Am I a Jerk If I Host a Vegan Wedding?

A toxic combination of veganism and people pleasing

Wedding Advice Two Cents Confetti Sign

Q: My fiancé and I are in the process of planning our wedding and we are currently at a catering crossroads. APW has been an invaluable resource to us during our engagement, so we have a question to pose: Will we be jerks if we host a vegan or vegetarian wedding for omnivore guests? My fiancé and I are a toxic combination of vegan and people-pleaser, which means that we spend a lot of time fretting about inconveniencing our friends and families with our dietary restrictions. We both grew up in Kansas and currently live in Minnesota, so we mostly hang out with Midwestern meat-lovers and have no issue with people who eat meat. However, we both really hate the idea of paying for meat for our reception dinner. I’m torn between wanting to prioritize my guests’ comfort and wanting to stick to my beliefs. We don’t want anyone who attends our wedding to feel like we’re (literally) shoving veganism down their throats and we don’t want anyone to be hungry. But my fiancé and I also want our wedding to reflect the values and the life that we share. Is it offensive to ask people to eat vegan? How do I please everyone?

Are you serving a vegan-only menu? Are you vegan and serving meat at your wedding? Why or why not? How about you non-vegans with other dietary restrictions: Are you serving food you and your partner don’t eat to please guests? 

 If you want the APW community’s two cents, send it to QUESTIONS AT APRACTICALWEDDING DOT COM, and we’ll do our best to crowd source you some answers!

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