Sarah, Special Education Professional and Writer & Zac, Startup Product Manager and Filmmaker
One sentence sum-up of the wedding vibe: A hippie Episcopalian ceremony followed by a delicious dinner and ecstatic dance party on a rainy SoCal day.
Soundtrack for reading: “People” by Silver Jews
Other Cool Stuff We Should Know About
Put everything on the table when you’re planning. Zac is not religious, and because of that, I assumed we’d have a justice of the peace do the ceremony, and that there would be no discussion about it. Then, about three months into our engagement, Zac asked, “Hey, do you want a religious ceremony?” I told the truth, and a few weeks later we were meeting with our priest, Zelda. She helped us modify the traditional marriage rites to make the ceremony inclusive to both Zac and our agnostic/atheist guests. Never assume that something is a deal breaker for your partner; only they can set those boundaries.
If you live in a city with a big creative market (e.g., LA, NYC, Austin), about forty to ninety percent of your friends are talented performers. This is a fact. Find them, politely ask if they might be willing to help you have a wonderful day, then feed and/or pay them well and love on them real hard. Both our ceremony musician and our DJ are our friends, and they were incredible. Bonus: If you get along with your non-friendor vendors, they’ll become your friends! Hi, Melissa! Hi, Greta!
All but one very saintly bridesmaid live far away from Los Angeles. When you are engaged, it’s on you to get in touch with your bridesmaids. I regret not calling mine more when I was planning.
If you wear glasses in your daily life and it is uncomfortable for you to wear contacts, wear your glasses on your wedding day. Do not even waste your time considering being uncomfortable. You will look beautiful, if I may say so myself.
Never let anyone tell you that toasts are the worst part of the reception. As long as your friends and family are smart and/or hilarious, toasts are wonderful, and might even make your partner’s boss cry!
Favorite Thing About The Wedding
The group blessing at the end of the ceremony, the toasts (which included life-affirming friendship histories, childhood legends, family-friendly college stories, and quotes from Hannibal Lecter and Lorelai Gilmore), Sarah’s very serious dad doing the Saturday Night Fever dance, and people making friends!
