Roundup: Wedding Accessories with Edge

A treatise on normcore and shiny things

Normcore, if we go by New York Mag’s definition, “isn’t about rebelling against or giving into the status quo; it’s about letting go of the need to look distinctive.

Maybe normcore is new to fashion, but as far as the wedding industry is concerned, normcore is the name of the game. Sure, the industry likes to throw around buzzwords like “unique” and “personal,” but for the most part, there is a limited range of what’s considered acceptable at weddings, especially when it comes to attire, and a lot of fear-based reinforcement involved in maintaining the standard (which anyone who has ever been threatened with “not looking like a bride” will understand). This goes for tomboys who would rather wear pants but get talked into cupcake dresses. And it goes for the glamour girls who wear sequins on the regular but end up “toning it down” in simple white frocks. It’s especially hard to break away from the pull of wedding normcore when it’s not just the wedding industry promoting bridal ideals. So you want to wear a romper to your wedding? Too bad anything other than a wedding dress would break your mom’s heart.

If you’re not someone who normally cares about what they wear, all of this probably sounds like the definition of no big deal. But when I’m feeling powerless, the ability to choose what I put on my back each day is what gives me just enough sense of autonomy to get through the day and deal with the stuff that’s actually making me feel powerless. Which means that when the wedding was bearing down on me, and it felt like everyone’s needs but my own were being voiced, my attire became my safe space. And one of the things I was willing to fight for. (It’s my body y’all. Let me wear the gaudy, shiny things!)

It’s a balance, though. I know how hard it is to fight the homogeneity of the wedding industry. It’s exhausting. And when you’re trying to convince your family that getting married on the beach instead of in a church isn’t a sign of end-times, well, clothing might not be a hill you’re willing to die on.

So if you’ve been feeling lately like the wedding planning process has scrubbed you clean of the stuff that makes you, well, youthen consider this roundup permission to put a little of yourself back in. The best part? You can do the normcore thing for family photos and the ceremony when everyone has their eyes on you, then slink off and throw on a ridiculous coverup and some crazy jewelry while everyone’s sipping on signature cocktails. By the time you get back, they’ll be boozy enough they won’t care.

Bags 1. Kzeniya Wild Chain Clutch, from Urban Outfitters ($149) 2. Women’s Glitter Knuckle Skulls Hard Case, from Amazon ($39.98) 3. Estrella in Gold, from Le Chic ($129) 4. Betsey Johnson Bright Lights Clutch, from Lord and Taylor ($78) 5. Alexa Mohawk-Stud Minaudiere, from BCBGMAXAZRIA ($103.60)

Coverups 1. DKNYC Plus Open Front Blazer, from Lord and Taylor ($139.50) 2. Plus Size Faux Fur Vest, from Simply Be ($69) 3. Fairy Floss Faux Fur Coat, from Nasty Gal ($88) 4. Champagne Taste Cape Blazer in Black, from Nasty Gal ($68)

Jewelry 1. Maria Black D’arling Gold Plated Earring, from Net-A-Porter ($150) 2. Nope Sweet Nothing Necklace Brass, from In God We Trust ($40) 3. Silver Secret Flask Bangle by Cynthia Rowley, from Bona Drag ($225) 4. White Embellished Draped Chain Shoulderpads, from River Island ($70) 5. Gold Tone Jewelled Body Harness, from River Island ($80) 6. Leather and Chain Wrap Watch by Sara Designs, from Shop Bop ($198) 7. Grier Brass Earrings, from In God We Trust ($110)

Bonus! Feeling like being a little mischievous, but not necessarily edgy for your wedding? Perhaps a new flask is just the ticket.

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  • Jessica

    If I could go back 9 months and get that cape jacket and an awesome “nope” necklace to wear my wedding outfit would have been 10,000% more awesome.

  • Stella

    Loving the Smiths’ hipflask!

  • MC

    … what is a body harness??

    I LOVE the secret flask ring. I’m totally going to buy myself a flask as a wedding present.

    • MC

      OH it’s a flask BRACELET. That makes more sense – more room for alcohol.

    • My question exactly! Pics please! What is supposed to to where here?

