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Is There An Ethical Way To Have A Small Wedding?

Most of our loved ones are essential & front-line workers

Q: Hi APW! My fiancx and I are planning a November 2020 wedding. After doing a cost-benefit analysis of canceling our wedding and forfeiting deposits (lol, I hate 2020), it’s looking like downsizing our wedding rather than canceling will likely be our way forward due to financial constraints. We’d already booked most of our vendors before the pandemic hit, and luckily, our venue is outdoors with plenty of room for social distancing. I think a small, pared down wedding will still be a lot of fun and a lot more intimate!

Here’s my issue: my fiancx and many of our loved ones are front-line essential workers. My fiancx is a firefighter/EMT, our best man and maid of honor both work in hospitals, and my future SIL will be teaching in-person elementary school. On top of that, one of my bridesmaids would need to fly in from another state to attend.

I’m dealing with a lot of guilt about our pared down wedding. Unfortunately, most of our chosen family don’t have the privilege of quarantining, and I would never forgive myself if any of my family or friends got sick at my wedding. I’m not sure if there’s an ethical way to have even a small in-person celebration this year that’s larger than just the two of us. We were really looking forward to our wedding and would lose a significant amount of deposits if we cancel/postpone.

I would love any advice you have. My partner and I are committed to taking every precaution we can and postponing if there’s no possible way to share this with our friends and family, but we just wanted to see if we were being too myopic about ways to make this safe enough to share this moment with a small group of loved ones.

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