Q: My fiancé and I are getting married this fall, so we are having a wedding shower over the summer in my fiancé’s home state. Her sister is also pregnant with a due date two months before the wedding, so there is going to be a new cutie in the family!
However, her sister has scheduled a gender reveal party for the same week that we are out there for the wedding shower. This is where the conflict comes in: My fiancé and I are queer women and stand behind the trans community. Assigning someone a gender at birth and reinforcing gender norms on a baby based on their genitals is bad for everyone. Gender is a social construct. I am tempted to wear a t-shirt to the party that says that. Yes, I did already buy it.
I know the adult thing would be to talk to her sister about it and discuss our moral stand against those types of parties. Though I am not sure it would be the best thing since my soon-to-be SIL leans more conservatively and may not take the news well. But boycotting the party on moral ground would be a whole headache of its own.
Please give me something other than “grin and bear it” because I cannot in good conscious do that.
Frustrated Feminist (FF)
Would you do the “adult thing” and talk about it? Or would you wear the shirt? Have you been in this situation before? If so, what did you do and how did your decision Affect all parties involved?