandemic and a huge thank you for having such an inclusive platform. Your commitment to elevating marginalized voices, especially those coming from Black folx during this time is so appreciated.

I’m writing because I’ve run into a bit of a dilemma. As you know, navigating the planning process during COVID is full of challenges but with racial tensions at an all-time high I’ve encountered one that I didn’t expect – reevaluating the vendors we’ve hired. I am a Black woman, I’m marrying a Black man, and our guest list is primarily full of our Black loved ones. We believe deeply in supporting our community and, as much as possible, tried to hire Black vendors for our wedding day. However, in the midst of all that’s going on, two of our primary vendors (coordinator and venue, both non-Black) went radio silent (no acknowledgment, messages of support, commitments to equity, to justice, to action etc.) and have since resumed posting to social media, business as usual. At the time of hiring, they seemed nice enough and the prices were right. They’ve been kind and a pleasure to work with throughout this entire process thus far but at this point, I’m questioning if they’re people I want to continue working with. It’s important to me that those we’re hiring to put on our Black wedding, value, love and respect Black lives.

It feels like it might be a little late in the game to make any changes with a late-October wedding but I guess my question is: should I? Their silence and now resumption speaks volumes so I don’t know if it’s even worth addressing but I’d love some input.

—Anonymous

Is it too late for this bride to let her vendors know how she feels about their silence? Should they change their vendors all together or should the couple address the issue at another time?

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