Do I Wear My MIL’s Handmade Wedding Dress or Let My Parents Buy One?

How do I decide?

Q:I have a wedding question that I can’t seem to find an answer for.

I am considering wearing a vintage wedding gown that was worn by my future mother-in-law and had been handmade by her mother. My own parents, however, have their heart set on going out and purchasing my chosen gown for that day. What is the proper action that I should take?

A: Oh friend… I can see how this feels like a conundrum. The short answer, the one you probably already know, is that it’s your day and you get to choose. If wearing your future MIL’s dress makes you happy and feels right… do it. If making your parents feel happy by letting them shop and buy you a new dress to wear feels right… do that. You could consider doing both (wear the vintage dress for the ceremony and a new dress for the reception).

And yes, letting your parents down, or your future mother-in-law down will feel hard. But, you’ve got this. You get to stand in the power of being in charge of exactly what it is that you want to wear on your body for your wedding day. If you decide to change the plan your parents have been envisioning, talk with them about what else they can help you with that would feel immensely personal and special… you know, let them down easy. You’ve got this.

So APW, what are your two cents on this wedding dress conundrum? Would you find a way to meet in the middle to make everyone happy? Or would you just wear what you want to wear? Is there a way to let a set of parents know you made a decision without hurting any feelings? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

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