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Married Sex and Trying Something New

Doin' it and doin' it and doin' it well.

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The story you hear over and over again about married sex is that it’s boring, and, well, it never happens. And at least among the married APW staffers and writers, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Sure, over many years, the frequency and quality of sex varies. But it’s perfectly possible to be with one person for a long time without getting bored. In fact, the opposite can be true. While you might not want to try out something new and daring with someone you’ve only been sleeping with for a few weeks, trying out something new with someone you deeply trust and have been with for years can be fun. Or at least… feel safer. (Because hell, if it turns out to be something you don’t like at all, you have someone you can talk to about it right there in the same bed/sex swing.)

Trying something new with your partner can range from getting cute new underwear at Target (has everyone figured out that they have cute, well-made, and cheap underwear? They totally do), to buying a sex toy, to trying a new position (or location), to watching porn, to trying something big and crazy and possibly scary. And while some new things come easily, some can be more intense, and involve more discussion with a partner, who might not totally be on board at first.

But, like all things in marriage, it’s sometimes the big scary things that leave you feeling closer to your partner than ever before… even if you decide that you’re never going to try that stupid thing again.

So this one is for you guys. (And today is all about going anonymous in the comments… leave a fake email so your photo doesn’t pop up!) When is the last time you tried something new with your partner? How did it go? Are you wanting to try something new, but having a hard time talking to your partner about it, or actually following through? Are you in a phase of life where new things in bed feel totally overrated? Dish.

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