Imperfect Weddings

If you still believe in perfection, you are too young to get married. Nothing in life is perfect, especially a big party. But even if we don’t believe in perfection, we are all being force fed this idea that our wedding day will be perfect. Everyone talks to you about “Your Big Day” “Your Perfect Day” “The Happiest Day of Your Life.” The problem with these ideas are that they stress you out. Since brides are told to expect and require perfection, and that all the details matter, that often translates into a huge amount of stress. I’ve seen brides waiting to go down the aisle in full freak out mode over one detail or another. I read about a bride who didn’t enjoy her wedding day at all, because after all her planning, her $10,000 gown ripped, and even after some safety pin intervention, she couldn’t enjoy the rest of the day. And I think we can all agree, we don’t want that to happen to us.

So, what to do? Things are going to go wrong on our wedding days, and we need to expect that. Our Labor of Love posted pictures of this adorable bride, who was in a cast on her wedding day. Instead of ruining the day, it made for great pictures, and gave the couples stories they will tell for the rest of their lives. She was carried down the aisle on a chase lounge, holding her dad’s hand, and her new husband carried her back down the aisle.

When you start asking around, everyone has a story of something that went wrong on their wedding day. My parents had all red and white flowers for their wedding… except for the floral cake topper which the florist inexplicably made out of bright yellow roses. During our friends wedding the grooms 11 year old brother and groomsman fainted during the service because he was locking his knees to stand “extra tall.” I went to a wedding where the DJ started narrating the brides every move “The bride picked up a wine glass! The bride kissed the groom!” And my mom turned to me and said, “Boy is this going to make a great story one day.” These crazy mistakes didn’t ruin the weddings. They added imperfection to joyful days celebrating wonderful, but imperfect relationships.

Maybe we should think of whatever goes wrong on our wedding days as lucky. Maybe we should start telling brides to “break a leg” on their wedding day. It would be healthier then wishing them the happiest day of their life.
Photos via Our Labor Of Love (my photo crush out of Atlanta).

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  • I think the only “perfect” thing about my wedding was that I was perfectly sure about my choice of husband!

    That seems like the right sort of thing to try and be perfect about.

  • I remember meeting with our minister she asked how we envisioned our “perfect day” and I flat out told her it won’t be perfect something will go wrong and that will make it entertaining.

    I’m kinda hoping that it’ll mostly be one of the kids doing something cute but as long as I am married in the end I’ll be happy. No reason to stress and worry about something beyond your control.

  • What a great post.

    I have already got Baddie’s gift for our wedding day – it is a very battered copy of Sandol Stoddard and Jacqueline Chwast – and I have already decided what I am going to write in it.

    It includes this: may this absolutely not be the happiest day of our lives.

  • *battered copy of “I Like You” by… *

  • so true! i can’t wait for the imperfections of our wedding! my mom forgot her veil at home, she had to buy another one…so now she has two veils!

  • I am a new reader of your blog, and spent about an hour reading through old entries — how wonderful it is to see a bride to be finally hit the nail on the head when it comes to the important things concerning weddings, marriage and wedding planning!

  • I wholeheartedly agree. Also, if you are still immature enough to think that you deserve to be “princess” for a day, you are too immature to get married.

    Did I think my wedding day was perfect? Yes. Did things go wrong? Yes, but I still thought it was perfect because I was marrying my husband in front of all my family and friends.

  • This is a great post, I think it’s the imperfections that make things perfect :)
    I’m giving my fiance the book, I Like You too :)

  • amazing post. one of my favorites ever. and very much needed as I’m 10 days away and trying to stay calm!

    Thank you!

  • Meg

    Indeed Lucy, Indeed. And Guilty Secret, it’s so sad to think that it’s all downhill from a big party, no?

    But wait! Do I spy a blind, Irish pirate reading my blog? I do, I do! Hooray! I love pirates. (and thanks).

  • Peonies and Polaroids

    Well said. ‘Perfect’ is lacking in something, soul perhaps. Imperfect is perfect to me.

  • Peonies and Polaroids

    ‘Ring the bells that still can ring
    Forget your perfect offering.
    There is a crack in everything,
    That’s how the light gets in.’
    Leonard Cohen

    Was he talking about weddings do you think?!

  • Meg

    Peonies. I’ve always loved this quote. It would be a perfect wedding reading, don’t you think?

  • Peonies and Polaroids

    It would, wouldn’t it!

  • I ADORE this! Such a great find, and such a great attitude!

  • This post is too true. My husband had a broken collarbone and was in a brace during our wedding–it certainly made for funnier stories and made every other little imperfection seem like no big deal at all!

  • Great post !! i really like… thank you :)

  • Love your blog a lot, and it will help a lot for my blog, and i am also working on a wedding ideas blog, and want to exchange links with your blog, if you agree, you can contact me via e-mails or leave a comment on my blog.

    Wish your interest.

  • I tied the knot almost 2 weeks ago in the gorgeous Rocky Mountains of Colorado. Since we were getting married in the mountains, at almost 9,000 feet, we knew that the weather could do anything. The day before was beautiful – warm, sunny, blue skies. The morning of our wedding we woke up to dark skies. Yikes! Our wedding was scheduled for 3 pm, and of course it started sprinkling at about 2:30 – right on cue! Our wedding ceremony was postponed for about 20 minutes until the sprinkling stopped. After that we carried on! I didn’t freak out – in fact, I was sitting in a guest’s RV drinking white wine! All of the other guests rushed over to a nearby reception building. All was ok, and that was the only hiccup of the day!