Houndstooth Slanket ($29.99)
If there is a celebration that requires gift-giving, I will most definitely be in a store twenty minutes before it’s set to start, purchasing last minute gifts. This is my truth. It’s not that I don’t appreciate putting thought and effort into gift-giving; I just usually put more energy into the planning aspect of the present than into the execution part, and the next thing I know, it’s party day and I’m empty handed. But just because you’re giving last-minute gifts, it doesn’t mean you have to give thoughtless ones (it wounds my pride when I buckle and give a gift card). So today we’ve put together an assortment of last-minute gifts, all of which are either available with free two-day shipping from Amazon Prime or from a major national retailer that more likely than not exists nearby or at your closest mall (I live on a farm; the closest stores to me are Target, Walmart, and three more of each in the opposite direction).
ONE A butter crock is the one kitchen item everybody needs and nobody knows exists (and you’re pretty much guaranteed that your recipient doesn’t have one already). It keeps your butter soft on the countertop! In pretty stoneware! Why don’t you have one already? Oh, because I wasn’t invited to your holiday party, that’s why. ($34.95)
TWO One year, I spent three months sourcing vintage decanters to give to a friend for Christmas (she eventually received that present in March, I think). Turns out you can buy pretty etched crystal ones on Amazon for $30. Who knew? ($30.99) Or if there’s simply no time to bother with shipping, head to your local mall and get one engraved at Things Remembered (bonus points for clever personalization). ($35)
THREE Whiskey Women: The Untold Story of How Women Saved Bourbon, Scotch, and Irish Whiskey. For your most badass of lady friends. ($17.04) Paired with an equally badass set of old fashioned glasses like these ($45.88), these ($79.95), or my personal favorites ($29.99).
FOUR This tray has foxes for handles. I’m assuming you need it. ($29.99) 
ONE Leather touchscreen gloves are for taking selfies (the cold air makes my cheeks look rosy, you can’t blame a girl.) ($20.25)
TWO On the lazy scale, subscriptions fall somewhere between an actual gift and a gift card. Pair three months of Audible ($45) or Hulu ($23.97) with a Slanket (scientifically proven to be more awesome than the Snuggie) in their favorite color.
THREE Cards Against Humanity. For the friends with the most twisted sense of humor. ($25 for the original; $10 for each expansion pack)
FOUR Green soldier book ends or Nerf gun ($19.99), because you’re never too old.
FIVE Hyperbole and a Half, the book. ($10.79) (Editors Note: Seriously, this is my book of the year; it’s HILARIOUS. – Lucy)
ONE Babies like to put earrings and necklaces in their mouths, but that shouldn’t forbid you from getting to wear colorful jewelry. Kate Spade bangle in “Gild The Lily.” ($32)
TWO A good travel mug, for running to and from daycare. Because, caffeine. ($30.21)
THREE A book that’s easy to read. (This one was written by Meg’s first cousin once removed out-of-law, a smart feminist who happens to be a best selling author in the UK. She has lots to say about how women’s commercial fiction should be taken as seriously as men’s commercial fiction, FFS.) Just because they’re too tired to make it through a book that won a Pulitzer shouldn’t mean they’re confined to US Weekly.
FOUR A subscription to Piccolo, which pulls your Instagram and Facebook photos and then mails you the prints each month. For obvious reasons. ($36)
FIVE A gift certificate to Artifact Uprising or Pinhole Press, because you’re an enabler and you know they are just looking for an excuse to make a puzzle out of their baby’s face.
Six A few hours of babysitting, so they can go to a movie, or get a drink. Because it’s all they really want, and they are probably not going to ask.
