Funniest Thank You Note Of The Week.

by Meg Keene, CEO & Editor-In-Chief

You guys send me the best thank you notes, which sometimes I’m too overwhelmed to even respond to ugh! But sometimes I have to pass them on, because they are really EVERYONE’s thank you notes. Sadly, I had to edit this one a tiny bit to make it, achem, less sassy. Enjoy, big sisters (and ickle ones):

Since we decided to get married I have read all of A Practical Wedding’s archives and I just wanted to email you and tell you how insanely grateful I am that it exists. Although we haven’t told anyone other than our parents and some very close friends, I am already feeling the oppressed*. After an intense obsession with weddings dating back to pre-school when I wore my luminous bride Halloween costume for weeks (prompting all kinds of Miss Havisham comments from my parents) I am suddenly terrified of weddings. I may have cried that I don’t want a wedding, I just want to get married. I may have yelled at my friend who told me J Crew dress’ were cheap** that I don’t want to spend twenty thousand dollars!! I don’t want favours!! I don’t want tulle!! or stupid matchy dresses!! or a super mellow picnic!! Or to incorporate awesome ’70s wallpaper. Whenever I feel oppressed I go to APW and breath a massive sigh of relief. Thank you for not being a mega-out-there-hipster. It’s not quite as scary as the WIC but it’s still scary.

Being able to read your blog and see all those lovely, cool, chic brides is kind of like having a cool big sister who’s done it before say ‘chill the hell out homie’ and also ‘it’s going to be okay’. Or a couple big sisters. Which is nice.

So thanks, dude. Enjoy being married. Which is the whole f*cking point really, isn’t it?

*When I think back to this horrible I’m-community-property feeling in wedding planning, sometimes it makes me want to just not tell anyone when I’m having a baby. Ever. I mean, even after I have one. Then we can not talk about ‘proper mothering,’ and how my kid needs a million toys, and shouldn’t live in a large walk-in closet, and the like. (This is NOT an announcement that I’m pregnant by the way. AT ALL.)
**In fact, way over-priced, says the girl with the $250 hot-as-hell wedding dress. Check this out please (not just recommended because we share a name, or because I passed her shop every day in the East Village for years).

Meg Keene

Meg is the Founder and EIC of APW. She has written two best selling wedding books: A Practical Wedding and A Practical Wedding Planner. Meg has her BFA in Drama from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts. She lives in Oakland, CA with her husband and two children. For more than you ever wanted to know about Meg, you can visit

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  • Well said!

  • Awesome email! I am loving the sisterhood around these blog parts. Also this:

    "When I think back to this horrible I'm-community-property feeling in wedding planning, sometimes it makes me want to just not tell anyone when I'm having a baby. Ever. I mean, even after I have one. Then we can not talk about 'proper mothering,' and how my kid needs a million toys, and shouldn't live in a large walk-in closet, and the like."

    Is where I'm at right now too. Which is why the current plan is to become a hermit.

  • I couldn't agree more! Especially with this:

    "When I think back to this horrible I'm-community-property feeling in wedding planning, sometimes it makes me want to just not tell anyone when I'm having a baby. Ever. I mean, even after I have one. Then we can not talk about 'proper mothering,' and how my kid needs a million toys, and shouldn't live in a large walk-in closet, and the like."

    I was at a block party a few weeks ago and had a PERFECT STRANGER offer to teach me everything she knew about weddings because she had gotten married last year and she knew it all. As soon as she started listing all the things I needed to make sure not to forget, you know favors, seating charts… blah blah blah) I shot my finance a look that could have probably killed him if I had super powers (he's the one who introduced this girl to me, since he had accidentally mentioned we were engaged when he spoke to her). He apologized later and promised not to point out our engagement to strangers again. :)

    I guess I forgot when I got engaged that the questions about the wedding wouldn't stop until the thing is done. Of course, once that is done then the next set of questions is babies. Since when did getting married make your life suddenly an open book for everyone?

