Dear Friend: Let Me Help With Your Wedding

by Carolyn

Dear D,

I wanted to take a second to connect after last night’s epic four-hour all-bridal-party video chat. I feel like we bridesmaids managed to leave you, our beloved bride, looking a bit shell-shocked by the end. The emotional and logistic enormity of a wedding will do that to anyone. It’s all leading up to next week, and you’re totally ready. I know it feels like a lot of plates spinning (and it is!), but you have things under control and are doing well even from several states away! Please believe that we’re not asking you ten thousand picky detail-type questions to stress you out, but to hopefully help you avoid the mistakes we all made. (You see, by having had exactly one wedding I consider myself a world-renowned expert.) And although you’re doing an awesome job, remember you’re just one person. Even though you will—spoiler alert!—have a few more moments when you feel blindsided and unprepared, you have to trust at this point that we’re all here to make this wedding happen.

Please keep asking for help. Your partner wants to help. Your mom wants to help. We, your best friends, want to help. Because nothing will make us happier than seeing you be able to step back next Saturday, stop worrying about the stuff, and letting yourself soak up the love coming at you full-force from all sides. It is the best. Really. You are completely surrounded by people who love the shit out of both of you. I promise that will not change one bit even if it rains, the cake collapses, the flowers die, or the sheep escape from their pasture and knock over all the tables, and we have to eat standing up. Fuck, if that happens, it’ll be memorable at least.

Remember, the end—and the beginning—are in sight. (See what I did there?!) You love each other; the rest will sort itself out.

Your loving bridesmaid,



This post left us inspired to write our own notes to friends who are planning weddings, so we decided to make it an open thread to do just that. If you have a friend who is planning a wedding, leave a note of your own for him or her in the comments. Maybe the person will see it, and maybe not, but your letter is sure to give someone in the APW community a much-needed reminder that our friends are on our side when we’re planning our weddings. 

Photo: Gabriel Harber

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