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Our Families Didn’t Bat an Eyelash at Our Interracial, Interfaith, International Same-Sex Wedding

"We were just two people in love, wearing ridiculously beautiful clothes, and pledging to spend our lives together."

 J, LAWYER & K, LAWYER

SUM-UP OF THE WEDDING VIBE: Bright, celebratory, and intimate.
SOUNDTRACK FOR READING: “
La Vie En Rose” by Edith Piaf

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THE WEDDING

Sharing the day with some of the best people we know: our loving families, our beautiful friends, and our talented vendors.

OTHER COOL STUFF WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT

J and I met on the first day of law school and started dating as 2Ls. We’ve seen each other through a lot in the intervening five years—finals, the bar exam (sharing one hotel room!), coming out to our families, my mom’s diagnosis and recovery from cancer, a year of long distance while J clerked in Indiana, three years of big-law life, seven moves, one bout of mononucleosis, more than a few misguided fashion choices. We wanted our wedding to be a celebration of the people who brought us to where we are today—our dearest family and friends, our dog Petunia, and the queer community who came before us.

In many ways, being a same-sex couple freed us from a lot of the expectations that come with a wedding. With the help of some of the most talented women we know, our wedding planners (Sugar and Nar, of Taylor & Hov), we were able to plan a bright, colorful, meaningful wedding that really reflected who we are. We got ready together, alongside our families and our brides-mates. Our incredibly talented friend from law school officiated. We had our parents walk us down the aisle, and our wedding party was made up of our siblings and dearest, oldest high school friends. Our ceremony featured Rhianna quotes and jabs at our respective taste in music.

We didn’t plan on doing a first dance (a couple of practice sessions in our living room convinced us that our dancing need not be shared with the world), but we had a spontaneous first dance to “Gangam Style” (J’s karaoke specialty), together with our families. Seeing J and her dad rocking out together was one of the best moments of the wedding for me.

We also had some incredible toasts from our fathers and my “man of honor” (my brother) and J’s co-maids of honor (her sisters). As fantastic as our families are, as a interracial, interfaith, international same-sex couple, we had some concerns about how our families would feel about our wedding. But our families couldn’t have been more supportive, and I found myself laughing and crying through their speeches. It was moving and incredibly affirming of our life together.

Our amazing photographer, Sarah Gormley, and hair and makeup artist, Ariel Lewis, also deserve shout outs. J and I were really nervous about the wedding—we aren’t typically that affectionate in public, and we’d had a pretty fraught experience looking for the right wedding attire. Sarah and Ariel made us feel beautiful, confident, and most importantly true to ourselves. There wasn’t a moment where I felt like either of us had to play the part of a “bride” or “groom.” We were just two people in love, wearing ridiculously beautiful clothes, and pledging to spend our lives together.

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