  • Meg

    I think you get a respite, if you don't get pregnant right away. I'm enjoying being off the market, so to speak, at the moment. Whew.


  • Her dress is really pretty.

  • oppressed is the perfect word for it….

  • This letter perfectly says how I felt while planning my wedding (and explains why I'm so glad it's over)! Thanks so much to Meg and all the fabulous peeps who read and contribute to this blog!

  • Cat

    Well freakin' said! There are people telling me how I should and shouldn't get married (we're not even officially engaged yet, but it's clearly coming). "HAVE PRETTY FAVORS! MORE FLOWERS! TABLE LINENS!"

    To which I say, eff that. We're going to have our wedding the way we want it – minimal, small, but pretty and full of love. When I tell people I'm planning a whole wedding on a budget of about $10,000 (hopefully less), they look at me like it's impossible and tell me that if I want to be cheap, I should just go to Vegas and get married by an Elvis impersonator (I'd prefer a Star Trek wedding, myself). No. I'm going to have my pretty dress, flowers, and a gorgeous reception, and I'll do it for under $10,000.

    Thank you, APW!

  • Just realized that I put my comment (above) under the wrong post :)

    Silly me.

    I meant to post under Desaray's wedding graduates guest blog.

  • What a great note! I love coming here for all the same reasons, especially the lack of pressure to have an oh-so-very-[whichever type] of wedding.

    Also, J Crew dresses *can* actually be cheap (I mean for-real cheap, not just in comparison to the big designers). I got mine on eBay (new with tags and in perfect condition) for $65, and that included shipping and a matching veil! (Thank you to wonderful eBay seller "drleake"… I wonder if she reads APW?) And it fits perfectly, except for the length, so all I have to pay extra for is to have it shortened.

    See, good things come to people who are chill/sane… and APW readers! :D

  • When I get home tonight (I'm not reading APW at work, I swear), I'm going through allllll the archives. Every one of 'em. I've been reading here a good long time, and now I'm actually engaged! We had dinner at my FMIL's house last night, and I already started getting the judgmental looks.

    I have a feeling I'm like a lot of fellow APW readers in that I'm slightly "against the grain" as the FI likes to put it, but I'm not quite indie/vintage/offbeat/hipster enough for the against-the-grain blogs out there.

    Plus I've starred like 90% of Meg's posts in my Google Reader. Rock on, sister.

  • Cate Subrosa

    It's a silly reason to do things in the traditional order (marriage then babies) but wedding planning really is good preparation for pregnancy, great practice for dealing with that community-property feeling with grace.

    Ashley – the baby questions started for us when we got engaged! But then, I'm eleven months married with a month old baby in my lap, so maybe they were onto something ;)

  • YES, THANK GOD. Yep, Leah, I agree with what you said about being in between. I'm somewhere in between Completely Offbeat & Indie (omg, screw 'weddings', I'll get married for 3k) and TheKnot (CARD BOXES. EVERYONE NEEDS CARD BOXES. DAMASK CARD BOXES).

    And no matter what I say or do, I get flak for it. Which brings me to the other part of this that rings painfully true– the community property thing. I'm already being torn in every direction, and I can only imagine how this can continue through motherhood.

    The worst was a CHURCH friend of mine, who I've known all my life, who accosted me about why I wasn't having my wedding at the church. It's for various reasons (there's a soup kitchen the night we want it, the parish hall is VERY parish hall-ey, it's a pain in the ass), and none of them involve her! I spent at least a half hour talking calmly and trying not to snap on her.

    I think you're doing it right. More wedding graduates and people talking about how the process made her feel, about what they remember, about the Important Stuff. Since I'm still early on, I'll admit that I like suggestions and ideas and advice, but I know one thing I'll ALWAYS love to read is people from the other side of this ridiculous and magical event.

    So, yeah. Keep it up, APW. Way to be awesome. :D