      • Lauren from NH

        Haha, it settles on your shoulders. …can you see it now?

      • Maddie Eisenhart

        Picture! This isn’t the harness pictured (also called a shoulder chain or a shoulder necklace), but should give you an idea. So pretty with a strapless dress.

  • BeccaC

    Anybody know what dress that is in the first photo? The details near the hem are amazing! Also those shoes are FIERCE!!!

    • Caitlin

      Yes, could I please second the begging to know about those shoes?!? They loook AMAMZING! OMG NEED! pretty pretty please

      • Maddie Eisenhart

        In exchange for finding these, I reserve the right to pat myself on the back for having mad Google skills. Deal?

        David’s Bridal Lace Booties. Tada!

        • Meg Keene

          Who knew David’s Bridal was flirting with the edge like that?

  • Kayjayoh

    Flask bracelet for the win!

    • swarmofbees

      If only bangles ever fit my hands.

  • Sarah E

    True story: after watching all of Beyonce’s new videos and seeing her rock a blush pink dress like I’ll wear to my wedding, I decided I must have a black leather cuff to go with it.

  • Lindsey d.

    Goodness yes! It took everything I had to convince my mom that wearing my hair down and big turquoise earrings weren’t going to ruin the wedding (not really, but she did take convincing). And my choices weren’t even truly edgy!

  • Lawyerette510

    I loved my ivory moto-style jacket I put on once it got chilly but had I known about the cape blazer, I probably would have worn that. Also, fun fact, my little jacket totally saved my dress from being covered in red wine. How? Well let’s just say by the end of the night people were coming up and doing a lot of the one-armed hug, with their red-wine in hand, and as a result splashing a good amount on my back, if not for the jacket it would have run down my back and all over my dress, instead the jacket just kinda soaked it up!

    • EF

      this is duly noted! I really want to wear a jacket (possibly this cape, because amazing) and now I’ll have an extra excuse to give the doubting mother-in-law as to why jackets can be helpful. :-D

  • Lisa

    Just to add a few ideas for edgy wedding garb itself, a see-through tulle overskirt and black flowers in your bouquet:).

    • Meg Keene


  • Caitlin_DD

    YES, the shoulder pads! The epaulettes! I want them to wear everyday.

  • Cecily

    Thank you for pointing out how the wedding industry is “normcore.” I wanted a loose, unstructured, lacy
    dress…something like this

    I ended up in a pretty boring white strapless dress, because my mom wanted something “traditional.”

    I wanted to use accessories to make the dress match my style a little more. I’ve started with this leaf necklace in silver (which my mom grudgingly accepted)

    I’m curious to hear any other ideas, though!

    • Sarah E

      That dream gown is to die for. I’d continue on the leaf theme and put flowers in your hair (real or fake)

      • Cecily

        Thanks, I will try that!

    • Sharon M.

      I don’t know – that lacy gown looked a lot more “traditional” to me than a strapless dress, which has only been trendy since 1990’s

      • Cecily

        Yeah, I know. I think that when my mom says “traditional,” she means “different.” All her cousins’ daughters got married in strapless dresses, so I have to as well.

        I sort of get where she’s coming from…my wedding is going to be pretty different for the family. I’m Italian Catholic, and I’m marrying a Jewish guy, so we’re not getting married in a church and we’re going to have a mixed ceremony. I think she wants the rest of the wedding to be as similar as possible to what the family expects, so she gets hung up on stuff like the dress.

        We’ve had a lot to fight about in this wedding, and, like the article said, I don’t really want the wedding dress to be the “hill I’m willing to die on.”

  • AG

    Yes! I didn’t really love my dress when I bought it (although I love it now because of the memories), because it was a pretty traditional wedding dress, and I don’t really love most wedding dresses. My hair, makeup, and jewelry, though, were all me. Neon pink lipstick, a stack of bracelets (old, new, borrowed, and blue), giant gold earrings, and white snakeskin sandals. To the best of my knowledge, no one fainted because I wasn’t wearing pearls, and everyone knew that I was the bride, even without any pale pink.

  • Sharon M.

    Oh hell, if I’d seen I would have totally worn that and to hell with my flabby arms.

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